Yesterday I took DH to his appointment with our PCP for the results of his bloodwork. EVERYTHING is as normal as it gets! We got a new prescription for the 10mg of Lisinopril for his blood pressure and that is the only one he gets from the PCP, the rest of his pills are from the neuro. The biggest problem is with the ALZ and lack of memory, other than that he is in good health. I have decided to keep him at home and forget the ALF's. Between the application fee and having to buy bedroom furniture and linens, kitchen set and sofa as well as the $109 per day for the room plus cable and extra for them to give him his meds it will all go a long way to pay for in home help when it is needed. Our PCP suggested we get a stationary bike to help DH with his legs which he says feels weak at times so I will check the ads in the paper and Goodwill to see what is out there at a reasonable price. Sometimes I think I shouldn't be in this group because I am not going through what so many of you are. DH isn't aggresive/angry is still continent and can take care of his ADL's and has never wandered away. I realize that any of that can change but right now he is easier to get along with than before he was Dx'd. As long as it stays this way there isn't all the anxiety etc. so I guess I can handle it. I don't know how many of you get through the days with your LO being so difficult and I read your posts with awe and admiration.
Mine's not angry, aggressive or incontinent (at least not yet) either Jean. The process is so individual, yet there are zillions of points shared here to which I absolutely relate.
That's why we all have to figure out what will work for our unique situations, and I hope you've found yours.
Jean, Right now my life is about the same as yours. Before DX I wanted to leave my DH. He was so mean to me. Now he is easy to get along with and I am still able to work part time. I do try to count my blessing every day. I know that an any time it can change. And I do like having my DH here with me. We do not talk much but he is he with me. And we still have our DD here and she is a hoot!
I to am in awe of everyone who has it so much harder than I. I thank you for letting me be here with you. I would be lost without this group.
Jean21, we are about the same place as you all are. I sometimes also feel like maybe I shouldn't be here - I seem to have it so much easier than most on this site. My heart goes out to the others who are having such a hard time. DH is 87 and still does his ADLs, fixes his breakfast, showers, shaves, is not incontinent - I am counting my blessings. Otherwise,he is in fairly good health. Just shuffles a lot when walking and has his aches and pains. I count my blessings everyday.
Maybe the universal is the loss of a relationship, and the impossibility--as a spouse--to be anything less than immersed (and therefore deeply affected by) the dwindling presence of our loved one.
The variables are the relative (in)competencies of our spouse, his/her illness-personality (is it better or worse than the original?), and how our particular circle of family and life necessities shape the decisions we have to make.
Jean there is a simple pedal device you can even get at Walgreens. It is so small you can store it anywhere. http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&aq=0&oq=pedal+exercise&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4GGLL_enUS334US334&q=pedal+exerciser or just Google pedal excerciser
Some here have some pretty difficult situations to deal with. My wife does need help with ADL and I have a home health aide that comes 6 days a week to help. I plan on keeping her at home as long as it is possible. She does get difficult at times, child like. Everyone is on a different path to the same end place. Some pathes are more difficult than others. You can be thankful for the less difficult path you are on today. I do like to see what the road ahead will be like and do come here to find the best route.
Jean 21, I am in much the same situation. DH had a checkup in November and the Dr. told us he was perfectly healthy, his labs were all normal. Still, he complains a lot. He says he has a cold, but I don't hear him sneezing or coughing. He said his ear hurt on the outside. He had a little rash, but kept rubbing it until it bled. He can shower and dress himself and make peanut butter crackers. He no longer knows how to use his computer which frustrates him. He won't let me tell him how to do it. The biggest problem for me is the loneliness. We no longer can have a sensible conversation. He has a hard time finding the right word and forgets everything. When we go out he has to use the restroom no matter where we are- church, grocery store, restaurants, movies. He gets frustrated with me when I can't understand what he wants.
maryd, My DH decides just when we are ready to leave the house that he has to go to the bathroom. It doesn't matter that he went 5 minutes before. He also goes when there is a bathroom within easy reach of wherever we are! He does complain quite often of having a cold when it is just his constantly running nose which I think he has had forever.
emily, I am the only one to make decisions no family and no close friends here. Tomorrow I am going to lunch with a friend from church. Her husband died last year from LBD, she had a male nurse coming to their home so I am going to ask her about him and what he charges or if it was through an agency. I am just trying to get all my ducks in a row and be prepared. We went to an ELA when DH was still understanding things so I have POA for financial and medical. This house we bought last summer is in my name as well as the utilities, so the only thing now is deciding when DH will need in home help and eventually placement in a NH.
To everyone who posted, it is nice to know I am not the only one who doesn't have it so bad. For a while I was thinking I should maybe just drop out of this site but then I wouldn't have learned all that I have from any other site so I will stick around. Thanks to everyone and especially Joan for starting this site.
I have been here for several years and while Aricept (and now Namenda too) has stabilized her (she continues her ADLs) it is such a relief when I read about the behaviors! It always seems that no mater how crazy (unique?) the behavior, others always chime in to say that they are seeing the exact same thing.
It is very comforting to come here to a place where bizarre becomes normal. It also is a BIG help to know what the future will bring, always hoping that it is much later than sooner.
BTW - my standoffish wife has become VERY friendly, smiles alot, greets strangers in public and tells me she loves me more now than in the prior 20 years. . . . I am savoring all this while I await the agression and rage :-(
Althrough obese & hypertensive her entire life - since her Dx (at age 57 now 60)the blood tests are 100% normal and her hypertension is cured (no meds) - I guess she is ready to live a L-O-N-G, long time . . . . lucky me.
Jean - I am in that category as you others have mentioned. Yes, his short term memory is bad, he can't do some of the repairs he use to or is slow to figure it out, but he is still high functioning. If he was not, we would not be traveling. Some days I don't see a reason to come except this has become family - I need to check to see what has been going on and who needs prayers, get clues to what the future may be ( I say 'may' because not every spouse is the same).
Jean, see if your PCP can get him authorization for Physical Therapy. That is what I have done with dh and so far so good. It helps with his balance and strength. I just tell him he is going to the gym for a workout. That works..it if is pt forget it.
My situation is much like Vickie's..he will shower and shave when I remind him and he does it willingly if he has an appt otherwise he is happy to look like the Unibomber. I pick the battles and this one is not one I beat him up about if he does not shave or comb his hair. The issues are little compared to those whose spouse is falling or incontinent etc. It is all the little things and little time for oneself that get to some of us plus the lack of friends who used to be friends but are now too busy with their "normal" lives to have time for even so much as a cup of coffee or a skype call or phone call just to say hi, I am thinking about you. They know what our lives are like and they don't want any part of it. What is annoying is knowing that when one in particular was in a tight place I helped out a lot and now that I am in a tight place they are nowhere to be seen.
So for some of us the frustration of just the daily routine is so routine that there is no color to our lives, it is just the drab day to day sameness of it all that makes it hard.
Just yesterday someone called and asked how dH is doing and these folks are planning a drive north of us and want to get together for lunch or dinner which will be nice. In the course of conversation I mentioned all the appointments and some need rechecking as to the schedule since DH was in hospital in Dec. so we can plan the get together. And I just mentioned how this is a never ending thing, this rat wheel life to which the caller just chuckled. I simply said " there isn't anything funny about any of this" and he said you are right...see these people are friends of DH since they were all kids together..and their life is nice and normal with trips to see their grandkids and trips to Europe etc...so they don't get this and it does not help that DH sounds so good on the phone..
That is my vent for the day..Cookie the smart cat spit her pill out last night and now I have a new battle...how to pill "That Darned Cat"....Gave the pill to her in the dining area..she spit it out in the kitchen some feet away from where she took it..I think this cat has a Phd in spitting out pills.
Mimi, I don't know if this will work with your pills ... ask your vet. My vet gave me a sort syringe type thingy, and I'd put the pill in it with a little bit of water...and shake it untill it became a slurry (the vet's word for it). Then, I'd just hold my little dog in my lap, open is mouth with his neck extended... and squirt the slurry down the back of his mouth. Voila... with just a little spit..most of it was gone!!!!! He didn't like it but I loved it. I've tried shooting the dry pill down his throat with the other apparatus they use, but he'd cough that up. The liquid just gets swallowed ... Some pills should not be dissolved or crushed, so you'd need to ask your vet if this will work with the specific pills you have. Good luck!!!
Nancy, So far I can get the lasix in her by crushing it in a small amount of food, the one that was liquid has been changed to a transdermal and so far works well, the tiny aspirin I can usually get in her with a bit of food surrounding it but the diltiazem is not big around but a little thick and she can find it, hide it in her mouth and spit it out. It is a time release pill.I have tried 4 differnt tricks with her today and I have yet to succeed . I just gave her some really nice fishy stuff...ate the fish left the dang pill..so I am going to try one more trick..I am going to take that pill pocket and put the pill in it and put some fish smelly drips on it and see if that will work otherwise I will just have to force it. I am going to call the vet and see if there is another way this med can be given to her..Anyone who thinks cats are dumb have never owned one LOL or should I say have been owned by one..
My Yorkie always spit out his pills too, so I made up a bunch of little marble-size liver sausage balls and I'd hide the pill inside. Since he was a fast eater he just swallowed the whole thing with no problem. Not sure how this would work with dainty eaters like cats.