Since my husband was a CPA, someone suggested I set up a "desk" for him in the house as an activity for him. Some of the facilities/daycares do this type of thing, try to relate the activity to what the person did for a living. I found his old adding machine in the basement (it still works); going to try to get some blank tax forms, see if he has any interest. I have tried in the past to get him involved in things like board games, looking at art books, etc. to no avail. She said that perhaps this would recall his occupation (which he took pride in and enjoyed) and perhaps it would relieve boredom/anxiety.
I have not thought of a way to make that concept work. He was a hardware man, renovator, and architect and I thought of a box full of nuts and bolts to reassemble, but brain degeneration has not really progressed in an order as to make that appealing. He'd have to have retained his ability to connect two pieces of hardware together (which instead he's lost,) and he'd have to have lost enough sense of reality to think that was a worthy occupation. (Instead, he would think "what's this for..." in addition to the fact that he couldn't do it.)
Well, I guess he's found his own niche, more or less. He also had a lifelong interest in investments, so he usually spends his free time (which is any time he's not running errands with me, or eating,) "reading" any of about 3 books by Warren Buffett. Actually, he only looks at the table of contents, without ever noticing that he's not really reading the book. Our daughters glance over now and then and say, "that book has a lot of contents."
I also got him an iPod shuffle, loaded it with music he likes, and we put the earphones on him. He can groove for quite a little while, until it's time to do something else.
marilyn, i can attest that yes if they relate to the prior work they did before it does serve to entertain them. my DH was an atty, and i gave him a briefcase full of attys stuff:)memo pads, pens, tape recorder stapler, and put candy treats in pockets inside for him to find. he spent hours unlocking checking rearranging and then started over again. and he did like to sit at his own desk during the day and go thru drawers. if asked what he was doing he would always say 'working'. give it a try maybe it will trigger some memories.
emily--was your husband an architect in the era before computers? Would setting up a drafting board, with t-square and other tools perhaps bring back memories? I took a drafting course while I was studying interior design at the Md Institute in the 1980's, I may even still have those things stored away here somewhere, if you want them.
I guess I need to go to an office supply store to see if they still have the yellow accounting pads that were used to do spreadsheets before computers. I am really trying to go back in time and get to earlier years, before everything was automated.
My husband loved "boating" and flying his own airplane. Of course, he hasn't flown for maybe 20 years, but he still remembers it so fondly like it was just yesterday. Any ideas of how to incorporate those activities? I was thinking of a model airplane or boat that he could put together, but I dfon't think he would be able to concentrate long enough to be successful at that.
As far as I'm concerned these suggestions are right on. My DH was a salesman and before that worked in a warehouse. He has 12 dozen logo golf balls left over from his company. He set it all up in the basement like a store with inventory. He made a list of what he has which he keeps making over and over and constantly rearranges the golf balls, his clubs and his golf shoes like they are being readied for sale. I tried so many other things to keep him occupied and he was never interested. He discovered this on his own. It's given me hours to myself. If you can find the right pastime it works like a charm.
Marilyn, when I first read your suggestion I didn’t think it would work for my DH, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that maybe it could. My DH loves knick-knacks & maybe if I cleaned off his desk & asked him to arrange his knick-knacks on the desk he would enjoy doing that & it would keep him busy for a while. Joan, my DH also worries that someone will steal his things (mainly me) so maybe I can tell him that we can lock the room so no one will take anything
Elaine, my DH takes care of the robbers by locking the door himself. I have to keep that little pin handy that unlocks the doors because I'm always getting locked out.
I wish I could come up with something. My DH was a radiologist but setting up a light box with x-rays does not interest him. Never really took time for a hobby.
Thanks Marilyn...I have some drafting stuff. I might play around with things. Thing is, he can't even write two words in a straight line, so I'm dubious about his being able to derive a sense of meaningfulness from anything he could do with a t-square and a pencil.
My hb sorted and kept stuff in and on his desk and rearranged things. Looked things up in his books, made notes. (I peeked; they made no sense.) Packed and unpacked a briefcase w/torn squares of paper, many pens, junk mail, etc. He, also, never had a hobby; now he doesn't do anything except wander around the house like he's looking for something. I ask if I can help him and he always says no. I keep the pantry locked as well as our "mud room" which among other things is the depository for cans of soda which I dole out otherwise he'll open 4-5 cans and leave them partially consume sitting wherever. Only thing he likes to eat is sweet stuff which I understand is the last "taste" to go.
My DH keeps his "valuables" in his pockets. When he was in the shower this morning I emptied his pockets so I could put his dirty jeans in the laundry & lay out a clean pair. He had (this is no exageration) 12 pens in his pockets. He carries so much stuff that his jeans weigh (no exageration again) about 10 pounds. When he takes his jeans off he lays them on the bed & tells me not to take his things. When he comes back he sees his things on the bed, but doesn't realize that i took it all out of his pockets. Zibby, my DH also drinks lots of soda, & if I don't watch him he will also open another can when he can't find the one he just opened. I buy the 12 packs on sale. He drinks diet caffeine free Coke or Pepsi, whichever is on sale. Tomorrow I am going to CVS Pharmacy to buy 6 – 12 packs for $10 (you pay $20 & get a $10 coupon for any store merchandise). I know he really shouldn’t drink so much soda, but like it’s been said here before – what’s it going to do, kill him?
Elaine: Your comment "what's it going to do ..kill him" made me laugh in a strange way. My dh just had his semi-annual physical and the doctor said his cholesetrol was a bit high...I almost laughed...like I am going to worry about that! He has COPD, Heart problems and alzheimers.
mothert--over 30 years ago my husband took flying lessons; I found a sort of brief case in the basement several years ago with some flight maps, a log book, some other stuff in it. Perhaps you could find some of these types of items (Ebay?) or talk to any friends who may have also flown. I know nothing about boats, but perhaps there is similar paraphenalia associated with that?
emily--I would set up the drafting stuff and see what happens. What do you have to lose? I feel the same way about my husband and the accounting thing, but I've got the stuff in the house, might as well try it.
I might add, that what doesn't look straight or make sense to YOU,may make sense and look correct to them. My husband had a yellow pad he kept notes on. Columns of squiggles and dashes. He kept the pad in his magazine rack next to his recliner. He'd search for it and then go over his list making check marks. I have no idea what those squiggle and other odd marks represented, but he did...and he double checked it frequently.