This is the first time I've seen anyone else post about forgetting how to eat a sandwich or hamburger. This is a new problem with my DH. He takes a hamburger apart and eats the top first, then the lettuce, onion and tomato next (with his hands) and then on to the meat and bottom of the bun. I have tried wrapping half of it in a napkin and show him how to hold it. Does no good and he gets it all over him. Would appreciate any suggestions on how to handle this. Vickie, it just breaks my heart to think of all you've been through. Heartfelt hugs for you.
I don't think there is a way to handle the eating thing. My DH has a major problem eating anything that has to be picked up (burgers, sandwiches, tacos, etc). We don't eat out anymore because of his "messy" eating of everything. Sometimes he holds the plate up to his mouth and shovels the food in. I never comment or try and help anymore, it just pisses him off. I just let him be, and clean up the mess when he's done.
I see DH staring at his food sometimes as if trying to figure out how to eat it. Tonight I gave him a dish of (sugar-free) instant pudding and went to answer the phone, forgetting to give him a spoon. Later he came to get me and wanted me to come to the kitchen. So I went, and there was the dish of pudding (which he dearly loves), untouched. He could not figure out how to get a spoon out of the drawer, or even from my plate where I had used one. We don't eat spare ribs (his favorite) in restaurants anymore because he can't remember how to eat them. But he has no trouble at all with KFC.
Yes, this is definitely something that gets trickier. We still eat out, quite a lot, but I do steer him in the direction of food choices that will be easier to eat. Fat sandwiches and overstuffed burgers are, as others have noted, among the more difficult to eat things. If I make the sandwich, it's manageable, because it will be relatively flat and not so inclined to fall apart.
He often gets a chicken caesar salad, but sometimes I have to cut the chicken up if it's served in bigger-than-bite-sized pieces.
The best foods are ones that come in a bowl and are spoonable--like Japanese donburi, which is a bowl full of rice, vegetables, and possibly meat, but all small. Soup works ok too.
I think that if you end up ordering a difficult sandwich at a restaurant, it probably just makes sense to cut it up and let it be finger or fork food.
its easier to eat the burger or sandwich with all the veggies on the side cut up. the burger can be made with bun, meat, cheese and then quartered with the veggies on the side. iused this method alot.
There was NO WAY my DH could have eaten a hamburger , taco or sandwich that 'comes apart'...not for a year or 18 months before he died. He could manage a grilled cheese if I cut it into fourths..or a chicken salad because the filling stuck to the bread..always cut into small finger strips(or fourths..) If the sandwich would fall apart, I guarantee he couldn't eat it. He did well with peanut butter on crackers, or cheese squares on crackers (small ones). He ate with his fingers only (not spoon or fork) for months. Joan, they cannot LEARN anything back or NEW. Listen to Bluedaze, once it's gone, it's gone. You can show him how to hold the burger, but once it starts falling apart, you're back on square one. Keep it simple and cut up the lettuce and tomatoes on the side..and try to stick the bread to the patty..maybe if you melted cheese on the patty, and put the bun on top of the cheese while hot, it would stick.
PS. SORRY SORRY Joan, I should read more carefully. I remember wondering how quickly Sid had declined if he couldn't eat a hamburger and wondered how that could have happened. I apologize for thinking it was YOUR story. It's just as sad regardless of who's story it is.
My hb sits and stares at food for a long time, too. As Joan did, we've moved to chairs and TV trays (not allowed in past years--especially when kids were home) because it takes him so long to eat. A couple times he's separated veggies and lettuce from a salad into like piles around his plate and then eats a bit. He doesn't eat much at all, but hasn't lost weight. Junk food and sweet stuff, oh yeah, he goes for them. If he doesn't have a spoon for yogurt, he sticks his tongue in it. Obviously, can't get it all out that way.
Mine very carefully cuts a hamburger or sandwich into four pieces. He does this very slowly - then usually will eat it all. If anything slides out,he'll eat it too~! LOL
Re: eating anything like a sandwich or finger foods. My DH will not pick up anything with his fingers. Everything is cut up with a spoon or fork (he prefers a soup spoon) He even slurps his coffee or juice with a spoon. He will not touch the food at all. This has been going on for almost 2 years now. Even things like cookies are cut up and he scoops up fruit like cherries or bananas as well.
phil4 i think thats a first for me hearing this= and i have been at it 11yrs and many other stories.. wont touch food. goodness. that can make for hard work! i hope somewhere along the way this changes so its easier.
divvi I haven't changed how I cook. I leave to him to figure it out. He's a very slow eater anyway so it adds another 1/2 hour to the meal. Do try and cut up his toast in the morning so he can eat it while it is somewhat warm.
Mine still uses a fork very carefully, If I hand him a sandwich so he can hold it, he will eat that half that way, but then I come back and find he's taken the other part apart to eat. He eats well with his fork (I cut up his meat) but he does spill a bit down his front. Whathehell. He eats his ice cream VERY CAREFULLY and VERY QUICKLY every night.
I try to catch him in the act of going for ice cream...otherwise it will end up over the place if I don't scoop. Same with coffee. I can jump up and do the refill, or I can mop up the countertop.
I'm glad I saw this thread. My DH is now having major problems with his food. He can use a spoon but he will overfill the spoon (I don't think he sees how much is on it) and then he can't get all the food into his mouth so it ends up on the table, floor or him. Also, he tilts the spoon (don't know how to describe this) so that its not going directly into his mouth. Usually ends up using his hands. With burgers or sandwiches, he'll usually take a bite and then he takes it apart. Toast with jelly is OK....he gets lots of the jelly on his fingers because he has to touch it to feel the jelly I guess? He has a few problems with his cup now. At what point do you just decide to feed them or do you just let them continue the best they can?
Audrey, I don't know about feeding them or letting them feed themselves - perhaps both as long as he can do something. The exercise will be good. I went to a store that sells Beauty Salon supplies and purchased 2 capes like the Beautician uses. They provide a complete cover-up for someone who drops food on themselves. Easily cleaned by using a damp cloth. I used these for both my husband and my Mother.
emily, you scoop? My DH just eats it right from the carton, and I don't care anymore. He eats like a 3 year old, very messy. If all he wants is junk food and sweets, I don't care. Choosing my battles these days! :)
My DH also has troubles with a sandwich, he takes the top off it and eats that, then tries to eat the bottom piece - very messy. I have stopped trying to eat out, he makes such a mess with his food even though he now eats with a dessert spoon only. He used to be quite a fast eater, but now is very slow and takes a long time to chew anything even though it is cut up quite small for him.
MY DH is getting slower and slower eating. I have noticed I always have to wait for him if we are out, and if home I am up and doing something else befor he finishes. I guess this is part of the overall package we have been handed. He is stage 5
I have noticed that if it is something he likes he eats slow. If it is something he doesn't like he puts too much in his mouth and eats fast. He wants to know what everything is even mashed potatoes or fried chicken. He doesn't recognize what he is eating. By the way, he knows what ice cream is and that he wants chocolate syrup on it. He does not like a lot of his favorite foods any more and surprise, surprise he likes broccoli.
Bama thats so true. taste buds must change. prior AD my DH would have barfed over the suggestion of yogurt aka 'clabbered milk' .. haha. now we gets one every day and loves it.
My DH has to have horseradish on everything so that he can taste it or he won't eat it. I have to cut the meat into tiny pieces even if it is so tender it falls apart. It is like he can't tell the texture of things. Also, I can only get him to eat one meal a day, the rest of the time it is sweets and snacks. I don't argue the point anymore, not worth it!
I agree that taste buds must change -- or maybe they just forget that they don't like something -- within the last two months my husband has eaten sweet potatoes, brussels sprouts and garlic bread, all items he would never have touched before. Also he recently ordered French Dip at a restaurant and thought the au jus was soup and ate it like it was. He also would eat raisin bread toast for every meal if I would allow it -- I think he doesn't remember how to make a ham sandwich, which was one of his favorites.
My dh is also taking everything apart. But I just let him as he eventually eats it all. I buy the long aprons at Walmart and the work well. I also found that putting dh at the table in the wheelchair is a lot less messy than when he was eating on a TV tray. We don't go out anymore because I can't get dh into the car anymore. So finger foods are great (chicken mcnuggets, cut up burger, chicken tenders). Even tacos are a little difficult as he holds everything so tightly. I feed him the ice cream as it is easier. Cookies in winter or angel food cake that he can handle well. You just have to let go of what it looks like as long as it gets in the mouth. Then a quick clean up with a handy washcloth. At night after the last morsel, I take out the partials, brush his teeth and even wash his hair before getting him situated in his lift chair. Some things are just easier in the wheelchair. Meals will probably begin to feel boring, but you can have something special for yourself as a treat.
My dh does not remember what to eat with utensils and what is ok for the fingers. He holds the plate up to his mouth and will push the sandwich to the edge of the plate and bites it. Looks funny but he is happy. He eates chicken and pizza with a fork if that is what is in front of him, and eats lettuce salad with his fingers. Seafood is a real trip. He tries to eat the shells of stuffed crabs and the tails of the shrimp. Most of the time I have caught him before he injest the non-edible parts but a few times I am distracted and did not catch it. He lived but I panicked wondering what would happen. For the record, everything came out alright. Just like a few others I choose which battles to pick. If the food is not too messy, who cares? He is happy, I clean up the mess and then we begin again. My dh no longer knows what to use if fork, knife and spoon are laid out. He doesn't know what he is looking for to find them on his own. That is all left up to me now. I also have to encourage him to eat. He never says he is hungry anymore or if he is hurting. He will come to me and look puzzled and I guess until I figure out what is wrong with him. Just like my children, I figure it out. We never realize just what we did for our kids until we have to do it again for our spouses. This sucks but it it what it is.......
I have to be sure DW's food is cut into bite-sized pieces, then give her the fork or spoon. Often I put a piece of food on the fork and put it in her mouth ("priming the pump"). Then she gets the idea and starts to eat. When we get shrimp I take the tails off before I let her start eating.
For those of you who like crab. I am a novice but my daughter came over for the holidays and she loves it so I made it for her. Well what we discovered is if you have kitchen shears (or metal cutters) you cut the shells on one side before steaming so that when you take the crab out, it is still warm! My daughter bought herself a pair of shears and says they work great.