I finally gave myself permission NOT to write a Christmas letter this year. I just had no luck finding good pictures (it is traditionally mostly pictures with captions) since we hardly went anywhere. Up till last year, Siem took the pictures and he was a great photographer. Also did not know what to say since I did not want to describe dh's condition in a Christmas letter and it seemed very false to write a cheery letter and then have to tell everyone sometime later in 2011 that he was in a nursing home. So yesterday after talking to my cleaning lady (she is a good friend and very down to earth) I got on line and had a card printed with ONE picture taken during our Alzheimer Association vacation this summer. That should tell people enough and if it doesn't, they can call and ask. We both look healthy and happy on the picture, so it is a cheerful greeting card. I am so relieved!
Jeanette, I'm pretty sure our husbands are at about the same stage, although mine has been in an Alzheimers ALF for two months now. (Daycare didn't work at all). I have also made the decision about a Christmas letter. In fact, I'm not even sending cards, just responding to those I receive. If I'm ever on a cruise that stops in Rotterdam, let's meet for lunch!
We just got back from a Christmas party at the day care center my wife attends. It started with a beef-stew lunch, then the caregivers could go shopping while the care receivers watched a Christmas movie and made Christmas cookies. I didn't have any shopping to do so stayed at the center and watched the cookie-making, then joined in singing Christmas carols. My wife seemed to be really enjoying herself, except she ate too many cookies. But then, she was having fun!!!
I found out something today. I am embarrassed by my DH’s behavior. Not so much his behavior, it’s his rambling talking. Today we went to brunch & then to a play of the Christmas Carol. We drove with 5 other people 2 of them knew about DH. Well as we were driving there (the drive took over an hour) he started pointing out places saying how he worked there or how we were getting close to Buffalo (we were in Washington DC). He’d say, “I don’t know how many times I’ve been here & I worked over there for many years.” He kept on & on. I tried to interrupt him a few times, but it didn’t always work. It was making me crazy. When we got to the brunch, I told the 3 people that DH has Alzheimer’s & they were very gracious. They said that they understood & he was fine. Then on the way home he started up again, it was dark so he kept on commenting about all the city lights. He’d say, “If you look over there you’ll see all those lights, I don’t know how many times I’ve seen those lights.” The other people were very nice & every once in a while they would agree with him. It just drove me crazy. He does it all the time when we are driving somewhere, but it never occurred to me that he would ramble on when we were with other people. He also stopped & talked with almost anyone who made eye contact with him. A few times I looked around & he wasn’t right behind me. I know I should be thankful that he is still a social person (very social), but sometimes it drives me CRAZY! Anyone else have this problem?
I was feeling this way a bit myself just today but it dawns on me that those who are NOT with our LOs for as many days and hours as we are seem to be better able to manage this sort of repetition from our LOs than we are. We live with it all the time.
For me what is frustrating is when a relative who should know about this disease becomes insistent on telling a LO about a funeral ( this is going on here now) next week.." I want him to know the day of the wake and the day of the funeral." I said no I was not going to tell him all of that to which I get" Yes I want him to know this. He will know it is too far to drive to go to the service." It is more than an 8 hour drive from where we are. Again I said no I was not going to tell him all of that because he will begin to obsess out how to get there..and sil kept saying no he will know it is too far to go..I finally had my fill of this and said " No he will begin to obsess about this. I know, I live with this every single day 7 days a week. I will only tell him the funeral is next week but the time is not set ( which at that time it wasn't) that will be as much truth as he ( and I ) can manage.
As to the Christmas cards..I did send them out. I did tell most of the folks that he has AD so they will not take him at his word 100% since he sounds so good on the phone. Those who are far away but do call need to know this. I did not go into much detail and I blended it with the news of one of the girls moving out of the country and his induction into a Hall of Fame...but I was tempted to skip the whole thing.
Elaine--the medical term for what your husband is doing is called confabulation--making things up, but he thinks they are true. It is a common symptom with AD--do a search, I am sure there have been many discussions here on it. In my opinion, if he is going to be around other people, it would be best if they knew the diagnosis. Everyone should try to agree with what he is saying, there is no point in correcting him.
Confabulation is a funny thing. My DH has told our DD that all our past pets have not died, they all have run away. I just go along with what ever he says.
Yesterday it was 40 and rain, today it is 20 and snow wind chill of 10 :( Hope everyone is keeping warm this weekend. I hate the cold.
I have a neighbor who moved in 6 months ago and he moved in mom in to the house next to him. His mom has dementia. Her son seems to be in another world. He leaves his mom alone and will go off for the weekend. His mom walks up and down the street all day. She has now taken to borrowing tools. Her son is gone this weekend and this morning I noticed his mom peeking in our windows. Then she disappeared. I go to get the paper this morning and she standing at our front door in the cold . She did not knock just stood there in the cold. I have called the cops before and as long as she knows her name and the date they will not do anything. I have spoken with her son on several occasions about his mom's condition and I have told him that my wife has it too. He does not seem to care or understand what is going on with his mom, nor does he seem interested in finding out what he can do. I guess oneday his mom will wander off and that will be the end of his problems.
I agree, Pris. I'd call Adult Protective Services. Child abuse hotline might know who to call. Social Services at a hospital might help. Can't imagine police not seeing and understanding.
I went to the son's home to talk with him about his mom. He was gone, but his wife was there. She tells me that she is a nurse and they are thinking they need to get a home health aid to come sit with her when they are gone. DUH!!! She then asks me if anything in this pile of stuff is mine. She tells me that her MIL will pick up stuff when she is out on her walk and bring it home. Anything not nailed down in your yard she will take in other words. They did not even come over and ask me if any of this stuff was mine. What is wrong with people. She is educated and is acting like a dummy. They are in denial, or do not want to accept responsibility for her. I now have their phone number and will use it the next time her MIL comes over asking to borrow stuff.
Mimi & Marilyn, Thanks for responding. Mimi, I know exactly what you mean about NOT telling DH about any events until you are practically on your way there. If I mention something to him that we are doing a few days away, well he asks me about it constantly until I want to go crazy. So I NEVER tell him ahead of time. I’ve also told everyone who knows us that they can’t tell him anything ahead of time & they don’t. They have heard him ask me numerous times about future events so they know. Marilyn, I have my little business card that says “Please be patient, he has Alzheimer’s” & I don’t hesitate to show it when I need too. I’ve seen peoples expression change to understanding when they see it.
Today is a "marker" day. I took hb to a dementia care facility for a week's vacation from me. I'll be flying to KC, MO to visit our son and family, but hb doesn't know it. I had packed his bag, laid out clean clothes for him. Then showered and got myself ready. He put on the clothes I'd laid out--after he'd put on 3 other shirts THEN the sweater. Because it's icy cold with snow here, I set out black leather boots. I noticed he had on 1 boot and 1 black loafer. I asked him to change one or the other so they matched. I sensed another battle coming on; so decided the facility would get what they got. He was quite willing to go for this vacation. (I took the matching pair with us; so he could match-up later.) He proudly pulled his suitcase in the door and walked where directed and began a group activity while I filled out a ream or two of paper that I would have thought they'd had me do prior. I'd only filled out a couple sheets that were duplicated in one ream or another. Anyway, he came up to me later with a big grin and hug. We walked to his room and I put his clothes away. I asked if he'd like to share the memory book he'd made in a support group, Brainbuilders, and he said yes; so he walked to a staff member and started talking about it as I left. Later the leader of one of his support groups e-mailed that she and a volunteer had visited the facility's open house tonight, and hb had showed them the facility with a big smile. Another newcomer, female, was quite chatty, and hb listened attentively to her. So all of this is to say at least day one was a success and I'm here tonight in silence, no locking the pantry, no being pestered by hb's dog (she's at a kennel), no getting up and down all night as he wanders. Wondering what success they'll have getting him to shower? Wish this facility weren't so expensive, but I'm happy tonight! He's happy. Sorry this is so long; guess it's my exuberance--at least for today.
DH still holding his own, although each day takes him down lower. At least he's stopped vomiting; one of the R.N.'s asked the doctor to discontinue the daily aspirin that he has been taking for years to prevent heart problems or a stroke; she also asked that he be taken off a calcium pill for osteo. and whose side effect can be nausea. Anyway, it's worked. Went in today and found that DH had had oxygen fro 10 mins. in early a.m. because he said he couldn't breathe. Husband was fine, but I discovered that the care aide had plugged in a small space heater right beside the oxygen machine, and the heater was turned to high. I pulled the heater, put the oxygen machine out into the corridor, and thanked God I'd gone in when I did. Told the R.N. (who'd put the machine in his room in the first place), and she had it returned to its proper storage place.
I should have noted in the posting above that the reason there is an electric space heater in DH' s room that I had to supply because the the room was frigid and - in spite of the facility's efforts to fix their heating system -remains a chilly room. Continuing the above, 2 days later:The R.N. then instructed the aide that I hired that if my husband gets short of breath again, he is to put DH in a wheelchair and take him down to the nursing station, and they will give DH oxygen there. The night R.N. told my night aide, when the aide reported that DH was short of breath, "Open the window and door." I contacted once again the CEO's assistant about the heat problem. She said she'd look into it, but the oxygen problem was a nursing problem. She transferred my call to the head of nursing who went down to talk to the day R.N. This is the same R.N. who lied about her complaints to me about a care aide work (see "Crazy World" entry), and true to form, this R.N. again denied she had told aide to put DH in wheelchair and take him to the oxygen. Then this R.N. called to me from behind her desk, said she wanted to talk to me and for the next several minutes gave me a hard time, as if I were one of her staff - and low on the scale, at that - and told me I should have phoned her and not the head of nursing etc. etc. etc. until I stopped her. I've reported the whole thing to those in charge and have asked to have DH moved to a warm room that will accommodate oxygen and is in Extended Care on the next floor. or at least to another nursing unit where I will not have to deal with present R.N. Have a meeting scheduled with CEO and Social Worker at 11:00 on Monday. In the meantime, the R.N. from agency who supplies the aides is going in and get in writing (thanks, Joan) instructions from the Facility's R.N. for the care aides on what to do if DH gets short of breath again, and, says the Agency R.N., she will not accept that they will pack DH down in a wheelchair to the oxygen storage cupboard, or that they will open a window and door, as "That's just stupid." The Agency has already checked out the aide's story, and see no reason why he would make it up, and next will check his identification of the R.N. Any comments or suggestions?
I'm checking in for December..taking a few minutes to wish everyone the hopes that we all have already for things to go as well as they can during this Christmas season. Mary75, I just met on Wednesday with the nurse and director about some simple things and learned that the staff can't always be trusted to tell the truth. (not really surprised). Simple matter of sheets being changed and is anyone really checking to see what is needed. Simple, but director was told that DH only had ONE set of sheets. Well not really. He has 3. Two identical sets are marked #1 and #2 and another set is flannel. The director seemed somewhat surprised. I believe DH's basic fundamental care is provided. Its just that the memory unit is isolated and not many Chief's spend enough quality time 'back there' to provide the motivation needed for some to do their jobs. Thats the nicest way I can phrase it. However, if it comes to life and breathing or not breathing, what the heck..I'd be in war mode. grrrr.
HELP!!!! I can't find my cake recipe. I think it was posted by Kadee. It was for a German Chocolate Pound Cake and you added a can of pecan and coconut frosting in the batter. I searched recipes and was unable to locate it. Hopefully someone remembers this recipe.
That sounds dangerous Bama. I just finished doing 4# of melted chocolates over pecans and have "tasted" way too many so I sealed them and stored them over the refrigerator in the garage. Only problem is I know where they are. (the recipe sounds delicious)
bama check under easy favorite recipe thread i brought to the top .. grin.. leave it to me to find anything sweet! btw- yes its kadees recipe look thru the thread its there divvi
I'm looking out here at a winter wonderland -- so beautiful. Everything covered with a fresh layer of snow in the night. Meanwhile life here in Holland has about ground to a stop: the country is not prepared to deal with so much snow. On the news horror pictures of Amsterdam airport jammed with standed passengers and people missing planes because of the long lines. I am already worried about travelling with two little children Wednesday. Hope things will have calmed down by then. Dh had a snow day Friday. The day care van had already picked him up, when I got a call that he was being brought home again, because of snow storm alerts for later in the day. Grrrr. If they'd made the decision earlier I could have let him sleep. But we made a nice day of it, took a walk in the snow to a tearoom where we had apple pancakes and split pea soup for lunch and then a visit from BIL and SIL (I called and told them how nice it was to walk in the snow, got to keep these things going). But I've cancelled other meetings with friends and I think I'll cancel a visit we have planned for this afternoon, unless they want to come here. Our road (along the top of a dike) does not get plowed and I don't want to drive if it's not necessary.
No snow here today but so very cold! Hosted a Christmas brunch yesterday for 16. It was fun, I had some "real" conversation! DH did well, but mostly sat in his recliner with Millie on his lap. That was okay though and everyone would talk to him - and he did respond rather well. This is the extent of our Christmas "celebrations" I guess, since we will be alone throughout the holidays. I do hope I can convince him to go to the early Christmas Eve service at our church. Doubt it, but will make the effort. I do miss all the holidays events which we used to both enjoy so very much. Just another part of the downhill slide that's missing now. I wish you all peace during this season and pray that 2011 will be 'easier' on all of us.
Amen to that Vickie. glad your event went so well! jeannette huge mid west storms here passing thru lately too. hope your travel plans go well and not much delay esp if with children!
have grandaughter this weekend and we have been busy doing things things that entertain, puzzles, painting, baking, movies, etc. DH seems to enjoy her company and she likes to help feed him so it all works out.
we also will be alone the rest of the week as family all has their own kids/plans to celebrate at home this year. i was the grinch this year and did very little decorating except a tiny 3ft tree for DH. and only a couple of little things for him for xmas. like many of you it will be lonely times wishing of long gone times where our spouses were well and we had travel and entertaining plans like the good years. but fate has us with other plans in mind so we will make the best of it.
see squirrley very sporadic at times and she must be very busy with winter approaching storing up food supplies. all the critters are working overtime with cold weather upon us.
hoping each of you has a nice holiday and heres hoping we all have a better year ahead. divvi
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!
Got up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head, found my way downstairs and had a smoke and looking up I noticed I had no life.
I didn't want to go to the family christmas dinner or to the couples new year thing and I've been dragging my butt out of bed recluctantly because I don't actually like anything about my life anymore. So I phoned my friend who's been close all this time even though it was early Sunday. I could hear him making coffee and knew he was going to talk. He said do what you want. He said I talk about having to take care of me but I don't do it. He said I've already said I don't want to go. So don't. Tell them it's too hard and let it go. He said it's time to go out there and look at care facilities because it's time to face that and he would go with me.
It's so important for us to have someone to talk to. My christmas wish is that I can help someone here who doesn't have that so that I can be that person for them. I don't want anyone not to have someone they can at least be fully honest with and hear themselves say the things that prey on the mind.
I went downstairs after talking and asked my DW as simply as I could if she would like to go and see her friends at new years and she said "Yes that would be nice." That's as good as it gets talking these days and that level is quite rare. So we'll go.
And suddenly the weight of the world is lifted for a bit and while I'm not in Yuma wearing shorts - it is nice looking out the window at the snow drifting down.
Happy holidays. Merry christmas. Happy hanukkah. I hope all the people that are alone and all the people that are oppressed as I am can feel something of the joy to be here and be alive even if it is hard. Joan thank you for the blessings you give others by inventing this place and running it. I hope some of that good Kharma comes back to you. God bless us every one.
Wolf K, since you are here and invite me to say what is honest and is preying on my mind, I want to tell you that I am angry, hurt and scared that so much %&*$% is going on around me, and has been, for the past 4 years. I'm tired, disgusted, fed up, and I'm frightened that I can't hold up, knowing that even after DH's death, the vultures will be after me, that is, the stepkids and ex-wife. I'm tired of being ever vigilant and looking over my shoulder to see what's coming next, either from Care Facility or his family. Am outraged that the medial and nursing system is not working better for the patient. I look towards the future and see that the health care industry and system sucks, and that will affect me when I need it, and who's to advocate for me? Gee, now I've said it, it doesn't sound so bad. I can do it. Thanks, Wolf K for listening.
i AM listening. What you say is true. I will likely lose my house. I hate getting up too many mornings. You have every right to say these things which you are suffering through.
It's like that movie. What was it? "I'm mad as hell and I'm going to keep taking it!" Or something like that.
I feel for you Mary75. I feel for all of us. Mostly because I'm going through very similar things.
It helped me to talk and get something out. This year I get to pick which box I ship my wife to somewhere. Because I talked about it, I won't have to do that alone. I just hope everybody has some way of getting help or at least to talk about the anger or frustration we must all have inside.
Good for you, Wolf. So glad you have a friend. I am lucky, lots of supportive people to talk to. It's not always easy to make the effort to make contact but I am always glad afterwards. Good luck in your search for a good place for DW. I did that last spring, although it was not yet time. I was not nearly as professional about it as some on this site have been. Somewhere there is a whole list of things to watch out for and questions to ask. I did have recommendations from my case manager. The third place I looked at, I thought "This is it" and I stopped looking.
Talked to Care Aide tonight and now he (not Tony) denies saying that he was told by the R.N. to take DH in wheelchair to the oxygen at the nurses' station. Changed his story to me again midway through this new one and added a bit of bafflegab to thoroughly confuse me.. Emailed the agency and asked that he not be sent again; I blamed it on a language problem but suspect that Aide's modus operandi is "When in doubt, deny." Meet tomorrow with Social Worker and hope the answer is yes to a warmer room with oxygen available. Will take it even if it's a semi (which my husband won't like), but he needs to be warm and have oxygen when necessary. According to Aide, one of DH's daughter came to visit, and DH told Aide later, "I'm so lucky to have a loving family." So it was worth it to have the lawyer write that letter to the step-kids pointing out how frail he is and encouraging them to visit. Thanks, Divvi for advising me to have letter sent.
I was lucky, as there are three facilities within a few miles and even more a bit farther away. Florida is indeed "God's Waiting Room" with lots of choices for whatever ails you.
like the rest of you i find i have folks i can talk to but the real issue is do they really understand what our needs and complaints are? unless they are in the throws of AD i find most are sympathetic but cant relate much due to not being 'in the trenches'. i know many couples who gripe about their spouses, but do not gripe about feeling alone and having to do every dang decision making thought on your own. its burdensome tiring and downright draining emotionally and physically. the only people who can really hold your hand are those who are walking the walk. mary i am very glad your DH is reaping the benefits of having the kids visit and he feels important and loved. thats what its all about and worth the suffering we go thru.
Despite the full moon, DH did pretty well! Just a little confused - with our anniversary Thursday, Christmas Eve Friday and Christmas Day Saturday - it's a little much for him to absorb. Went to pick up scripts yesterday and asked if he wanted to go get his cards - he said yes, and he picked them out and wouldn't let me see them. So, we'll see if I get a birthday card or what! This morning he said he needed some money. When I asked why, he said he had to go buy some cards! Told him he already bought them and he said he couldn't find them. I did finally find them and put them in his recliner pocket. They may go missing again before Thursday! LOL
Thank you, Joan, and all of you here! What a blessing you all are.
I am finding my Christmas season filled with ups and downs. Christmas Letter was hard to write - I wanted the right tone and didn't want to sound too down. I did the Christmas cards and that was bit of a jolt - first Christmas writing only my name. I had a hard time doing gifts this year - usually I shop through the year and pick up things for people as I travel and go interesting places. Half the fun of that is getting out the gifts to wrap and thinking about those places and the experiences all over again. So, I did finish my shopping and actually most of it is okay, I just miss that little something extra that usually went along with some of the gifts. This is a very busy time at work so I have been doing lots of overtime. It was good to be doing a lot over the last couple of months, I think it helped the first couple of months pass more quickly.
I thought I would be alone a lot after he was gone and I have been alone but have also been busy with various friends. I always laugh with retired friends who talk about how they don't know how they had time to work. In my case, I don't know how I had time to go see him as much as I did. That is really a good feeling.
I miss him every day and yet am so relieved that he is no longer in pain. I have my moments and counter those with some good memories of times that we shared.
So many things did not get done over the last few months of his life, that I feel good that I have made inroads on accomplishing them.
Vickie - hapy anniversary, Happy Holidays (the PC version), Merry Chrismas, and the best to you all.
the full moon has quite a grip on my DH out here in Montana. Things are so mixed up for us. I will be off of work for 10 days over Christmas and New Years. The time to just focus on home and DH will be good. I'm not sure what will happen over Christmas. DH has withdrawn from almost everyone and we only have plans for Christmas dinner with son and DH cousin from out of town. I think the main problem is that over the years, when people did bad things to DH, he just "let it slide" so people just kept doing it that way. Over the last several years or so, DH is changing and is responding to these things. His family doesn't know how to react so the interaction fails. DH is afraid to get hurt so he is not trying to save his relationships. He is hurt that no one calls him, yet he doesn't call anyone either. Then we have the thing going on with Daughter and her family. So, none of our plans will be the same this year.
Oh what a day! Our 37th anniversary. DH did get me a card and we went out to lunch. Total disaster. Won't go into detail, but no more buffets. He spilled his ice tea glass into a tray of b-b-q on the buffet. Couldn't get him to put his glass on the table. He's never had a problem at buffets before. But was so confused. Then late this afternoon I called him to come to dinner. He got up from his recliner, walked across the den, and started into the kitchen and just fell! I saw him but knew I couldn't do anything, except I did kneel down and caught his head before it hit the floor. He missed hitting the corner of our island by about an inch! Couldn't get him up and was almost ready to dial 911, but after a few moments, got him to slide about 3 feet to the stairway where he could get hold of the banister. Finally got him up. He ate dinner - and I honestly don't think he remembers falling. I'm thinking TIA. Got him into bed after dinner with heating pad around his neck - he did say his neck hurt a little. I'll watch him for the next few hours and see how he is.
Hope all my friends here will have a peaceful holiday season. Don't know what I would do without you all.
Oh, Vickie, that fall must have been very scary, and certainly no way to celebrate an anniversary. Lunch apparently wasn't very celebratory either. So sorry. I hope your DH doesn't have any ill after-effects from the fall.
Yikes. Everyone..Vickie I don't know if I could move fast enough to catch anything falling. Good Job! wheweee.. Its Christmas EVE and am hoping and wishing for all of us..that things will and can go as well as possible. Way to go WOLFE and yesserieee..I'm so thankful that we can let things out HERE..if we can't anywhere else. Yesterday when I went to visit DH, NO STAFF had showed up for work at the 6-2 shift..OR since it was after 2..no staff had appeared for the 2-10 shift.. The Director and ACtivity director were back there..but just in 'keeping' mode.. not actually doing hands on care..other than breakfast and lunch I guess. At about 3, one of the workers came in from another job to fill in..BUT this completely unnerves me.. Thankfully, DH is still relatively ok..Can walk, feed himself, put on clothes etc. and most bathroom things..exception of missing the toilet to urinate. His short term memory is so short now that he calls me someetimes before I've driven away from the parking lot..asking when I'm going to get there. I have to remind him that I was just there and I tell him everything we just did. Then he sometimes says he remembers..but thanks me for coming. My dilemma is this.. he's comfortable and likes his room and can find his way around in it. He can find his bathroom..He can find his clothes. He is not actually LOST in his room..The facility arrangement is good enough that even if he can't go DIRECTLY to his room, he can ultimately find it. There is only one hallway that opens into the larger living/dining space. If no workers show up for work..he is still secure and someone WILL go back there to bring food/medicines etc. He doesn't need hands on care right now..but if/when he does.. and no staff shows up for work?? What then?? Yesterday I sat with the other residents (DH was asleeep) and the Activity Director who had been back there since 7 a.m. and tried to think.. Taking him out for overnight etc. gets confusing and causes him agitation AND If I take him out we can't go to our home.. I have to either keep him at a hotel where there is only one room/bathroom etc. The next option would be to keep him at my studio but anything other than HIS room is confusing to him now.... So do I take him out to make a statement about their lack of adequate staff..or just let him stay where he is comfortable and relativly ok? What a crazy CRAZY deal. AS before, if it was a matter of living and BREATHING..I'd probably have to take him out or HIRE additional private help. I seriously wish I knew if there was a BETTER facility..We thought this one was the BEST. I suppose the next question is how long does one allow for things to begin to 'work out'? Golly.when a couple of things get going well, the next thing happens..one can expect some times of being shorthanded..and adjust..BUT that shouldn't be the norm..Should it? I realize that the healthcare 'industry' is just that..an industry..BUT something is wrong when no one shows up for work.. Thats enough folks.. December check in.. Thanks to all of you and especially thanks to Joan.. We are all so fortunate to have this place.
Judy, you, and other families, should have a serious talk with the director of the home (not the activities director) and get an explanation of what happened, what they are doing to prevent a recurrence, and plans for care if it does happen again. You should also contact your state regulatory agency. And be sure to put everything in writting (see Joang's blog on keeping notes at meetings.)
Well, here it is Christmas Eve and I lived to see it, broken heart and all. I wish you all, my dearest confidants, a quiet sense of peace in your hearts. May your holiday be filled with happy memories, and many moments of of unexpected bits of wonder and joy. I love you all more than you could ever imagine. Arms around and around, Susan*