Today was the funeral for a former Sunday school classmate. I couldn't go as I had a doctor's appt but my DD went as she is a close friend of her granddaughter. DD spoke with a couple who 'were' close friends of ours. When DH started getting worse, they dropped us like DH had a communicable disease. They did come to his memorial service, but I haven't heard from them since. It will be two years next month.
In the conversation she had with them, they asked how she was doing in school and mentioned their GD who she used to teach with among other things. Nowhere during the conversation did they ask about me, how I was doing or.... It was like I don't exist.
I must admit I haven't contacted them either, but my feelings are hurt they didn't acknowledge me. DD said to just ignore it, but I'm finding it difficult.
You know, I have similar feelings about a GF to whom I have sent a few emails and posted on her FB. AT first I thought well she is a new grandmother for the first time and in kind of in a new group of first time grannys and her youngest daughter is getting married in the spring..this was last year. Then a few days ago I sent her an email..just a hi how are you, told her about the kids moving to Iceland and my brother's wife's battle with cancer, our additional cat, and that my DH is about the same... Last Christmas, I saw her on a walk and hailed her and gave her a Christmas gift and she later brought a nice one here..very thoughtful useful items... I have started to wonder, however if there would have been any communication if I had not got to her first with a Christmas basket since I have heard not a peep since, not answer to a simple email. So today I took her email address out of my book in the computer. I have not taken it out of FB as it also notifies the person that they were removed. Yes it hurts to know we get shelved. The sad fact seems to be that they don't want to know how things are going for fear we might just ask for help. Imagine that. Yet we helped them in a time of need..it goes to show us who are real friends are..they are the ones who will take the LO out to lunch or to the flickerbox (movie), get a haircut..etc...they are fewer and farther between.
My feelngs, which is what I say to my GD when thier girlfriends drift away, for whatever reason.... It's their loss. I too, have experienced that loss, but you know, the one's who stick are the one's who count. the one's who call, who take DH to lunch with them, who still invite us both over for dinner, those are the one's who matter. For the rest, it's their loss.
Life will educate them only if AD moves into their realm..I find otherwise highly intelligent people just don't get it..I think I am going to get some pamphlets or maybe forward some info to a couple of people that mean well but don't get it..keep repeating things and they WILL get it..it WILL stick...yayoubetcha, sure thing, without a doubt...maybe in another life.