Joan, your blog today made me think how right you are!that we, the 'undiseased' spouse should need to pop antidepressants to get thru this ordeal while caregiving our spouses. I for one, have never taken an antidepressant as I have a great fear of a pill that alters my thinking. i know on the outside it would most likely be in my benefit to take one even at this late stage of the game, but then again the masochistic side of me says i should endure the pain and suffering alongside my DH. My closet is filled with black clothes and for yrs now, i wear black everyday. the excuse has been since i gained lbs black makes us look 'thinner' well i am more certain the black clothing choices reflects the cruel truth of the facts that i am in mourning. a long slow death process that eats at us a bit every day til its over. its just a neverending loss of the person we love. the irony is i will probably start wearing colors again After its all over. no doubt,the mind works in wonderous ways, the healing process has many outlets, and each one of us will deal with it our own way. pills are just part of it too i guess. lots to contemplate here - divvi
My own doctor recently asked me if I needed "something" do deal with the obvious depression and the fact that when she saw me last my blood pressure was through the roof because of anxiety. I didn't take her up on it.
I guess I'm just too scared that the pills will make me less alert.
If they set up Summer Camp for AD patients, my husband is going.
I've been thinking about where I would go if I had a week for respite. At this point he isn't all that bad, but I am a mess. Somewhere quiet, but where they have things to do if I decide I want to. Somewhere where they provide the meals so I don't have to go out to get one, but can walk to the dining room. Somewhere where they have a mixture of customers, some couples but also some single folks and some families so I don't end up watching other people having fun. I've done too much of that in my life. It was the story of my childhood. I don't need to do it now.
The antidepressant Paxil saved the day when I got her doctor to prescribe a minimum dosage to wife M several years ago. It suppressed her violent and verbally abusive mood swings. It didn't "zonk her out". It just moved her back to a peaceful state. For that I am thankful for it would have been a NH otherwise and that would have been financial disaster.
The idea that I the caregiver should take an antidepressant is tinged with extreme personal danger to me. Driving in city traffic after a mind altering pill frightens me. Working with machine tools in my shop or target shooting would be just asking for a bad accident. I don't drink anything stronger than fruit juice either.
One of the first things that happened to me was that my blood pressure shot up. So now I take a diuretic to help control that problem. My Bi-Polar daughter who lives with us is constantly after me to take an antidepressant. I know it would probably help, but my DH's condition is moderate so I'll save the pills for later. I can't really let on how I feel or I get a "pill lecture" from her of all people. Of course I don't let on to my DH. My other daughter and son have their own family's and responsibilities so I don't say much to them either. That's why I finally decided to join this group, you know , you understand. we're all in the same boat and we're not "floating merrily down the stream" we're paddling like H... ! just to stay afloat!!!
The place you describe for yourself for respite is exactly what the Caregiver Cruise is. Go to the dining room if you feel like it; get room service if you feel like it; lie all day in a deck chair if you choose, or go on shore excursions. The one in February is for 4 nights. Just enough time to relax. And the only pills needed are in the form of a patch - seasick patch. Check out the ship in the middle of my home page. You can click the link and see the You Tube slide show.
As for pills making you less alert, that's why I don't take the Xanaax all of the time. It makes me sleepy. I don't think anti-depressants do that. I'm going to try the anti-depressant for HIM first.
My anti-depressent is taking the dogs out for a walk. I have definitely linked many of my bad days to days that I don't get out there walking with them.
Most medication knocks me out and so I have always tried to avoid taking anything unless I have to.
Side affect of his AD for me was a huge rise in blood pressure. That is finally under control with some meds. Walking helps with that too.
If I don't get to walk doing some heavy cleaning will help too.
One of my friends also gave me some terrific advice. She told me to try and do one thing for myself each week (manicure, shopping, movie, lunch with a friend, etc.). That doesn't always happen but it really does help to have something to look forward to each week that is just for me.
DH is on prozac and I take medication to help me sleep and for high blood pressure.I am absolutely exhausted if I don't sleep.I know many of the meds are addictive.I've considered something for depression and been offered by our MD but I am still managing.Its tricky with the anger ourburst, I have to be alert. Today Dh is at the day program.A small respite.
About a year ago my doctor put me on Buproprion (Wellbutrin) because he detected some depression over my wife's condition. I can't see that it has done anything, but I'll stay on it for the present. Last week I started taking my wife to an Adult Day Care center that has just opened here, while I go to the YMCA for some exercise. I had noticed that I was really out of shape since we could not do the walking we used to do. At this point all I can say is that the exercise is giving me sore muscles, but I know things will improve if I stick with it. Fortunately, I don't need any sedatives or tranquilizers for my wife.
I for one know, that if it were not for my Buproprion and my zanax I would be sitting in a corner sucking my thumb and babbling. I work full time besides taking care of my DH. At work they can see such a difference in me since I started taking the pills. I function better, am more alert and better able to handle the day because I can smile thru anything instead of crying at the drop of a hat. Only take the zanax to get a good nights rest so I can deal with everything. DH is also on mild antidepressent as he is home alone while I work(can't afford to put him in daycare 5 days a week). He also seems to feel better about life since he began the pills and he quit talking about dying. So for some of us the valley of the dolls is necessary at least for awhile.
Last year this time, when my husband put the house on the market & it sold in one week, he moved us to an apartment (which I had to find), had to pack up all our belongings, put 2/3 into storage in a big hurry & then the inspection made the house sale fall through. I had chronic diahrea (still do!) & had no energy left. (Some of that was probably from dehydration due to diarhea.) I called my doctor & was told I could have an appointment that week, but I didn't think I would have the energy to make it, so I waited a week. He took one look at me, WOW! He prescibed Lexapro (antidepressant), which at the time was a lifesaver for me. I mean I popped the sample pill into my mouth in his office with no water. Since then, after gaining 30 lbs, I have research SRRIs. Well, I loved it, because after awhile I didn't even know I was unhappy. Problem is, they say you build a tolerance to it after a few years, and it slows your metabolism, hence the weight gain.
Well, what's 30 lbs vs. losing your mind? Each one has side effects & you have to go on sites like this to find the truth through others' experience, rather than what is in the literature.
Sometimes drugs are necessary. I wish I could have done without them. But I don't know what would have become of me were it not for Lexapro. I'm looking forward to the day I can wean myself off. I have never been depressed before my entire life.
Oh mercy..I've laughed over that zanax.. Last year I finally told the doc.at our local clinic that I needed something for anxiety and explained that my husband had early alzheimers, was still driving and wouldn't agree to stop and I was a nervous wreck. So he didn't bat an eye, made some comment about our town being kind to daffy drivers, prescribed the zanax and I take a half when necessary. When absolutely necessary,I take a whole one and it helps.
Recently the prescription expired.. I called the clinic and explained that I needed a refill and was told that I needed to come in for an appt. So I did.. yes, blood pressure is up..and I was asked "Are you depressed?" hahaha.. Well heck yes, who wouldn't be depressed.. This is a depressing situation but its not like I don't KNOW the reason... so the dr. checked my THROAT, declared I have a little thyroid lump and so now I've been referred for testing of this thyroid thing because my symptom is anxiety!! hahahaha.. I'm delirious~!
You know, I didn't remind this doc that a year ago I told him the my husband had alzheimers..so maybe he forgot? yes, maybe he forgot. At least he agreed to refill the zanax.. I kept from coming unglued at the revocation hearing for the driver's license..thanks to that precious half! I don't want to take an anti-depressant because when I'm away from OZ, I'm not depressed! hahaha..oh mercy
Judy, while you certainly have ample reasons to be depressed, depression can be a sign of thyroid disease. Instead of xanax, what you may need is thyroid hormone therapy. The nodule on the thyroid needs to be checked out, to confirm what's going on and what type of therapy is appropriate.
I told my story about depression meds on a previous post but I will briefly retell it.
I have been on and off of antidepressants for many years now. I had resigned myself to the fact that my depression was familial as I really do have a strong history in my family. But as the threat of ALZ reared it's ugly head at the end of 07 and early 08 I came to the realization that much of my unhappiness was not due to my faulty genes but due to a real, honest-to-God disease in my hubby which has dramatically and disastrously affected our marriage. For soooo many years I thought "If I could just not be so tired, anxious, down, sad (etc.etc.etc.) my marriage would be better." I can't count the number of times I was told I was an angry, abusive person by my spouse. For awhile my hubby was researching multiple personality disorded and I truly think he believed I had it! (so many weird things make sense now!) So, In March I decided to wean myself off the Zoloft. I have noticed three things, since then: 1) I feel a wider range of emotions now - yes, even grief and sadness at the slow loss of my hubby, but I know that this is NORMAL and that is is work I must do now, or pay for later. 2) I definitely feel the effects of PMS more strongly (mainly irritability). GRRRRRR! 3) I don't feel depressed!
Now, that's not to say I won't need the Zoloft as things progress with hubby. And, it's not to say that I don't have a genetic component at play here. I plan on taking full advantage of medication in the future if needed. But, I did want to tell others who may be considering antidepressants but who are worried about being cloudy headed that there are different drugs that work for different people. I found that Zoloft did not make me cloudy headed but that Welbutrin did. I also wanted to say that stress actually changes the chemicals in your brain which can cause depression. In otherwords, as an Alzheimer's caregiver, your depression is most likely a chemical imbalance caused by the horrible stress you are under. If that chemical imbalance was due to a lack of insulin, you wouldn't think twice about taking insulin would you?
Sunshyne, yes, I'm going to have it checked in JULY of all things.. Had to wait 4 weeks because I was taking a multivitamin. There is a nagging concern about it but hopefully it will turn out ok. Even so, I realize as Kirsty says, that stress and neverending stress, in particular, gets to us in a variety of ways. If a thyroid pill can make this movie better, I'll sure take it! Since I've always been relatively healthy, this has sort of confronted me with the 'what if I am not able to take care of my husband' issue but thats a different topic and I'd guess that most of us have faced it at times.
I take a low dose of Zoloft. It does not make me cloudy at all. It does keep the tears at bay most of the time. I was exhausted trying to keep from crying all the time. Please be careful with the xannex. It is highly addictive. My DH had a problem with it prior to diagnosis.
Years ago (about 1998) I was given something in the hospital when I had pneumonia because I wasn't able to fall asleep because my mind was racing. They wanted me calmed down. It was part of a very common group of drugs for anxiety. I was so sick (4 days in the hospital, 2 months at home) that I didn't take a note of what the drug was.
I had EVERY side effect from dry mouth to heart palpitations. I'm afraid to take anything for fear that it will be the same drug. The dry mouth was frustrating for someone who already has problems taking pills. The heart palpitations were very scary.
Starling, you should be able to contact the hospital where you got the drug and ask them what it was. The place to call first would be the Medical Records Department. Explain the situation to them and they will direct you in getting the information. The other possibility would be to contact the doctor and ask him/her to look it up.