My children keep asking what to get their father. He is late 6 early 7 stage and it is difficult to keep him busy. Does anyone have any ideas that worked for their LO?
Two gifts my dh seemed to like the most was: a soft floppy stuffed monkey with a silly grin on it's face (he would smile every time I gave it to him) and a large box of Snickers (dh has been gone 2 years in Feb. and there are still six candy bars in the freezer)
Check my series on Holiday Tips. It is on the left side of the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com. Click on it and scroll down to Tip #5, which discusses gifts for all stages of AD.
HB always wants a Snicker when we go out. Finding anything for him to do at home is a trial. He doesn't like games or puzzles--never has. Quit doing crosswords months ago. He does things with his support group, but at home, he sits, walks around, naps, walks around, looks for food, ad infinitum. Asked him today if he wanted to go for a walk. "No, I don't walk so good anymore." I've observed that, but he hadn't mentioned it previously. Can't follow much on TV, but seems to enjoy music.
DH can't seem to shave his face any more. He only tries maybe once a week and then he misses half of his berd. He's really getting pretty scruffy looking. I wrote to all 5 of our kids. They all have tgol me that if I wanted anything, to just ask. So, today I did. I wrote to all of them and asked if they would get together and buy their dd a good electric re=azor. I can't shave his face with a regular razor (my eyes you know) but I might be able to make headway with an electric razor. We can always hope.
Zibby, DH loved to look at greeting cards. He would sit for hours going through a basket of cards, (birthday, Christmas, thinking of you) it made no difference. Another support group I belonged to exchanged addresses and we sent cards to each others LO. They all seemed to enjoy getting a card addressed to them. Now would be a good time to see if cards would interest him. With Christmas cards coming in, try putting them in a wicker basket and sitting them next to his chair for him to go through. DH was never a big card player but as he became worse, he would sit sometimes all day shuffling cards around at the table. I only gave him maybe a dozen cards but he would stack them and sort them. I never did figure out what he was doing but he stayed entertained. He also tried to eat them so you may want to watch for that. The large checkers also entertained him. I couldn't give him the regular checkers because he would put them in his mouth. The last two years was spent looking at cards, shuffling playing cards and stacking checkers. It made me feel guilty because I couldn't do something more, but he seemed content and happy so that was all that mattered.
Phil4:13, If I wanted to see a smile all I had to do was give him a Snicker, that worked every time.
My kids asked the same thing. And this is what we came up with:
new tee shirts (he has always worn them under his shirts) PJ pants (with elastic waist) candy (such as Snickers) small toys (if they can manage a Rubic's Cube or such or a child's wooden puzzle, or stuffed animals) a soft "throw" (mini blanket to throw over the legs) Subscription to National Geographic...they can look at pictures long after they stop being able to read.
I just bought my husband a new sweat suit to wear - for the winter days ahead for his Christmas present.
Mawzy, I got my husband a new electric razor a few months ago, and I'm so glad I did! No more nicks! <grin>
Thank you everyone!!! Common thread here is.....SNICKERS!!!!! Fortunately my husband used and electric razor so when he started only shaving half his face with was easier to step in and finish the job.
Zibby, Your DH and mine sound like they are at the same place. Won't sit down during the day. Mine paces, picks up lint off everything and brushes the fringe on the carpet. Life sure is interesting.
Good suggestions here, thanks from me, too. I ordered a 12 piece puzzle yesterday from Springbok through http://www.DementiaWeekly.com Expensive for what it is, but if he doesn't like it, or later, I can donate it to a support group or nursing home.
The 2nd electric razor is "hiding" someplace. First one was taken apart and some pieces are missing. I'm thinking of buying yet another and allowing its use only in my sight. He can't shave himself anymore, and even tho' he always preferred a safety razor, we might do better w/electric now.
Had a problem with DH's glasses disappearing so went to the drugstore and bought a 3 pack of reading glasses. Now I always have a pair for him at hand. Might be a "gift" suggestion :-)
I began helping my DH shaving by trimming his hair. I asked if I could straighten his sideburns and after I finished that I just kept on shaving (an electric razor). After that he would ask me if he missed anything and I would finish the job.
On the recommendation of a geriatric nurse, I bought DH a Discovery Kids animated marine lamp. It is a "fake" aquarium. The nurse said some elderly find it as calming as a real one. We'll see.
I am getting my DH some hoodies for Christmas.. I notice that he always seems chilly so it seems to me if he has a jacket or sweat shirt with a hood on it he can pull that up and it will keep his neck warm and his ears warm even in the TV room..his temps seem to vary from too hot to too chilly.
musical snowglobes, stuffed animals, a small toolbox filled with candies/gadgets. this was a fav for DH for years. he'd open and closeit non stop go thru the stuff and close again, open again.. etc etc etc.. :)
One necessary gift is the emergency caregiver's respite kit.....currently on sale for $9.99. It contains everything you need to get a bit of respite from dementia caregiving. Included in the offer are the following. 1. A blindfold 2. ear plugs (attenuates up to 65 decibles) 3. Two inches of duct tape to cover your mouth 4. A nose filter to block out smells (HEPA approved to 1 micron) 5. A Set of handcuffs This kit is guaranteed to provide at least 1 hour of respite when needed. Longer periods may result in unforeseen consequences
They've got a special up here from ACME on a limited time offer. They include a paper bag with a lifesize color photo of the buyer smiling. I put the bag over my DW's head, smiled, and told the loud obnoxious guy in the waiting room we were twins. That's when my impatient wife snarled out from inside the bag, "Who are you anyways??" When he charged over he took a swing at what looked like the other me and that's when I realized what you could do with this handy kit. Got some applause too from the 189 other people in the waiting room. I need another kit though. I'm not going back for those cuffs.
The new toy of the season - Sing-a-ma-jigs has been a real hit here (to my surprise). Bought two as gifts to give away and DH has bonded to them and won't let me give them away, so I bought others to give as gifts. He talks to them, smiles when they sing or talk and one day we discovered one of the "twins" was missing; we found it on the floor next to his side of the bed.
I wish dh would play with something. Sometimes he will mess with paper and a scissors, cutting something into tiny pieces but that's about all. On his Christmas list besides clothes items I put DVDs of past series of a sitcom that he likes to watch. It features a kind of Archie Bunker figure but then in Rotterdam in the 50s and 60s. It's about the only thing he'll watch with interest on tv. He will look at a news magazine so I keep the subscription up for him. I think he would also watch a lava lamp. Weejun, that Discovery acquarium got a rather bad review on Amazon, but that was a mom who bought it for a child. Interesting that a nurse recommended it. Will you let us know how it works out? I don't think I've ever seen it and I wonder if dh would like it.
divi, you've been such an inspiration and help to all of us, I am so glad I can offer a small help to you. God love sing a ma jigs. As our pink one says "so long". Enjoy. ps even our live in aide enjoys them. Who knew???? I guess we're all age 3- 6 yo. in our hearts.
My husband loved fresh shelled pecans...fresh halves. His sister would send him a pound of the most beautiful, fat pecan halves from Coastal South Carolina every year.
He loved every Christmas toy that either sang, danced, twirled and twisted and banged little cymballs. Anything like that is fun to them. Think silly and they'll love it. I saw the Sing A Ma Jigs and they are adorable and they HARMONIZE!
My husband loves the christmas things that sings. He also has a stuffed leprechaun that sings "when irish eyes are smiling" and a singing birthday card from about a year ago that he plays several times a day.
LFL got the singamajig today. omg its darling! DH is going to love this. the mouth moves and it talks sings. so darn cute. i may have to get one for me. i ordered online at amazon but i saw them at walmart for same price. thanks, its a cute thing. Divvi
divi- splurge and get yourself one. As NancyB says, they harmonize when you press their bellies at the same time. They are too cute and some even have "teeth" which show when they sing. Toys R Us has them on sale for $9.99 this week. What color is yours? We have light purple with orange hair and a pink one.
Joan, I read your blog today and I don't think any of the items you mentioned would suit my DH. I don't think his family played any games together when he was growing up! As far as I know he has never done a crossword or played scrabble. He is not interested in computer stuff and never has been and he is not that far "gone" where he would accept a stuffed toy. I will think of SOMETHING to get him for Christams even if it's only T-shirts and underwear!!!!! I can't think of anything else and he says he doesn't need anything.
Jean21, my husband is in the mid stages - probaly late stage 5, is verry functional and still enjoys the sing a ma jigs (always was a kid at heart). Other suggestions - CD's of favorite .music, DVD of a new movie you didn't have a chance to see or an old favorite not in your library, a gift certificate to a place he likes to go or some sport he's into (DH is a golfer so a gift certificate to a golf range in the Spring would be appreciated), the new electronic scrabble even if he wasn't into the old scrabble, a certificate to a local Y which may have programs he would enjoy, a new e-reader if you have the means (kindle on amazon, nook at Barnes and Noble, Sony), a soft, lightweight fleece to wear indoors when cold from LL Bean (fitness fleece crewneck - $19.00) and I am not associated in anyway with LL Bean (except that I am a good customer), just some suggestions that have worked for us.
LFL. I wouldn't know what my DH's favourite music would be. He is not into sports anymore, he used to play basketball but at 82 I don't think he could run down the court and he isn't at the dribbling stage yet. ROFL. If you come right down to it he just isn't interested in anything. He also has plenty of clothes, dress and casual. Of course the dress clothes just hang in his closet. I am going shopping tomorrow and he asked if I wanted him to go with me and I told him if he wanted. I knew he didn't because he gets tired walking around. I appreciate your trying to help. DH was never easy to buy for because he never really wanted anything. The only thing I would get if I could find it is a stuffed toy that looks like an English Cocker Spaniel. We had one for 13 years and DH has been talking about him a lot lately.
Mimi, my DH loved his fleece vest. He would layer it over a turtleneck and sweatshirt. He got alot of use out of it. How I wish I could buy him something, but instead I will make a donation to the FTD association in his name........................
I am looking for a gift for my home health aid. She is a german lady about 55 yrs old. I have not a clue. Would money be inappropriate? I have no idea what she wants or needs. I have a hard time understanding her. How about a course on how to speak english?
SusanL* My dh has a fleece pullover which is his all time favorite.So I got him an xlarge hoodie so he can have that over this fleece so he can keep his ears and head warm. He seems to always be chilly.
Jean21, the deal here is they are not who they used to be. For heavens' sake, most of our guys were businessmen, military officers and executives....and now they love toys that sing and dance. Don't think about what he USED to like...just try something new ---young. My DH had about 15 toys that pounded drums, played cymbals, strummed guitars and some sang and danced... Totally rediculous... He was an Embassy Officer for the State Department. We have to go with the flow and try to appeal to the child within that will come out. IF you get ONE smile, the gift will have been successful. Nancy B*
Jean21 my husband also did not have any hobbies other than gardening and working. He was really not "into gifts" the buying of and so we stopped exchanging gifts several years ago. He also never wanted anything. He did enjoy candy - any time and most kinds. That would bring a smile. We tried a few toys but didn't work here. Homemade cookies or candy from the kids always brought a smile. He also liked T shirts with cute sayings on the front if they were in subdued colors.
Nancy B* My DH hasn't regressed into childhood. If he has regressed at all it would be young adult and I am not sure about that. He still has a sense of humour so I still get smiles and laughs. We go to his neuro next month so I am curious to hear where he thinks DH is in this disease.
lmohr* The candy and cookies might be a good idea. He has always liked sweets just more so now. He has two gray T-shirts he really likes so yesterday while I was out bought some more for him. He doesn't like the ones with sayings or anything else on! He is very conservative as far as his clothes go.
Our grandson, Dylan, made a Memory Book for his Papa, as we thought that at some point he would not know who we were. That never happenned as the Motor Neuron Variant of the FTD got to him first. However, the Memory Book was a big hit with Jim. Dylan requested that family members bring pictures with them when they came to visit. He would sit with that person and make a page in the scrapbook. It was great therapy for Dylan, age 9/10, then. He made many pages himself that were personal and special, reminding Papa of their fishing trips, camping and love of the Green Bay Packers. They would sit down and look at it together. I would encourage all of you with young children or grandchildren to suggest making a Memory Book for your loved one. It has such a special meaning now for Dylan and I.
Last Christmas my DIL got all the family to send her pictures and she slid them all into a photo album for DH, with a big label on the front saying "Siem's photos". He has spent many hours looking at it, cutting new pictures to fit, changing them around, and has taken the book to day care and to the respite facility where he stayed in october. It gave visitors something to look at with him (all their pictures were in it). The best gift.
She and DS also got us an electronic photo frame, but that was not such a success. He doesn't look at it. I think the screen is too small, because he DOES sit and watch my computer when the screen saver goes on: I have it set to a slide show of recent pictures.
Good for DIL,Jeanette. The Brainbuilders group my hb is in asked for pictures w/information and the grad students made "Memory Books" for each of the guys. The students use it to learn about the guys and it gives the guys a chance to recall people and events. HB looks at it at home, too. So, I brought out other albums we have so he can talk about them. Sometimes he get confused about people and events, but that's okay. Unfortunately, most of our family pics are in boxes:( The group is over until next semester in January, but two of the students asked if they could come and stay with hb on Saturday so I could go do whatever I'd like. Did I turn them down??? Not on your life.
Anyone have any ideas for staff at the nursing home. I certainly can not afford individual monetary gifts and it seems that they get so many gifts of cookies and candy that they have to be sick of looking at them.
My daughter left out the small wrapped candy bars at her last Hospital stay and a sign saying "Help Yourself". They are wrapped so they last longer and are safer than unwrapped cookies. It is the thought that counts...