as i was reading the various threads about things that we see all the time with our spouses, it occured to me that maybe a thread should be started that addresses this. so many of us see common things occuring in almost every stage. it may be very helpful to someone to be able to read what we see as a group to know that what they are dealing with isnt just their own spouse but occurs with so many. i can think of two of the foremost for me that almost everyone has witnessed at one time or another. not all may see these things but i am using it as a common place that alot of us here have discussed to the point of nauseum. :) please add to the list-
1. "GO HOME". mild-mid stage.. this as we well know can mean anything - sometimes referencing a past home that gives them comfort, or even a spiritual place -its unknown most of the time where or what this means.
2. SHADOWING following you around sticking to you like glue:)aka their security blanket- comfort zone- mine even shadowed me to the point of using binoculars to get a closeup of whatever i was doing- even if i was a few feet away. being so close and clingy it drives the caregiver crazy at times.
Thanks for starting this thread, divvi. Very good idea.
joang
3. PERSONALITY CHANGE - very early stages; often attributed to "mid life crisis" in men and menopause in women. They become impossible to reason with, fly off the handle for no apparent reason, and can see no side to a story but their own.
My DH is more advanced and is now having trouble feeding himself. Most times he gives up and goes with the first utensil he ever used...his hands. For the last couple of days he seems to have trouble holding his cup.
Just can't remember the day of the week, the month, the year. Can't recall if there is an appointment for that day or not. Can't recall if they ate a meal when they just finished.
Can't understand what is going on with the TV programs(any of them) only news and the weather channel. He also can't understand the written language like when reading books. Has forgotten what a lot of the words mean.
Far and away I think the single most common characteristic is what I refer to as the groundhog day syndrome ... asking the same question over and over again with no recall of having just asked that same question!
Very interesting thread...It might be helpful if the stage would be listed. Thank you. My dh seems to have something new and different several times a week. I think he is stage 5 but maybe stage six or beginning to be in stage six.
What about the fleeting moments of lucidity and awareness common to so many AD sufferers...infrequent, but they do occur, and can be deceiving to others so that some may think they are "getting better".
DIFFICULTIES GETTING THEM TO SHOWER/BATHE! it can occur at any stage but mostly mid-moderate stages. say 5ish? boy this is a duzzy for many of us. many ideas why they dont like water anymore or see the need for cleanliness or changing clothing. we must become very creative here to get them clean. some have chosen to just go with the flow and allow them only once a week bathing or so -pick your battles, try one time, they say no, try again later.
I can hardly get out of his sight, he wants me to validate everything, where is that, what time is it, what day is it,why, why, why. I cant have a thought of my own, he constantly has to have reassurance of EVERYTHING!!!Stage 5 I say, he denies any problem>
My dh has been looking like he is leaning forward when he gets up in the morning. Then later in the day he seems better. Is this how this condition progresses?
How does the number stages equate to the Mild..Moderate...Severe stages??
Compulsive EVERYTHING...arranging condiments on the table, squaring up placemats, napkins, glasses, walker moved again and again to the same spot...etc. I second the compulsive buying early on...romote controlled airplanes in our case...very spendy items especially when bought in bulk!
Yes my DH is OCD about everything. He washes his hand a thousand times a day. HE REALLY ISNT COMPULSIVE ABOUT EVERYTHING, HE HAS PICKS, LIKE MY DRIVING FOR INSTANCE. hE DOESNT WANT TO GET OUT MUCH ANYMORE!
Yesterday my DH and I talked about taking a walk after his nap. When he woke up he looked right at me and asked me if Sheila was still wanting to take a walk. I told him that I WAS Sheila and I would love to take a walk with him. He continued to look at me and said "She said she wanted to but I wasn't sure". I told him to go back to sleep for a bit and then let me know what he wanted to do. He slept for another 5-10 minutes and looked at me and said "Hello Sheila"...knowing what he had done/said earlier. Tonight we went out to eat with 3 other couples. After we ate we went to a little pub for an after dinner drink. We all sat down at the table and DH stood there beside one of the women friends and asked where I went. I was sitting right beside her. I am so thankful we have understanding/caring/loving friends. They are so very patient with DH and know I need to get out of the house once in awhile. So I guess MY little ditty is that DH talks to me/at me/about me and can't see that I am sitting right beside him.
I have the same problem. This is funny...ever so often he will walk up to me and say "I am Cordis".... Yep, you're Cordis. He always knows my name when he is hungry.
Today we were sitting with another couple at brunch. While I was talking to the husband, with my head turned away from my wife, she reached over and took a piece of smoked salmon from the wife's plate. Fortunately she was able to get another piece of salmon. When I appologized, her reply was that my wife's action was "kind of cute". It really wonderful how supportive everyone here in the retirement Inn is.
Yes, Marsh, that is why we enjoy hanging out with the retirees vs working people. In general they are relaxed and take life less seriously. It is like with grandkids - we tolerate behavior from them that we would never have from our kids when they were growing up. Called 'mellowing' with age.