Susan, I also wish you a very blessed Christmas. I know it will never be the same. May your memories be warm and happy. May your broken heart start to heal and know that we are thinking of you.
Waiting for the white Christmas - snow starts tonight. Guess we are in for the duration - but I love a white Christmas!
Evidently no harm done with DH's fall last evening except this morning he said his butt hurts! Gave him a moist heating pad to sit on for awhile. He doesn't remember the fall.
Susan and others who have lost loved ones, my heart aches for you and I know the holidays will not be the same this year. May you heal and return to "life" again soon. Love and prayers to all for a blessed holiday season.
Judy, that was a nightmare for you! I agree with Marsh's comments and hope that the state regulatory agency will take this seriously. And I would start asking around about other Care Facilities, just in case. I know this all takes time and energy and we are already depleted, and it makes me see red to think we have to do it, and do it again, and then keep doing it. Do you have a university hospital nearby with facilities for Alzheimer's patients ? Here, at least, they are more accountable than the privately-run businesses, for that it what they are, and they are making big bucks and are, as in your case, negligent. I wonder that, all of a sudden, the staff didn't turn up. I suspect that there would have been indications before this of goofing-off by employees, which should have been dealt with at the time by Administration before getting into a crisis like this. Also, there are many agencies here in Vancouver, Canada who will supply casual relief to facilities when their own staff don't turn up for one reason or another, e.g. sickness. It costs the facility more, and they don't like to do it, but they have to. Your facility doesn't seem to have had a backup plan. One question you might want to raise with the state is: What efforts were made to staff the facility in this emergency? What agencies were contacted? Something really rotten here. One day people are going to look back at this time period and say, "Can you believe the way that patients and their families were treated back then?" On a brighter note, there are professionals and other people out there who do care, and they will come into your life. But you do have to be vigilant and document. Wolf, in case you're reading this, I really, really hate that this has to be done, and I'm very, very angry. And since I have your ear (eye) the fact that the ex-wife of 30 years ago is being brought in by the stepson to visit my husband who is still hanging in there, doesn't make my day, either. Since it is upsetting to DH, it means more letters to the lawyer, etc. But, a more positive development, DH was transfered yesterday to a cozy warm room in the facility after my big meeting with the Administration (which I followed up with Joan's Care Management doc.). It is larger, more pleasant and we can even open the window for fresh air and still be warm.
68 degrees and sunny - tomorrow is forecast 71. Love the sun but I will be so glad when the holidays are over. The only time I can remember enjoying them was when I was in the church choir or pageant - then I could concentrate on the reason for the season for me and not on all this family happiness. As a child Christmas was stressful and my kids growing up seemed to always not like what we got them. DIL was telling me a few weeks ago that my son has fond memories of Christmas and fun - news to me. We stopped going to church over a year ago because my hb could not remember the sermons, so got nothing out of it. I miss it and told him yesterday that I should just go without him. But, I have a block back to my childhood of seeing my mom sitting in the back of the church alone because my dad never went to church. I know, I need to get over it and have tried. guess it is just my excuse for not doing anything about it.
Merry Christmas to all. We are going to the candle light service tonite and look forward to seeing the sanctuary lit by candle light. I think the insurance company will not allow total darkness but mood lighting is allowed. What a world we live in. We made it thru another year and do not look forward to 2011. I think it will be a very difficult year as she is declining faster now. I wish everyone a blessed holiday season, I guess it is odd with this disease knowing next year will be more difficult as we watch our loved ones waste away. I wonder if this may be DW last Christmas that she is able to talk. Love to all.
Merry Christmas to all! My family has been here since noon and everyone just left. Has been a busy week since the funeral and tying up loose ends. Never thought I would ever be so anxious to spend Christmas Eve alone but I am glad they are gone. I love them all dearly as they do me but I just need some DOWN time so here I sit at the computer with the mess waist deep around me. I don't think Santa Claus is going to come by and carry it all away so it will still be here when I am ready to clean it up. Hopefully by New Years.
Edis-it was the paper work that nearly did me in. Keep track of the name of every person you deal with. I made the mistake of doing my part and thinking that was that. WRONG!!! POA is no longer in effect when the spouse dies. Even just changing the name on utility bills can drive you crazy. Strangely SS was easy.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, everyone. Woke up to a blanket of snow here! Beautiful. Had DH chop onions, celery for my Mom's southern dressing; put the bird in the oven, made waldorf salad, the sweet potato casserole is ready! Don't know why I cook all this food for the two of us - habit, I guess. But I won't have to cook anymore for a week!
We have snow here in Alabama. According to the weather men on TV, Alabama has never had a white Christmas but when I got up this morning it was snowing pretty hard. We have about 2 inches on the ground and it has now stopped. It is beautiful and so quiet. I have not seen any traffic on our road so hopefully everyone is playing it safe. Made Kadee's cake and it is so good. Thank you, Kadee and Divvi for finding the recipe for me. Wishing everyone a day of joy, lots of chocolate and family to enjoy. Love you all...
Merry Christmas to everyone. It's a white Christmas here to in the Chicago area. Had a nice Christmas Eve at my parents' house and a lovely brunch at my daughter's this morning. Stopped off at my parents' on the way home to help my mom set up her Kindle that my dad gave her for Christmas. Now just taking it easy at home. We'll have a dinner for the two of us.
By the way, my husband loved his sing-a-ma-jig when he opened it this morning. I haven't seen him smile that big in a long time. :)
My youngest son drove me up to the Sunshine Coast for the day, and what a treat it was to have someone else take care of things. Loved being out of the city and back into an old familiar and beloved part of B.C. The ocean was calm, the ferry wasn't crowded, and the rain tapered off for our return trip. Gone for 6 hours into a different world and have returned refreshed. Blessings on younger sons.
My husband said his sing a ma jig is AMAZING! Behaved very well downstairs for the day which made life good for all of us. We had custody of Lina the Cavalier spaniel for the day which always puts a smile on every face. But I confesszim glad it's over!!
We have a house overflowing with family and it is a wonderful, chaotic thing. We're enjoying the love and laughter, and my husband is sleeping through most all of it! We're a lucky family compared to some here...I feel for those of you who have troubles on top of an AD spouse.....I don't know how you handle it.
I rejoice in the successful surgeries, reunions, and good memories of this Christmas with all of you.
My kids will be here another week, so my reading here will be sporatic!
I wish for all of you a happy 2011 and that we all can continue to share our love, problems, and joys with each other!
I hadn't checked in here for a while. Wow, didn't know I had MISSED so much news. My condolences to those who have lost a spouse, congratulations to those who FOUND each other! As for myself, I had a nice holiday with my parents, daughter and her significant other...... and his family. LOTS of driving and too many places for me to be appearing at once. Sad that I couldn't afford gifts. Blessed that others made room for me and were able to give. In all, it was really okay, although I couldn't have expected it to be so. No decorations here. I DID get a new TV!! So, I got to enjoy the Christmas Specials and SCI-FY!!! Its going slow here. After all the bustle and noise, it sure is quiet. But, ya know, I was happy to get back home to the stillness. Have to take my car to the shop....all this driving put the odometer to just over 56,000 miles. You KNOW that things are built to break after the warranty goes out, right? Well, luckily, some months ago, my father purchased an extended warranty for me! Guess what.....something sounds HORRIBLE in my engine and so, I limped it on home in the snow.I guess the warranty was a pretty good Christmas present, too, huh??! (hey...where can I meet someone?? The fellas I've met turn out to be defective in some manner. I always find it....no one in my life yet that I even feel like I HAVE TO TALK to regularly!!)
We went to our son and daughter-in-law's in Ohio on the 23rd. Our other son and his wife came from Virginia on the 25th. Had a wonderful time with the four of them and our daughter-in-law's parents. We celebrated Christmas on the 26th, ate a lot, and played games. A couple of months ago I found a game named Humm-ble at an estate sale. It has cards with the names of songs on them. You are supposed to hum one of the songs and get those on your team to name it. I can't hum or name the songs, but DH and the kids loved it. They had great fun and we all laughed a lot. It was a wonderful Christmas. We came home to Illinois today. The only down-side was that I had to do all the driving!
Well it’s all over & done with. All that fuss for one day & mostly celebrated for the wrong reason. Anyway the last of our company (our oldest son & his family) are leaving to go back to Ohio later today. We had a very nice Christmas, and DH was fine for the most part. I am thinking of the future though, so I made an appointment for us to tour the adult day care facility in our area. So Tuesday afternoon we are going to a “Senior Center” (at least that’s what I’m telling him) to check it out. I’m REALLY hoping that he likes it. If it works out he has to go at least twice a week & right now that’s all I can afford. It will actually allow mw to work another day a week (which I will have to do to be able to afford this). I will let you all know how it goes. Wish me luck!
December is on its way OUT and the year of 2010 along with it. It was a year of change and greater challenges than many of us could have ever imagined. From those who are beginning this journey, with all the questions and unknowns, to we ,in the middle, who are learning still (even though we have finally accepted that this is WHAT it IS), to the bravest and wisest who are working through the AFTER of this monsterous disease; throughout this place of Joan's, I pray for everyone here, especially Vickie right now.
All of our Hospice people just left, and G is being "kicked out" of home hospice in two weeks. This isn't a surprise as he has leveled out, but I need to come to grips with the home care alone once more. He is very difficult to handle alone, but guess we'll manage as everyone else does.. :-(
WE DON'T MANAGE ALONE for the most part. Now is the time to start identifying CNA help and having them come a day or two a week, then cut yourself slack on handling him the rest of the time. Mention around that you're looking for someone.. My referral to an agency came from my hairdresser, and that got me Andrew.
Well, Dec had some ups and downs or maybe it would be better to say some worries and changes. The hubby had a heart rate issue and I think it is under control now and our follow up appointment will tell the tale. I have one more PT session but I know the therapist is going to ask for some more sessions...I have made a lot of progress but am not there yet. Did not get a Christmas tree up due to the time DH was in hospital and then all the horrible weather so I just put out a couple things and I still had a mess of papers in the living room...so something was normal LOL. And today is my birthday and DH actually did remember a Christmas gift and birthday too...I think the Zales ads on tv triggered his mind and he got a friend to take him out shopping and I got a nice watch and a ring with my birthstone..those are very special since next year is most uncertain...I didn't care if I got anything as long as I got him home for Christmas... And tomorrow our middle girl and her family move to Iceland..for at least 5 years...So this has been a year of changes..and I see some changes in DH now too....he forgets that he already had a meal..and tonight he misread the thermostat....thought it said it was 92 in the house..it was 9:28 and 68 degrees.. I can't imagine what is ahead for 2011...The world of AD won't get a bit better unless there is a miracle for our LOs..and by extension, us.
Nothing like starting your day with an earthquake. Thankfully, only minor damage & no injuries reported so far. 4.2 Earthquakes are very rare in Indiana.
I have never experienced an earthquake. Cannot imagine how it would feel. The movies show California earthquakes with the walls shaking and everything falling from cabinets.. It would be terrifying, I think. I've heard tales of people being in high rise buildings that wave around like ribbons. OMG!
Interesting that the west coast has been noted for earthquakes but lately the midwest and even east coast has been having them.
Got my crown today. It was real hard not to put money out for a new bridge for Art. Even though the price is a fraction of what it cost in the U.S., they only take cash and I want to keep the cash for traveling. He is disappointed but I also told him it has always been about him - getting his teeth done over the years and I forgo things I need. His bridge is still good - just looks like he has a silver tooth when he smiles. Its the first time in ages I have stood my ground for me.
Yuma has turned from warm to cool and windy. but that is fine - it beats rain and snow many of you are getting.
Charlotte, did you happen to go to Algodones for the dental work?
Yuma at this time of the year is the best. It is rare for it to be 49 as it was in PHX today..I miss Yuma.
Earthquakes...I have been through several..the biggest was 6 years ago up here on the Central Coast off San Simeon..It was a 6.5 and we felt it and the aftershocks for some time. The earlier bad one...the Northridge quake we did not feel here but we did see our chandlier sway 5 seconds after each aftershock. We don't like them at all but the 3.somethings are not as upsetting..we take small notice of those except to worry about when the really big one might happen..
I'm late! I'm late! Oh wait, I already posted earlier. Are you allowed only one?
Mary75, when the x-wife of 30 years ago shows up I recommend putting on a groucho marx mask with the black plastic rims and mustache and walking around stooped. When the old bag asks you what you're doing tell her your acting too because you don't want her to feel alone. While she's taking in your rapier wit add, "Want a second opinion? You're ugly too." It'll play even worse than it sounds on paper - but, I can guarantee you'll have an impact on her tearful reunion. Witch.
Ok. Let me try that again.
Wait out in the hall and when she comes out walk past her and say: "What? Did you lose him again?"
Elegant brutality and you save the $1.98 for the mask.
Anyways my life is around here somewhere; but, I keep misplacing it. As Woody Allen said before he started dating his children, "To live is to suffer. To die is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer." I prefer the more direct "Death is inevitable. Suffering is optional." At least I did until life started kicking me in the head like a fixated jack&ss with turettes syndrome. 'Focus on the moments when he's winding up' says the zenmaster. I'd strangle him with my mouse cord if I had the strength. And Woody Allen: Get out once in a while will you? Or once even.
Life feels strangely like that face Jack Nicholson makes in movies like "As Good As It Gets" like he's seen everything twice and you just rolled off a turnip truck. Like a movie of watching yourself diving the pantleg around in space trying to be there when the leg comes down out of sheer luck. Or stopping oddly because you swear she didn't have time to take off the hat again; but, it's not there on her head again and you only bent down for a second. Or almost snapping your neck off as you go by looking twice to verify that yes, that plant is wearing a necklace.
It does my heart good to be in this fellini/warhol movie in the same way I enjoyed yoko ono screeching into my ear like some banshee on acid. I was not properly prepared for this. Instead of a war or a depression our generation had rock and roll, drugs, and the pill thrown at us. We coped as best we could; but, we would have been better off having the will to live sucked out of us earlier so that when we did a face plant into life it wouldn't have been such a shock. I am cleaning toilets over here! I am plunging clogged drains! I am washing out panties!!!!!
I always loved that saying Groucho took from Vaudeville, "I would never join a club that would have me as a member." Such a wonderfully unpretensious admission wrapped completely in pretensiousness. The echoes are strong when you look at the outward normality, the horrors in your face, and the feelings inside. It's a noble being though that sets it's own needs aside for the benefit of another. As we enter a new year it's worth noting that whatever mistakes we make and whatever hardships we endure - that is us that is that noble being setting aside our own needs for another. That's a truth best seen when we think of other caregivers since we're such terrible judges of ourselves. Life's like that.
So I'll leave you with the words of Joan Rivers the plastic surgery queen on the Shopping Channel when she looked up into the camera and said, "Am I smiling? I can't tell."
Had a good Christmas with our 2 daughters and their families. Marge did well, even to sleeping over at our old house so we could be with the kids more. Then yesterday whe "woke" up not very responsive. It took my daughter helping to get her to the bathroom and dressed. She ate only half of her breakfast. By noon she was basically unresponsive, so a trip to the ER. They found her blood sugar to be well over 600!!!!! She also had a UTI. She is still in the hospital, more responsive, but speech quite slurred and very weak. She will probably be in at least over the weekend. On the good side, maybe this will get her back on hospice.
Last night was down near freezing and the windmills were going in the orchards around us. I wondered how noisy they would be and found out. Actually even though noisy - reminded me of a truck running at the truck stop next to you, they were a constant sound so kind of lulled me to sleep. Hb never heard them. Tonight is suppose to be another cold one in the mid 30s. But the day was beautiful and when the sun comes out is better. It shines on the front of the MH so we open the door even though the temp is in the upper 50s - weird I know.
Ruth is always posting on Facebook 'God wants you to know' and the one I got for me today hit me square between the eyes: ''that tonight you can turn your worries to God, and have a good night's sleep. You've been worrying too much about the future lately. So tonight, go ahead, put your faith in God, and just have a peaceful evening and a restful sleep." I hope I can do that and sleep.
I kind of did that. I was stressing about whether to do our dream and boondock in Quartzsite or stay here in Yuma and drive up there later in the month for the RV shindig. Earlier all the RV parks I had checked with were full but I tried again. The first one I called had a cancellation on a spot we can fit into so I took it. It will be a compremise between boondocking and doing what is less stressful for Art. He will have TV, be within walking distance of most stuff, we will get to enjoy whatever is going on without worrying of going out every week to empty tanks and fill up water then park again. So I am happy.
Marsh - sorry about Marge. I am glad you quickly found the problem. 600 for blood sugar is terrifyingly high.
Charlotte, What is "boondocking".... I don't think you've elaborated much about what you are going to be doing... Is the RV Shingdig a type of reunion?