The weather channel showed a comparison of the massive flooding in Australia to the US. The flooded areas would cover from the Mississippi River to the western boundaries of the east coast states, from Canada down to the Gulf. that is a HUGE area to be underwater.
We have a few here from Australia - I pray you are not in the flooding areas.
Got an email from my hb's niece. She is the guardian for her mom. She was diagnosed in 2005 at age 55 (3 years younger than hb). When we were there in June for their dad's funeral she lived in her own apartment but her daughter said they were looking for a place so she could live with them cause she was starting to wander. Her daughter calls her every morning to wake her up, take her pills and go down for breakfast then at night to take pills and go to bed. Niece said they are looking for a nursing home for her, probably next month. I told my hb and he started crying saying if he could go anywhere he wanted to go see his sister. He had forgotten we were just there in June until I said we saw her in June when we went back for his dad's funeral. I am kind of basing how fast/slow my hb will progress by his sister. I definitely do not want him to last as long as their dad - 25 years. I think her trigger was after their mom suddenly died in 2001. I think she was further along than hb when diagnosed - her daughter said it took 3 years for her to agree to see a doctor.
That was my 'excitement' for the day. Oh except the people across from us in the park brought home a 'new' for them MH - it was a 1987 but about 10 years younger and 5 feet longer than their current one. Real nice inside for that old of an RV.
Well my plans for DH went by the wayside. Yesterday he said he wanted to get a haircut. I said I have my 1030 hike ( first time since my PT and it went well I am happy to report) so I would get him up earlier and he needed to shower first( they don't get their hair washed at the barber shop and he always washed his hair first). He gets up and comes out dressed! I asked did you take your shower? No I'll take it later. I said I need to get you to the barber before my hike time so you need to get it done. I go back, make the bed and he comes back, sits on his chair and I guess looks out the window or something. I said the bathroom is ready for you..I'll get in the shower he says. But he continues to sit there. I asked what are you doing? No answer. Then he gets up and starts to leave and I ask if he is going to shower...he says later...well he didn't. So no barber shop trip today. Tomorrow he has a lunch date with a buddy. He thinks I should go along but I told him it is a guy lunch. He MUST take a shower and I am going to whisper to our friend to see if he can get him to the barber shop..
Here is something else, I had an appointment yesterday with the lawyer and I was gone more than 2 hours. DH is ok alone. He just sits and watches tv.. When I came home the house reeked. It was not something that he tried to cook, he can use the microwave with no problems so nothing was burned, it was not the cat box and there was nothing left in the garbage disposal or trash can that would cause this. It was DH himself..his hair, I open doors and windows to air it all out but this showering thing is starting to be a problem. He thinks because he doesn't do anything to get dirty that he isn't dirty. I told him everyone, especially if they have oily skin and hair needs to shower more often. How do I tell him that he needs to hit the rainroom because he looks like the Unibomber and smells like a skunk. If he knows he has a doctor appt he will willingly get in the shower, shave and doll up otherwise it is a fuss. I am ready to move me out of the bedroom. I don't know if that would have an impact at least for the present or not. Any suggestions? I got my hair cut today and I think I am going to make an appt for him to get his hair cut at the salon now since he would get his hair washed at the same time and I could maybe get him there before his hair gets too stinky. The kids and some of his friends want me to get skype so they can see him when they talk to him. I am not so sure I want to do that! Appearance notwithstanding I wonder if that is a good idea at all.
Mimi - you might think about getting the waterless shampoo. I think it is like foam you rub in then dry their head. It has been a while so I forget exactly .
Mimi, We do the Skype thing with our kids. DH will sit there a while and wave to our grandson but really does not interact otherwise. But if I pull up a picture of our grandson on the screen any other time he will wave and talk to him.....go figure. He doesn't connect pictures with the actual people... I was showing him some Christmas pictures we took and he would ask who each person was.....including me. Skype is good for your family to see what is going on though. They usually need a reality check so that they will know what to expect when they see him in person.
Mimi said, "He thinks because he doesn't do anything to get dirty that he isn't dirty." My hb's sentiments exactly. I've used the spray shampoo/soap I bought at med supply store. Hair still doesn't look good. Provided adult wipes. Now I've had to hire a male CNA to take care of this as hb won't cooperate w/me. Other threads here address same problem.
Sub-freezing here today; we've canceled usual go-to-coffee-w/a-friend Fri. a.m. appt.
this may be strange but in my opnion incontience i can come to terms with but the non bathing i could not. i got a few whiffs of what an unbathed human can smell of at times during my journey and its not a pretty picture. it may be time to consider a health aide to help get them into the shower if all else fails. its one of the major issues we have to contend with besides the driving. bathing.. and its a duzzy to have to work around. many of us have found that they resist at first but succumb eventually under the guidance of professionals who can get the job done. i know i had lots of issues with bathing during mid stages and when the aides came he got in with out all the normal fighting and gradually became receptive to another bathing him. it was harder on me delegating that job.:) now its a blessing!
Just shows you how different each patient is. My hb will NOT allow any of the aides to help him shower--only me. He still resists, but I've cut down to the minimum and give him an extra pill about an hour before. Today I may try suggesting hairwashing first, instead of last--perhaps this will help. Normally, by the time we get to his hair, he has had it!
if you had skype, and he likes it, he can't call unless he's cleaned up. Doesn't want the kids to see him messy.. the odor would screw up the connection, whatever...
Got the skype thing going this morning and talked to the kids in Iceland. DH was just amazed. At first I think he thought they were in the kitchen with us..kindasorta...I put the computer across the table because of the feedback but it worked and the lighting was great..They have had such gloomy weather they asked me to take the computer outside since it is sunny and warm here..so I did..and took them around the house and they also got to see Cookie the cat they could not take with them..they loved that, and they saw Cookie's room yes she has the guest room for now since she has claws and cannot be left out in the house at night and because I have another cat and they don't get on well yet..
Was a beautiful sunny day. The big event - the famous and largest RV show in the US (I think largest as far as attendance) started today. We walked the mile over there and back, plus the walking around. We had a great time - enjoyed the whole thing. Bought us these huge waffle cones before heading back - yummy.
It was so amazing to stand on the overpass, look out across the desert landscape and see miles and miles of RV's in all directions. I am so glad I decided to do it this year. Despite the repeating, I have so enjoyed the whole time down here. Art's mood seems much better even when he is bored. And if nothing else, we are getting our exercise. I try to do a walking every other day - every day seems too much for him unless just a short walk to keep loose. And because there is no big grocery store here, I don't snack as much. Haven't lost any weight that I can tell, but my ability to walk long distances has improved, as has his. Best of all we are not sore after all that walking.
I googled it to. I found this explanation on a vet website -- A dab of vanilla extract on the noses of all the cats makes everyone smell alike. It confuses the cats, and they chill out!
CommentAuthorPhranque :] :)CommentTimeJan 3rd 2011 Deb...my paper plate is not very sturdy at all...but I throw it out often, and start fresh with a new one...got a lot on that plate, but at least I can toss it ,and find a new plate as often as possible.,.,
I have just joined and I love this, in fact it might even help me feel better today. Going to throw my paper plate out right now. Thanks PHranque.
Welcome to our phantastic phunny dysPHUNctional Phamily. I am sure you will be greeted ophphicially, but I am honored to be the first to say welcome. You will find this site immensely beneficial, and it will keep you supported during your trip in the dark tunnel of AD. I suggest that you open a new discussion, and then post a bit about yourself, and you will be impressed by the amount of loving and caring that you will receive. We keep each other from having 2 victims suffer from the disease, and I usually offer completely useless advice, much as the doctors do, but I do not charge medicare for any of it.
I shaved hb, laid out clean clothes and wipes for him in preparation for readying himself for church while I got myself ready. (He continues to refuse showers hence I've hired an outsider to help w/that.) Had a "discussion" when he wouldn't cooperate; so we stayed home. I went into the other room to read (calming Scripture). Shortly he came out and said, "I'm ready to go." Me: Where? He: Where you said we were going. His attire: tennis shoes sans socks, long johns over dirty briefs, long-sleeved undershirt, belt around waist. The observant reader may note I didn't mention shirt or slacks. Daughter has said someone in her family will stay w/him Sunday mornings if I'd like. I think we're at that point.
Oh, boy! Next Sunday, call in your support team and get thee to church, minus DH. You paint a vivid picture, Zibby. It reminds me of visiting my mother when she was in her late 80's and was living on a large, heavily-wooded acreage near the ocean. I got up early one morning, went out onto the back porch and was inhaling the wonderful scents of cedars and salt water when I saw, through the trees, the man who lived next door. "Hey, Mom," I called, "the man next door is out in his garden and he doesn't have any clothes on." "Not a pretty sight," said my mother.
Regarding church - took my wife to church this morning. She kept chattering through the whole service. I couldn't keep her quiet, so I didn't get much out of the service. I'm going to look into getting someone to stay with her at home while I go alone.
I had been commenting on the fact that she has not been incontinent of feces for a long time. SO, today, after brunch, she said she "had to go". By the time I got her to the toilet she had a LARGE stool in her depends.
So far we've been able to get to church OK but I see the day is coming soon when that won't be possible. He is usually OK there but will go hunting for me all over when I am right there in front of him at Sunday School. Everyone knows the situation so they will direct him back downstairs. It is AFTER church that he gets really crabby. Today at lunch with friends he made some nasty remarks to me while I was trying to help him get his place cleaned up. Everyone just gave me that "we feel bad for you" look. I felt bad too but also felt bad that he is so frustrated at times that he has to be that way.
Cloud, welcome to the forum. lots of good people to help you stay sane thru this horrible ordeal with AD/dementia. you can go back and read various topics and find lots of info or start your own topic. divvi
Welcome, Cloud. I've only been a member a short time and I have found much comfort here already. I'm sure you will also. You have found a place where you can share your fears, feeling, etc, and you don't have to worry about it. We understand.
The destroyer hit our powder room one more time. G fell again and broke the handicap toilet..the THIRD one he has broken. There are very conveniently placed sturdy grab bars in there, but he can't seem to use them. Talk about a mess! Water and ceramic clear out to the family room. I am so damned sick of this..and the bloody cost of the toilets! I told him that he has gone to the bathroom alone for the last time! It doesn't seem to phase him...but our caregiver might not be so pleased on Tuesday.
Phil4:13, I would hate for you to have to stop attending church or Sunday School. A firend of mine was telling me this week that she was in the same spot - her DH would go on and on inappropriately and she was going to have to give up SS. Her doctor perscribed Seroquel and she said it has worked wonderfully. She only gives it before church or similar outings when she needs her DH to behave, or she knows he might become agitated.
Thank you all for your warm welcome. I feel like chopped liver today, I will vent later after work. Somehow I must gather strength and work. You all go throgh so much, I'm so sorry.
Another beautiful day here in the SW. My hb still surprises me when he remembers things. In one way I think the traveling has a plus in that he has to keep his mind building new memories since he remembers how to get around after a week or so. But, he still remembers much.
Had an interesting conversation with my daughter-in-law this morning. Her and my son are separated but she still tells me we will be a part of her and the kids life. She told me she had been researching Alzheimer's. Like many she thought it was just a 'memory' problem but now realizes it is not and what we are facing. She asked me if I had 'ICE" in my phone and I told her I had Art but needed to change or add someone else. She asked if I would add her cause she would like to know if something should happen to me. I told her I also need to have our DPOA changed removing my sister as second in line for hb and first for me cause after her stroke I don't trust her to do what our wishes would be. And it has to be someone that can handle finances for Art's care if I am not around. She said something like 'I know I am not good with money but I will respect your wishes as for medical care'. She really surprised me that she had been researching it. Something my own daughter or son will not do.
Another sunny beautiful day. I went to the chiropractor here in town and feel better. The stress goes to my shoulders and neck which pulls everything out. When I got in the car to leave I had a moment where I wanted to take off and not turn back. It was the first time in 2 months I have gone anywhere, even to laundromat, without hb. I had no where to go but back home - hazards of small town. Now to go do laundry! :-(
DH had a nice day. He went to lunch with a pal..one I normally attend with him. It was a group of avi8tors that get together once a month for lunch and a speaker or movie or both..I had time to get some windows washed and start in the guest room, sorting and tossing stuff that is easiest to toss when he is not here to want to see each photo that needs to go, you know the ones of friends in Christmas cards that go back several years.. I ask myself the question " If I had to move would I want to pay to move this? If the answer is no it goes. Some success today. Oh and DH recalled the theme of the lecture today!
Slowly trying to get my life together again. Emotions run the gamut from sadness, anger, to remembering the good and happy times with my son. I have DH back on his "regular" routine now and he is also improving, however slowly. There was so much turmoil over the past month, I'm surprised he survived it without going completely bonkers! I'm surprised I did.
2010 was a nightmare for me and very, very stressful, with going through the double organ transplants, losing my mother,then losing my son. 2011 has to be better. I hope it is for all of us.
Last week I hoped to focus on the positive. How little I knew about "the future" even the next day. I'm still trying to find positive but -
Scottie had leg surgery on Tuesday which meant that I had sole responsibility ;for his care which included shoveling place for him outside. Knee surgery recovery much like people's. But Tues PJ also had 2 scheduled doc appts. He woke up with problems and we only made 1 appt. That doc says he has ENV which is a skin disintegration disease maybe linked to congestive heart failure and his legs have open weeping wounds. He recommended leg wrap by specialist Wound Care Center personnel. That means difficulty in taking shower which is already major problem. Searching for a primary physician since I never know which specialist to call - is the problem urology, cardio, pulmanary, I don't know! Called geriatric doc that we were to see in month and said Please Now. At PJ's age, diet changes not easy nor necessarily going to produce much change at this point. They moved it to Mon. Thank goodness. PJ used walker for one of few times voluntarily to see doc on Tues. He did biopscy on skin problems for both of us - verif of results not received yet although expectation is that we both have problem to be removed. I can schedule him, but me - that's a bigger problem. Who drives me? Who takes care of Scottie and PJ? Drats. Then we got 7-8 inches of snow. Who shoveled the driveway? Who shoveled paths for taking the dog outside? Who lifts dog up and down since he's not to jump or use back leg? Last nite, he sat in my lap 2-4 am with pain. Smile, Mother that's what we do. Bah. I want my partner to share and it's not possible. Went to grocery on Tues for emergency supplies, lost electricity and ended up throwing away bunch of food including what I just bought. We got so cold! PJ is again under the covers 2nite even tho heat back on after 24 hrs. I just want someone to talk too. It's so lonesome when we have only ourself and not able to start over yet.
NancyJ sounds like you have had the week from hell friend. bad enough with caring for AD spouse much less doggy surgery and freezing temps loss of electricity and skin biopsy- surely things need to get better. sending you a ray of sunlight . :) yes it gets very lonely when its just 'us' -- divvi
I have heard about the next storm headed this way too. Sure wish they would be wrong but I doubt it. Oh well, off to the grocery store tomorrow and ready for round 10 or 50 or whatever it is. At least we have not lost power during any of these storms. Hope that didn't jinx us.
This afternoon I had some "me" time. While my sister stayed with my wife I went with another couple from our retirement Inn to see Gilbert&Sullivan's "Ruddigore". They did a really good job. This was the first time I have been to a G&S show without my wife. She and I have seen every show they wrote except one, which no one does because it is too expensive - large cast and complicated scenery. Tomorrow I have hired a woman to stay with my wife while I go to the Adult Forum and worship service at our church. She can't handle the stairs necessary to get from the forum to the sanctuary, and chatters all through the service.
Dh fell yesterday, I think it was the first time. We had been to his favorite riverside restaurant with another couple for afternoon coffee and went for a walk along the river afterwards. Dh and his friend were walking up ahead and friend could not get him turned around to come back to the car. Finally he did, but we had really walked too far by that time. I noticed that dh was plowing ahead and had a very bitter, determined look on his face. At that point I should have caught them up and taken his hand as I usually do when walking, but I was having a good time chatting with MY friend and didn't realize how bad it was. By the time we got back to the parking lot DH was almost running and all stooped over. It was as if he was in a panic to get to the car. There was an incline down to the lot and dh seemed to lose control of his feet, till he was running fast (he never runs). Then he slipped and fell on the gravelly road, scraping his temple and knee. My friend and I had to hold him up while DF got the car. His heart was beating like mad and that was what scared me most. But by the time we got home he was calm, let us clean the scrapes. Then he ate, held ice on his face while he watched TV and went to bed early. This morning he seemed fine, did not seem to be hurting anywhere but remembered the fall. Yes, he said, that was awful. Yes, it was. We were lucky. I wonder if DFs will want to go on any more outings with us.
I finally had time to put away the handful of Christmas decorations and small artificial tree I had put up yesterday. Now it's time to awaken DH and brace myself for a two hour commute to daycare and work, in yet another snow storm. I will also have another two hours in the car on the way home too, as it is supposed to last all day. Of course, that's if I manage to get out of the driveway.