I have been reading and following this thread for 1 ½ years now. Absorbing as much as I could remembering probably not as much as I should have. I have been trying not to make the dreadful call to the PHP for Hospice. But through the silent encouragement I have received from all you kind and sharing folks I made call to the PCP. She contacted in-house hospice & palliative care who came yesterday w/Doctor ( Corporate Medical Dr,) and social worker, spent 2 ½ hours with DW, and before they left said she was Approved . I spent 1 hour reading and agreeing to everything, and they left. They said they would return next week with a complete team, to finalize and determine my needs, and lay out a plan for the future. Like so many of you, I am a 77 yr. old male taking care of a 74 yr old DW, of 55 years. , had no knowledge of what the future really held. And still don’t, but am learning from more error than trial. Have also been diagnosed with the beginning of dementia, knowing what my DW, MIL, @ BIL and a bro. are now, or have gone through, I wanted a head start to the future, so I took the cognitive test, and damn, guess what I didn’t want to know, YEP!. EOAD(I guess that’s what they call it). Sorry for the motor mouth, but last time I tried to post on here, I got eaten up, because I didn’t know the terms or technical jargon that all you guys know. I got shell shock and never posted again. I really think this is a problem a lot of new comers have and a lot don’t know how to spell or express themselves. I would like to thank everyone on this thread for enabling me to really know without any sugar coating what was and is now is ahead of me.
Hi Harveyt...sounds like you have been doing a great job caring for your wife! From what you are describing....not EOAD but maybe MCI. Mild Cognitive Impairment. Google it and you will see....it does not always progress to full blown AD. I am assuming that you had these tests performed by neurological professionals.
Please let us know how you are and how we can support you.
scs, thank you for your prompted reply, Don't know how to start a post.Test were done by generiatric Specialialist in Dementia. however don't really care about my diagnoses, just want to stay around long enough to make it as easy and caring as I know for my DW would make it for me, and than i'll be ready. If by the time she leaves me, I feel i was able to give her more then she could have given for me, I'll know and feel that i gane 200%, and I'll leave happy.
Forgive me as I'm really having a Bad time right now, I never knew big boys could cry. *I hear a cristmas song and I cry, my Dw falters, I cry.I have many childred and grown grandkids, but nobody believes DW has a probum, "I'm exeraging, theirs nothing serious wrong", See what they say when I finally tell them she's now with hospice,Still don;t they'll believe me.
Sorry, Guess I'm having another Bad night. Plus in June I lost the closest, knowledgable, supporting, experanced friend and SIL i had, and this botherts me as much as the Alz. She didn't expire, she just dropped out of my life.
Sorry harveyt for your loss of the SIL. They do it and do not realize how much they are hurting you.
Please do not worry about venting here, correct spelling, wrong jargon and do not take it personally when someone corrects it. this is a hard journey with a tremendous amount of learning to do. I have been reading and learning over 2 years and still get it wrong. My husband has EOAD which Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease - that is what they call it when they are under 65. His younger sister was diagnosed at 55 but started symptoms at 50.
Please stay with us because as you have found you will get support and knowledge AND you can vent all you want.
Your DW must be a very loving and lovely woman to have such a caring husband. You sound like a wonderful man and I'm pleased to meet you. Please find some comfort knowing everyone here understands what you are going through.
I, too, am sorry about your SIL. I've had a similar experience. My dear friend of over 20 years is trying to shake me. I'm letting it happpen. I'd rather not have her remember me as being too needy. I do love her and will miss her terribly. As I know you are missing your SIL.
Good night, Harvey. Try and get a good night's sleep.
Harveyt - No one knows all the jargon and technical terms when they first start on this journey--we all learned the same way, by trial and error and sometimes by guess and by golly. There is no absolute right and wrong way to do anything--only what gets you through the day. It sounds like you have been doing well by our wife, all we can do is the best we can do. I, too, am elderly, married by school sweetheart, so I know what a long-term marriage is like. You will find comfort and safety here. You express yourself very well.
Harveyt - you sound like a lovely man, and I am so sorry you found you had MCI. Tt's hard enough looking after your DW without the extra worry about yourself, and you wouldn't be human if you didn't worry, especially after haveing seen it first hand. My DH has lost his three daughters because of this terrible disease, they don't want to know about him now, and he has been a terrific dad to them. It is very hurtful and he gets very down about it when he remembers, he doesn't always remember thank goodness.
Harveyt we all weren't born smart. We quickly learned that if we didn't read and research we couldn't take care of our loved ones. The medical community for the most part doesn't seem to care. They can't cure dementia. Here on Joan's site we share what we are learning, what works and what doesn't. Spelling and grammar don't count. No tests or homework. Well actually there is homework. Just reading the posts will help tremendously. Come back often and let us help you.
Harveyt. you sound like such a loving, caring person. Your wife is blessed to have you. I've found more help here than anywhere else and think you will also. Wishing you the best as you travel this journey along with the rest of us and our loved ones.
Harvey t...You need to update your email address in your profile..Just click on account, and personal information...I sent you an email, but your address is no longer valid....
harveyt, I'm glad you posted so we can welcome you here. I hope you will find the hospice folks to be of tremendous help to you, as most of us who have been/are involved with them do. Your wife is very blessed to have a devoted caregiver.