We are enjoying the sunshine. Art enjoys walking around through the vendors and it gets us both out and walking. The sunshine has lifted both our spirits. I have been looking for summer workamper work for me and he is fine with that except he doesn't want to go back to the the PNW and rain. I had an offer from a place near Olympia but when I checked their weather and see it is raining and cold, I get depressed. I can't see going back to that. yesterday I sent out resumes to about 25 places in sunshine areas and are waiting to hear back.
I was wondering if somewhere in my mind staying in sunshine is escaping the facts, and may be. I have to admit being down here has seen how much he has changed. He use to look young for his age and some still say that, but what I see is someone that is looking old for 63. I see someone who use to take showers every day, now saying he hasn't done anything to get stinky so doesn't need to. He was complaining about his tailbone hurting - in truth it is he 'butt crack' that was raw. I told him he is going to have to take a shower at least every other day to clean it and so I can put cream on it. I know what it is from cause I have the problem - sitting and not letting air get to it to dry. He sits all day and sleeps on his back. I use zinc to keep the area dry He also had some rash in his crouch from sweating. I have had it for years and have never gotten rid of it. That is a positive to being south - I can wear shorts which helps. (no I will not wear a dress).
I am now doing personal care that I never wanted to do to him, but knew it would come. I also noticed that his penis has really shrank. I know it is common as men age, but did not expect to see it happen so soon. Oh well. Due to the type of sexual abuse I had as a child, putting the cream around his genitals was very hard - his butt was fine, but not the genitals.
I now know I will have to make a decision where to settle sooner rather than later.I had a couple dreams the last week that had that message. I know Fran lived in a motorhome and was prepared for caring for her hb in it when he suddenly took a turn and died. Kids are out - my daughter is in TN" and her life is a mess plus we can't stand each other. My son can't seem to talk without using profanity and the 'f' word - neither of which I will tolerate. Says he won't talk to me anymore cause I hang up on him, yet yesterday he called wanting to know what that foam was that has waves - eggshell foam. I can't deal with their chaotic lives and I think that may be part of why down here is so relaxing.
Art does great at learning how to get back to the RV park. He will surprise me on what he does and doesn't remember. Maybe cause of so much going on the last few months in Vanc. I didn't see the losses, but here I have no choice. At least up there I could go to the store by myself - here I can't go anywhere. Up at my sister's is the stress of her denial of how severe her problems are, despite her daughter whom she spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with telling he she can't live alone. Now my nephew who has his problems is living there too. I am glad she is helping her grandkids instead of my kids.
We have even thought of staying here. The lot rent is low, we could buy a window a/c for the summer, or get a little closer to Phoenix where they have VA clinic. I just don't know. Like many of us here, I am tired of having to make all the decisions and his input is not help - 'whatever you want to do, I trust you to do what is best for me'. what about me??
I know I was away for a week, so maybe I missed something, but I have no idea what you are talking about. Where are you? Are you on vacation? Are you in a motorhome?
All I can tell you is that we moved from the frozen North 4 1/2 years ago, and have never regretted it. No matter how bad Sid gets physically, at least he can always go outside. If we still lived in Massachusetts, he would be housebound 9 months of the year. The warm weather has eased my arthritis and brightened my spirits. I love it, and so does he.
Joan, we live in a motorhome = have since 2004. We had always dreamed of being 'snowbirds' and doing the big Quartzsite RV show. We figured this better be the year not knowing how much longer he can travel. We are sitting in beautiful Quartzsite, AZ with daytime temps in the 70s. Many would not call it beautiful, but everywhere has its beauty. As long as I am where I can see the mountains, I am happy. I never thought I could live without forest around me, but I can and love it.
I moved my DH and I from Minnesota to New Mexico around 5.5 years ago. For mostly the reasons Joan posted. Mostly I do not regret it. But in some ways, I did lose my "inner compass" and have done rash and destructive decisions. I have floundered further and further into clinical depression.
The biggest factor on the negative side of this move was leaving any support system I had. Left all friends and family. On the postive, I adore the climate, the people I have met are kind and the medicaid system has allowed me home health care aides to help me.
I understand the power of mountains on your soul, the sense of space and peace when being able to see miles and miles of desert around you. At this point, even with the emotional pain I have gone through and the sense my family no longer has time for me, I wouldnt return. I have made this place my home.
Thank you Sheltifan. I have family up in Oregon/Washington but I would not call them a support system. I don't feel anymore alone than I did up there. Maybe even less alone. It may be because when you know they are nearby yet don't help, there is pain. Down here I know they are not near and have a valid excuse.