Here is a copy of the list of the changes since the last time I posted this list. everything after 27 are the new additions. 1. Does not know our address or phone number. 2. Does remember how to answer the phone. 3. Cannot prepare anything to eat. Does eat with no problem. 4. Trouble telling the time. 5. Cannot tell you what day it is or date. 6. Can’t remember 1 minute ago. 7. Puts things where they are safe and never to be seen again. 8. Can’t handle money. 9. No longer knows where the bathroom is in our own home. 10. Has trouble remembering history . (This has been for some time now) 11. Can no longer dress properly half the time. Puts panties on out side of pants. 12. Sometimes I wake up during the night and she is just sitting on the side of the bed. 13. Puts toilet tissue in waste can. 14. Seems able to handle toilet ok but I am but not 100% sure about this now. 15. I remind her to go to the bathroom every couple of hours. 16. Recognizes good friends. 17. Sometimes puts on shoes that do not match or just one shoe. 18. Sometimes sits and rocks. 19. Cries for no reason that I can see. 20. Has trouble remembering what to do when going to the bathroom. 21. Has trouble with all tasks. 22. Loves to see friends and eat out with them. But unable to take part in conversation. 23. Follows me around the house. I think I have become a security blanket. 24. Walking with very short and slow steps and always behind me. 25. Unable to make even a simply choice. 26. Can not follow the simplest of instructions or task. NEW THINGS ADDED: 27. Has trouble with adjusting water temp. 28. Does not remember to use soap when bathing. 29. Does not want to be left along (I think this is a need to feel secure). 30. Sometimes brushes her teeth using her finger as a tooth brush. When I hand her the tooth brush she says “oh goody” and will use it. 31. Does not clean her bottom after going to the bathroom. Forgets to flush the toilet about half the time. I shower with her twice a day to ensure she is good and clean. She really enjoys showering together. 32. When she needs to go to the bathroom she will ask me where to go. If I take her in the bathroom she will then ask me where to pee and when I show her she will point to the toilet and ask me if that is it .If the lid is down she will not recognize it either. 33. Has started to have problem cutting food. 34. Now has trouble getting leg or arm in correct side.
I know longer talk to Kathryn about the Alzheimer’s because I think we would have to have the same discussion every day and it would only upset her every time. I do not see what would be gained by that. I wish there was some way I could better help Kathryn deal with all this? I just don’t know what to do to help her emotionally to deal with it. Maybe is better to just hug her and let her cry? All I can do now is give her a hug and tell her it’s ok to cry. I remind her we are both a couple of wimp and we both cry at the movies all the time and it makes her laugh a little but a few minutes later she may be crying again. I hate seeing her upset like this. Do you think she is crying because the part of her brain that controls it has been affected and not because see is upset. Is that possible. She can’t tell me why she is crying most of the time.
She still loves seeing our friends and going out to eat. She has not had a problem with incontinence yet. She does have more trouble talking because she has trouble finding the words. I have to guess most of what she is trying to say.
Kathryn does not seem to be having any physical problems other than walking very slow.
Kathryn has always remained the same sweet person she has always been during all of this. She has not had one day where she has acted mean to anybody. She still loves to go out to eat and go to the movies (but it is becoming harder to do). I worry the whole time is in the bathroom so I ask her to us the bathroom before we leave home. This works out well most of the time.
That's very similar. I'm a little ahead of you. My wife doesn't cry. She blocks it out. Also I have her on a 75mg anti depressant which she has been on for several years. I wonder if something like that might help.
I agree with Wolf K, that maybe a bit of antidepressant might help. My DH was on Paxil and many of our Dh's & Dw's are also. Check with you doctor. Your patience is amazing, she is a lucky woman to have you. All of you men deserve a big round of applause, so take a bow :o)
I'm new to this site so if I say something inappropriate I'm sorry. Your list could almost be mine. The only realy difference is that my DW won't socialize anymore. We happened to have our normal DR visit today and he did increase her meds. We'll see if it helps.
I could have written your list, a few months ago. but now, DH is incontinent also. Unfortunately, for me, showering doesn't happen, not twice a day, or once a day, or once a week, or..... well, you get it. Sponge baths have een the order of the day for sometime, and with him being incontinent (urine) I am contantly concerned about rashes, as well as odor. but, one thing you said struck a chord. He still uses the bathroom during the day, but has to ask me where it is (we've lived here 11 years). last night he went in, and then called me because he didn't know how to do it. does that belong in the all righty thread.?
Oh, Chris, I'm facing the same thing; dh wanders into the bathroom and stands in front of the toilet as if to say, "Now how do I work this?" Sometimes I can get him to sit down on the toilet. If he's having a BM it helps to call his attention to the paper, then sometimes he will actually use it. Tonight he was up THREE times in the night soaking wet. His feet and ankles were swollen and now they no longer are, it's as if his body has suddenly given up all the fluid it had been retaining. The first time he wandered into the kitchen and set off the burglar alarm, so that I had to call the security firm and tell them not to come out, after that I locked us into the bedroom, so when I woke up he was standing beside the bed, at a complete loss what to do. He was willing to take off his wet depends and pajama jacket, but what a struggle to get the wet undershirt off. Finally found his favorite T shirt and then he finally took the wet one off, by that time shivering over his whole body. Quick change of pad and sheet and back to bed, reluctantly, but asleep within moments. I'm letting him sleep in this morning although we had a New year's reception to go to. Oh, well, there'll be other years.
..so you see, Jim, the list just gets longer and longer. I agree with the suggestion for a bit of an SSRI for probably both of you. Both my husband and I take generic zoloft (Sertraline) and I think it helps us endure what is basically unendurable. Just a bit of a cushion.
Mine is bedridden, mostly incontinent but our CNA seems to have mostly trained him to poop when put on the commode, which is done twice a day.. but almost completely silent except when he moans and groans and curses while being handled. His hand motor skills are decreasing though he still can feed himself some; his appetite is still good. he can no longer use the chopsticks he persisted in using fastidiously until a month or two ago.
Thank you all for the input, I called the doctor and she has started Kathryn on anti depressants to help with the crying and being upset.
KY caregiver, Hospice has put her at full stage 6 (she went from early stage 5 to full stage 6 in about 3 or 4 months). She is stage 6 but I don't know about the full stage 6 But they are more knowledgeable about the stages than I am.
Jerry, That is great advice. Now that you said that I realize there really is no reason to continue list the decline she has pretty much declined to stage 6. I think I will do as you say and start listing all she can and be happy she can.
I am so thankful for the things my DH can do, my heart goes out to some of you, at the later stages, things get worse, not better, and I know that is where I am going to be at some point. I
This is an interesting topic..I think it is a good thing to list what our LOs CAN still do...it will also enlighten us as to what they can't do now. I am finding that I am having to do more and more and more. For instance, my DH would make something for his breakfast or lunch. But Lately, I would say since before Christmas..maybe even as far back as Thanksgiving, he started to say " don't worry about me..I'll get something for breakfast or lunch" only to find out later he ate nothing and as a diabetic he has to eat something when taking insulin so as to keep his blood glucose levels from falling... Off the top of my hat and without thinking too deeply about this my list of what he CAN do I would say:
1. get up 2. get dressed ( but forgets or refuses to comb his hair, brush his teeth, change to his new laid out clothes) 3. take his med ( but I have to sit and make sure he gets them all) 4. read the paper and magazines. 5 watch the TV and turn it on and off. ( but heaven help us if the power goes off..I have to reset it). 6. he is good with numbers. math is very strong. 7. go to bed. 8. get up and go to the loo at night without help.
I guess the list of what he cannot do is going to be a long one too...
1. Get up. 2. Get dressed with my help. 3. BM on toilet after my help to sit (I have to clean her). 4. Wash her hands with my help. 5. Take her medications with my help. 6. Eat with encouragement. 7. Go to bed with my help.
At the moment, I can't think of much else that she can do.
My DH can: 1. Get up multiple times during the night. 2. Unroll most of the TP and make small squares. 3. Clean the sink with his toothbrush. 4. Shave off his eyebrows. 5. Hide his medication. 6. Read some of the words in the paper to me at breakfast. 7. Sweep the salt off the driveway and sidewalk that we paid to have put down. 8. Fool most people into thinking he knows them.
Thanks friends. Listing the CANs is great and shorter, goes along though with "count your blessings, name them one by one" my 2nd favorite next to That Darn Disease.
Jerry, it sounds like our wives are at about the same stage.
Phil4:13, I was amazed when I saw that your wife makes little squares out of toilet paper. So does mine.
Here is the rest of Kathryn's "Can Do List".
1. Get up. 2. Walk unassisted (not stairs). 3. Watch TV (If I put it on the channel she likes). 4. Get dressed with my help. 5. BM on toilet after I raise the lid if it is down (I have to clean her). 6. Wash her hands with my help. 7. Take her medications with my help (Requires instruction each time). 8. Go to bed when I go. 9. Brush her teeth after I put the paste on the brush. 10. Go out to eat with friends. 11. Go to the movies (We have always done this every Friday). 12. Look at the news paper.
What IS it with t p? My husband would make not single squares, but about eight at a time folded together. And then about eight little piles lined up on the windowsill by the toilet. Since he stopped going into the bathroom and tending himself, my purchase of toilet tissue has gone down by 3/4!!
What can my husband do? Yell loudly when being handled and smile sweetly if I kiss him. And feed himself everything but his yogurt (he does fine with ice cream)!
TP, kleenex, napkins, and paper towels.......anything that's paper will be folded and laid everywhere or handed to guests "in case they need them". My SIL called me laughing after we had been there for a 3 day visit. She said "I won't forget you've been here". Everytime she picked up a kleenex box, nicknack or lamp there was a pile of neatly folded paper.