Just wondering if any of you are experiencing this. I mentioned it in a very recent blog, but it is increasing and getting worse. If I move, he's asking "where are you going?" If I open the front door to talk to someone or get a package, it's "Where are you going? Where did you go?" If I make a phone call, get a notification jingle on my cell phone, read an e-mail - "Who was that? Who are you are you talking to? What did they want? What are you talking about?"
I didn't think he was far enough along to be so attached to me, but I guess I was wrong. It's suffocating me. I try to answer as simply as possible, because if I don't, he just keeps asking follow-up questions. Like a 4 year old.
Yes, Joan.....he is scared to be separated from you....you are his lifeline....This too shall pass....you might not have any hair left after pulling it out in frustration, but once they get further along, it stops....You are everything to him, and he needs the security of having you be all things to him.
Wait until he reaches 2 years old...that has those toddler problems! <grin>
Joan, I had the same thing. I didn't dare move an inch off the couch before the questions began..."are you going to bed" "are you going to eat something" "are you going to read now?" The "Are You" questions just drove me batty.
like mary says 'and this too shall pass'--- eventually. but be prepared it can last a long time. i do believe the security they get from our presence is profound. about the only salvage is to sorta become 'tonedeaf' and not dwell too much on all the repetitive questions. if you answer once then continue with uh-huh, oh nothing or a monosyllabal in response sometimes its less stressful than repeating the whole phrases, which we know doesnt register anyway. explaining actions doesnt register either. ' i am going to the door' instead say ' i will be right back' assurances assurances assurances in any form of words you like is all they really want to hear. its such a trying time! sorry for all of you going thru this. divvi
Joan, YES! I feel the same way. It drives me crazy. When I took him over to our daughter's house today so I could go to work he was confused, but when he realized I was leaving he got angry & wouldn't kiss me goodbye (when Iasked him if he was going to kiss me goodbye he said, "No, I'm never going to kiss you again!") Luckily after I left he mellowed out & he had a pretty good day & was fine when I went to get him.
Yes it happens and some days are better than others with regard to this. For a spell just when he got the DX I thought I would go nuts with the questions. There are times now when he will call out just to know where I am in the house and often he asks who I hear from with emails..I usually tell him I am reading news headlines and then tell him what they are. Our new cat Cookienne ( had to figure out a way to change her name a little since there is another Cookie that looks just like ours in the neighborhood so Cookienne is a fancy way to include her former last name which started with an N so now we have Ebonie Anne and Cookienne but I digress) Cookienne is his new lifeline..she adores him and is in his lap as often as possible..our Ebonie and Cookie need to learn to share space still but that will come)..he asks fewer questions with the cat to keep him busy.
I don't get to many questions about what I am doing. But sometimes the following me around is to the point if I turn around fast I run into DH! One thing that I find funny. I have a desk in my sewing room to pay bill and such. When I am in there the dogs will walk past the door and look in, and now DH will walk past and look in also. Everyone knows not to bother me when I am in there so they just look in. The cats have a pillow in front of the window they can lay on and will join me in the room. But the rest of the family just walks by and look in. Some times it just makes me smile. They all depend on me so much. I know it has to be so hard on our LO, I try so hard not to get mad. Some times if I laugh inside, that keeps me from getting so upset with it.
The list is getting longer...the same thing happens here too. My DH has to know my every move. I agree with divvi, he really doesn't want the answer and doesn't care what the answer is, he just wants to ask and ask and ASK! What I think is funny is he doesn't seem to like it when I ask him where he is going!
Isn't that the truth?! Who was here? Who was on the phone? Who are you talking to? Who is that from? (the mail) Where are you going? Why? For how long? And while I'm gone on a Dr. Appt. he asks the respite person: Do you think she's there yet? (after 2 mins.) When is her appt? Do you think sh's done yet? When did she say he'd be done? It's been an hour. Where is she? Shouldn't she be coming yet? Did she call?
"I'll be right back" is my standard answer. When I put him to bed I say "I have to call Mom and then I'll be right back." Usually works. A question almost every afternoon when he gets home from day care "How's come you never come along?" I tell him about something I had to do that day. He's more like a two-year old than a four-year-old. Sometimes the terrible twos.
It's the same here. If I say I'll be right back he says okay then he's right behind me. He stressed me out so much last weekend that I developed an eye twitch that lasted four days.
Ditto here! Today I was reminded why I don't even like to talk on the phone. I received a few calls today & he was listening to every word & after I hung up he asked a million questions (all the same as all of you mentioned). (& then people wonder why I don't call them. I only work one day a week & that is the only time I have away from DH. I know I am fortunate to have that because some of you don't even get that break. Our daughter lives right across the street & he stays with her when I go to work. I moved my computer into the livingroom so he wouldn't be alone so much (I spend a lot of time on my computer) but now he sits on the couch & stares at me.
My DH doesn't follow me around but if I move out of my chair he asks "Are you leaving". I might be going in the kitchen or to the bathroom. If I am not where he can see me he looks for me and there aren't too many places I can be in the house!
I totally understand all of this. My dh can't speak the correct words to hold a conversation or ask questions, but he is always looking for me or watching me. Our conversations are me observing what is going on with my dh, and understanding the signs I see such as his expressions or whatever. He will start to try to say something and I figure the rest out. One day we were going to get my sister and one of her sons to come over. He got upset, I asked him why, and he said "no time". To make a long story short, he doesn't want me to talk to people or have company because I am not spending my time with him. He is afraid I will forget him. It is extremely hard on him when I go somewhere and leave him with his brother, the only one I leave him with. Or when that brother comes and gets him for a hour or two. My dh is lost and constantly looking for me. It breaks my heart to see him so afraid. I assure him I would never leave him but he is just so scared. So far this is not getting better here. If anything it is getting worse. It makes it really hard to get things done in the house, but you know what?????? It will be here when he won't..... that's the way I see it and if someone thinks my house needs work, they are welcome to come over and help me out......
mammie, I know exactly what you mean. If I am cleaning the bathroom or ironing in the bedroom, he comes and watches me. If, I go upstairs, he comes up. If I put my coat on, he wants to come with me. When I clean up in the kitchen after a meal, he stands behind me and I am afraid I may trip on him. If I take the phone into the bedroom to have a private conversation, he gets upset. He wants to hear everything I say. Of course, he doesn't remember anything. If we go to a restaurant he wants to leave the minute we have eaten.
I totally understand. You know I thought I would scream bloody murder if I heard "I don't know" one more time but now I kinda miss some of them and the zillion questions. Now dh is saying "N0,No,No" everytime I ask/tell him to do anything. Also, when he puts something in his hand, trash,toys, glass, etc....it seems like he forgets it is there and will hold it until I tell him to put it down. It is like he only has one hand. He will try to do everything with just the one free hand. puzzeling to me..... good night to all, speak to ya again.