You have come to a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". There are 4 sections for EOAD members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD (early onset AD). There is a great section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide. You can go to the top of this page, click on "search", and type in EOAD, making sure the "topic" circle is filled in. All of the EOAD discussions will come up - there are about a dozen of them.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
When you feel comfortable doing so, please tell us about yourself and your wife, so we can get to know you.
Hello! I’m one of those individuals who has been visiting different forums/blogs reading about Alzheimer’s for the past 2 years. In the past few weeks I have gathered the courage, or reached the point, where I want to discuss my DW conditions.
My DW has exhibited DAT for the past 3 years. About a year ago after visiting numerous doctors. DW doctor suggested that my DW could have a type of DAT. She recommended additional testing, but my DW refused any type of discussion about DAT. My MIL died at 71 after 2 years of DAT symptoms and it scared the heck out of my DW. In my mind, I had little doubt that she had DAT (a lot of hope that I was wrong.)
Until August, DW continued to struggle at a stage 2/3 level. However, that all changed last August when DW went from a stage 2/3 to stage 5/6. In about 6 weeks DW went from driving a vehicle, getting around just fine, to not understanding how to put the key in the ignition and requiring 24 hour care. Talk about a wakeup call.
Due to her condition, DW was hospitalized for 28 days in October/November. The doctors treated her for depression, and I must say they did an outstanding job. At least at that time, she is starting to slip back into depression. She came home just before Thanksgiving.
The medication DW is on has helped her significantly. She still requires 24 hour care, but she can now recognize her family. For a couple of days in November, she didn’t. The doctors now believe that she has Pick’s disease.
DW is 51 years old, I’m 53 years old. We have been married for 32 years. We have two children, a daughter 27 and a son 24. Our son still lives at home, going to school full-time, and our daughter lives within 10 minutes of us. Both of them want to be my DW full time CG. I’ve been insistent that they can be her full time companion, but someone else needs to provide care (particularly personal care, toileting, etc). I have a CG, come in while I’m at work (5am to 6pm), Monday – Thursday and a few hours on Friday. Enough time for me to get some errands done.
That about sums it up.
Wow, I’ve talked/written more about DW condition today than I probable have ever done. Other than with my kids.
Welcome aalferio, I am glad that you were finally comfortable enough to share with us. We learn from each other and I am sure the male spouses well be very happy to have your imput, as well as the rest of us of course. This is a hard journey for all of us and I think that the experiences (combined) help us all to get through it with as much dignity for us and our LO's as possible. My DH has VaD and this month will make 2 years since dx. I am so sorry that things are progressing so quickly, it must be really hard to keep up with.
welcome aalferio. Glad you have found us. I think most everyone of us that has an AD spouse has as the official diagnosis 'Dementia of the Alzheimer's Type' since it can yet to be diagnosis until death. We all tend to just shorten it to Alzheimer's disease and for get the official term but DAT is second easiest to type, AD is easiest.
Welcome aalferio! Glad you are feeling comfortable enough to chime in but sorry for the situation that caused you to be here. This site has been a lifesaver for many of us and you will find so much support here. Open 24/7 and filled with loving new friends.
Welcome aalferio! Sorry you have to be here, but since you do it is a good place to be. We all understand & will listen when you quietly ask questions or when you scream in frustration. We have all been there done that or will shortly. Come back often, you're family now!
Sorry you've had to join us but know that this is a great sight to learn how to care for your DW and to have a listening ear. No one judges. We're all in the same sinking boat.
Yes, I believe Marsh is correct. DAT is Dementia of the Alzheimer's Type. Richard Taylor, Ph.D refers to his AD the same way. When patients are young, doctor's are so reluctant to call it dementia or Alzheimer's Disease, but when pressed, they say Dementia, probably of the Alzheimer's Type. I believe Pick's Disease is a form of Frontal Lobe Dementia.
Welcome aalferio, you will find much info, comfort, learn from other's journeys here. Sorry you're dealing with this disease at so young an age. My DH was dx'd at 58 2 years ago- first with DAT then later with FTD (the behavioral variant). This website has been godsend and has helped me thru the darkset times in the beginning and it continues to provide support that I cannot find elsewhere. If your DW has Picks, you may also want to check out www.ftd-picks.org.
Welcome to the Family, aalferio!, you have landed among the most compassionate group of caregivers that you could ever hope to find. Ask and we will respond, Arms around, Susan* PS: My Husband passed away 10 months ago today from FTD, so I do understand. He was 63.
Thanks everyone for your kind words. Pick's disease is part of the FTD group. However, I'm not sure it really matters much, the symptons are not much different..
Susan L* your picture sums up how I feel. Not only am I losing the love of my life, but my best friend for 33+ years.
Welcome, aalferio. Having just read your posting on another discussion thread describing where your wife is at, you probably have now come to realize that you have reached the best site there is for spouses like us. We all support each other, try to provide helpful information, and Joan's site somehow helps us all deal a little better with what is on our collective plates. Her daily blogs are right on point, so definitely look back over them. Sorry to have to welcome you aboard, but you have definitely come to the right place for spouses as we struggle though this AD experience.
Hi & Welcome aalferio, I am so sorry for your need for this forum, however, I am glad you found us. I am sure you will find kindness & comfort from everyone. My husband also suffers from FTD, his symptoms started at 50...he is now 60. Due to behavior problems I placed him in ALF last March.