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    • CommentAuthorFayeBay*
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2010 edited
     
    There has been a lot going on. I'll try to sum it up here.
    • CommentAuthorZibby*
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2010
     
    What trauma for both of you to endure. I agree with your decisions. Wonder how many other residents the VA is draining life from.
    • CommentAuthorFayeBay*
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2010 edited
     
    He fell last night. Landed on his rump,
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      CommentAuthorJudithKB*
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2010
     
    OH MY...what an ordeal you have had....you are being a good caregiver an wife and it sounds like you are making all the right decisions.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2010
     
    Fayebay yours is the story we all have nightmares about placement. hospice should be able to help you make his time left comfortable and easier on you both. can you liquify and puree different foods with a blender and or food chopper use a straw and or add 'thicket' to curtail choking?? you can make them like baby foods and probably freeze for easier access. i think you did the right thing having him brought home under the circumstances. what dreadful care but in defense of the VA i do know there are some places that have shown the ability to care well for their patients. i guess the bad goes with the good. my best to you and your DH.
    divvi
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      CommentAuthormoorsb*
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2010
     
    This sounds extremely painful for you and for him. I wish this on no one. I hope that he will have peace soon and not have to deal with the ravages that this disease brings upon us.
    • CommentAuthorFayeBay*
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2010 edited
     
    divvi, there are no close dementia units near here so they found this one.
  1.  
    FayeBay - my husband drinks with a straw the same way. He still does ok with food, it is liquids that make him choke. His liquids are thickened but as you say, once he gets the suction through the straw started, he just keeps going until the glass is empty. I too "control" the straw and take it away if he is drinking too fast. We were very lucky and the facility he is in takes wonderful care of him. He is always neat, clean and clean shaven. Hope things look up for your soon.
    • CommentAuthorbriegull*
    • CommentTimeDec 11th 2010
     
    Oh, you poor baby!! This certainly is a cautionary tale for us.
    • CommentAuthorjoyful*
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2010
     
    i am so sorry the contracted NH was not only inept, but appears to be a throwback to the horrible homes that existed so long when supervision was absent and no one accountable .
    I m yse lf had terrible experiences wi th private NH's but i finally was fortunate enough to place my DH in a VA home that had recently added a dementia wing. They were wonderful to him and he lived there for five years before he died. THe VA h omes have more supervision and a commission that one can always appeal to.At lease it is that way in MIssouri/

    you might want to contact your state representative to see if the NH can be investigated.These private NH's quite often are operated as cheaply as possible to give the owners as much profit as they can wring from the number of beds.You are a wonderful wife and I applaud your efforts in your husband's behalf.
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      CommentAuthorsylvia
    • CommentTimeDec 13th 2010 edited
     
    FayeBay What a horrible story and that is what most of us dread when we have to place our loved ones, that they will be treated like that. How anyone can treat unfortunate, helpless people like that beggers description !!