I'm wondering if you try to help your AD spouse remember family? Yesterday my DH asked his only son if he had seen his brother (obviously no brother). We thought he was talking about his grandson, but that didn't seem to be who DH had in mind. Today I tried to help him to recall his children. That is beginning to go now. We went over family names, where they were, who had children, names of husbands, name of his siblings. He doesn't feel intimidated by talking about this but I'm not sure any of this really helps. Is it best to just accept the inevitable or is it worth it to look at pictures (he doesn't have that much interest in them)and to try to help with recall?
frand-my feeling is that it is frustrating to our LO's to try to recall. I brought a memory book to my husband in his ALF and while he seemed to enjoy looking at the pictures he really didn't understand what he was seeing. They live for the moment.
I have the names o his children on the calendar he looks at every day. We have been looking at old picture albums.But.....sometimes the pictures bring back a memory sometimes they don't. He often does not remember his childrens names. Also I have a family picture on display where he can see it every day.As the AD progresses the memories fade. We saw the doc today. She gave me a letter stating he was not capable of decision making to accompany the power of attorney. She indicted severe AD . Only last year when he tried a driving test she had indicated mild AD.I agree DH is living in the moment.I don't think he understands that he has changed or that he has AD. He is in his world.
My husband will look at the pictures of our family which are on the wall in the den, including the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, and I'll say their names and he'll nod and say yes. Since he can't remember his own name or mine any more, I don't even ask him their names, but just tell him who is in the pictures. Especially since he knows we're going to visit them all on July 5th. :) I'm hoping that by doing this with him daily, he'll recognize them, even if he doesn't recall their name at the time he sees them!
Our dining room table is lined with 10 scrapbooks from our last ten trips and "Our Journey Together" which is the book I wrote for him of our lives together from birth through last August, including pictures of us through the years to help him remember his life. I enjoy looking at them occasionally myself!
A friend I met at age 7 has become a lifelong friend. Her Mother had dementia and would say to anyone she met, "I don't believe I know you" and the reply, "I'm Jason, your grandson" or whatever was such a sweet exchange. I don't know if someone made her feel comfortable saying that, but I thought at the time how wonderful it would be to not fret (as my DH does) about not remembering people. I'll never forget the one time Lou said to me, "Your Nettie's daughter aren't you?" and for a fleeting moment she knew me. It actually was a highlight of my life!