My dh is about to drive me bonkers. It doesn't matter what I tell him, he's positive that he already knows that or that we've already discussed it. Doesn't matter that I just found out 5 minutes before. I'm sure this is something quite common to AD patients, but what is the reason for this, does anybody know?
mothert, The reason is Alzheimer's! My Dh has done the same thing occasionally. Most times I don't tell him anything because he won't remember if it comes up again and if it does come up again I have to explain, explain and explain until he get's it and that drives me crazy.
I rarely get "you already told me that," but I have observed (for quite a few years now) that AD does seem to make his brain think it's seen things or experienced things that can't possibly have happened.
For example, we're driving along and pass a bicyclist: "I see that guy every day," he says. We go to a new restaurant: "Just a couple weeks ago, we sat at that table over there," he says.
This happens a lot. I used to say "no, we've never been here." Usually now I just nod and say "mmmmm."
My DH for years has say"You already told me that", when I had not and...." Why didn't you say something sooner"....Even if I just found out. For years I have been putting up with this. Now I just let it roll off my back.
And I have noticed the seen things that can't possibly have happened.
Yup: you've already told me that. Yup: he's seen things or experienced things that he didn't or couldn't have. Mark it up to ye ole dementia brain.
Yesterday while I'm trying to explain he needs to change clothes and why and how, he said, "My head hears what you're saying, but I don't know what you mean." Enter the Charades game.
Emily, my DH says this often at restaurants we've never been to before and tells me where we sat last time. Then at other times when we go somewhere we go often, he says we've never been here before. Zibby, your quote is right on and it must be awful for them to hear us and not understand what we're saying or not know how to do what we're telling them to do. Bless their hearts, they're doing the best they can. So sad.
Yep..our conversations are no longer conversations if we want to keep OUR sanity. We just learn to say yellow is green and pink is gray or whatever... My DH is going to lunch on Fri..got a friend to take him so I don't have to go and I can have a day to myself..it will be fun for both of them BUT it is flight gear lunch so he has his flight suit out..has not tried it on to see if it fits....around the middle....elsewhere I think it will..He has his flight jacket and helmets so he has things to select. He is driving me nuts with this and do I have any appointments today???
I have appts for him tomorrow morning and I think I need to get him out for a hair cut and a blood test.
Actually, when Sid says, "You already told me that", he is correct. Much to my complete shock, because usually, he can't remember ANYTHING I tell him. It drives me crazy that I have to repeat most everything at least 5 times, but when he remembers one thing I told him, he gets indignant that I repeated it. ?????????????????????????? Go figure.
Joan, my DH does the same thing. I just let him believe that he is right in getting on my case for repeating something that he didn't need to hear again. Mimi, I would say that over half of my stress is lessened by not arguing with him.
MY DH tells me when we are driving , That car was in front of us yesterday! Or if a car in on side, will say That car was there last time. It wasnt! I think he is trying to convince me of his good memory. I just let it slide.
Hmmm. Someone told me that as the brain cells deteriorate they leave behind blank holes which our loved ones fill immediately with "new" memories as soon as we tell them something. Of course, they forget it almost immediately; but they think they've known it forever. And, when driving, my husband also thinks that he saw that same car or bush or whatever in that same spot just yesterday. In fact, they're there all the time.
One problem with always going to fast food joints, they are all alike. Hb thinks we have been to the one before when we have not. He never argues when I say we haven't adding 'they all look a like. I believe a lot has to do with his effort to remember things.
Oh, yes -- this is quite familiar. My DH always claims he's been somewhere before when I know it's the first time we've been there. Last Fall a new outdoor recreation area opened in our community -- since it was a beautiful day, I decided we should take a drive and walk the trails there. My husband insisted that he had been there years before with our children -- it made me sad when he said that, but at least he connected it to a happy time when our kids were little. I also tried to draw his attention to the brand new picnic facility that had been constructed, since he is an architect and structural engineer. That was even sadder -- he just had no interest in it .