In the last few months, my dh has had a problem remembering how to get out of the car, etc. Sometimes he starts to get his legs out and then puts them back and gets settled in like we were leaving. I am wondering if his days of going anywhere with me are over. Anyone else?
Oh, yes! I took him to his FP the other day, and I wondered if I'd ever get him in or out of the cab. He seemed to forget how to bend his legs or what to do with his feet. I'm wondering, too, how to manage the next time. It seems to me this has been discussed before, but I don't know under what subject heading. Too tired right now to look for it. It's like they are a deer frozen in a headlight.
Same problem here. DH often doesn't understand "sit down" and several times he tried to sit on the floor of the car rather than the seat. He loves to go....anywhere...and this is so sad.
Yes, that also happened to us. It went on and off for over a year and then one day I thought I would never get him back in the car after a Doctor visit. The next week I knew I would have to have the van with the kneel and squat ramp for the wheel chair. Without this van our life would be so isolated I could no longer keep him home. I bought the Van about 16 months ago and use it all the time. I started looking at the type lift that would turn and lower the car seat for the person to just get in, I soon realized that would not work at all. They change so fast, if you plan to keep them home, and want to take them out anywhere and I do mean anywhere you will need this type vehicle. It saved us.
My husband would sit on the floor of the car also jackie, I know that feeling all to well. If your husband is young enough that you think the disease will last a good while then this will be the best investment you ever made. I bought a used one and have had no trouble with it at all.
People told me I could use the public mobility system but they do not realize with this disease, incontinence etc. you cannot be dropped off somewhere and wait for a van to pick you back up on the route to pick others up. It just would not work.
When I would tell my husband to sit down, he would walk up to a chair, lean over and put his arms on the arms of the chair and proceed to sit. Unfortunately, the chair was in front of him instead of behind him. When trying to get him into the car, he would put his head in and couldn't figure out what to do with his feet.
Thanks for all this input. No wonder my back hurts trying to get him seated in the wheelchair and then putting his feet up on the footrests. There are a couple of appts. coming up, and the only way I'm going to be able to handle it is to call a cab with wheelchair access and hire an aide to assist. Now for the anti-inflammatory meds....
Hey ehamilton...my dw just started doing the same thing...she gets in the car head first, and cannot figure out how to sit....Luckily, I have a Buick Lesabre and it has a big trunk...
In some cities public transit system has wheelchair buses that will come pick you up. You have to call ahead of time an arrange it, but that might also be an option.
Thanks for the comments. I called a local transport and the base fee is $75! I know about the public transport as he could be on there for an hour before being dropped off. He is getting very aggitated when he can't understand what I am saying and is a dead weight so no wonder he has a problem getting up. The other day I stood by the car in the parking lot, waiting for him to understand that I needed him to get up and get into the car. It is so scary when that happens. You wonder if you will be there all day! Hope you all have a good Thanksgiving.
This is happening here, too for about a year. Had to abandon the power wheelchair, as he just couldnt remember how to turn around and sit. In and out of the car can take 15 minutes or 1 hour. It is interesting to watch how the brain just gets "stuck". I have described it as almost Parkinson-like...he gets frozen and cannot continue. If we start barking directions to him ie move this foot, lift this hand...it makes it worse and worse.
The best idea we ever had, when getting out of the car..is to let him sit again, rest for awhile, and start over. Sometimes it seems to "re-set" the brain and the transfer is a bit smoother.
He has issues with sitting, exactly as described so well by EHamilton. He grabs the chair and has no concept on how to turn. We are using a gait-belt now to help direct.
This is all happening now when the State will no longer pay for safety care for his aides. I will be forced to leave him alone for a few hours a day, while I have to work to keep a roof over our heads. It has been documented by Adult Protective Svcs and numerous doctors he CANNOT be left alone. I will pay out of pocket as much as I can to cover the reduction in hours, but I will have to leave him alone. I can also be charged with negligence if something happens to him. What a Catch 22. Financially, I will be filing Bankruptcy in Jan. That will give me some cash flow to cover a few hours. This disease sucks you dry. I wonder what the future holds. Will my DH end up a sad newspaper story? Will I end my life in prison, when after another 15 years of this I cant take his suffering anymore?
Sheltifan2, this is so bad, and I wish it wasn't happening. Praying for some better fortune to come your way. In the meantime, love and hugs and a salute to a gallant lady.
sheltifan2, Have you thought of the hoyer lift as a way to place your husband into the power wheel chair? That is what I have to do. I use the power wheel chair. You can have the joy stick placed so the caregiver can control it from behind.
I went to a support group last month. A woman there told of her DH who had always been quite mellow. All of a sudden, he turned on her and became aggresive. She had to call 911. They took him to the hospital and then he was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. The authorities have charved her with neglect because she waited to song to get help for him. She has been busy collecting afidavits fro her pastor, doctors, caregivers, etc. all stating that he had never geen aggresive before.
I don't drive and have to leave DH alone when I go to the grocery store once a week for about 2 hours. He doesn't wander--n=yet--but I am getting qute anxious about leaving him alone. Coul I be charged with neglect? What is a person suppose to do?
I don't know if this will help any of you, but I'll let you know what I do, just in case it will work for you.
My husband's recliner is a rocker recliner. He can only understand a few words still. I tell him that I am going to stand him up on the count of three, and I hold his forearms and say 1, 2, 3 and pull and put my arms around him until he can lock his knees for a few seconds. Then I take down his pants and tell him we're going to sit again, and I take them off and put a fresh Depends with extra pad on him, and go through the routine to stand him up again. Then holding him upright with my arms around him, I take the two steps backwards, and turn him and tell him we're going to sit now, and he unlocks his knees and sits, then I lift his legs onto the bed, and then lay his head on his pillow, raise the rail, go to the other side of the bed and pull him over until he is centered. I keep the pillow end elevated a little even at night and also a little bend in his legs.
Before he was able to help me more in doing this, but not any longer.
As to getting him in the car, until a month ago, I could walk him to the car, and he could lift the left leg and put it in and I would help him sit on the seat, then raise his right leg, and scoot him over, fasten the seat belt and go. Then, when he couldn't lift his leg, I would back him to the seat and lay him down on it, then raise his legs and bend them and turn them into place, then pull him back upright. It got to where it took two people to get him in the car. Sometimes if you give them time, they can help, but it requires the patience of Job.
Sheltifan, his PCP should be able and willing to order Hospice for him. Once the Hospice managers come and evaluate him, you might get the help you need. Please call his doctor or make a doctor's appointment for him and let him examine him and recommend Hospice for him.
Neurologists help in the diagnosis of Alzheimer's and the prescriptions, but after three appointments (once every 3 months), we stopped going, and she called in the prescriptions for me until Hospice took over a couple of years later.
Mawzy, it is hard to believe in this day and age that the psycho ward wouldn't recognize AD and realize that the patients can snap and it not be anyone's fault!!! That is so sad!!!
Mary, Your method of care is wonderful. I with a bad back could not begin to do as you are doing. I was just thinking today as I took my husband out, if I had not gotten the mobility van I know I would have lost my mind by now.
Mawzy - I hope later you can report back that authorities dropped all charges. That is insane but with all the elder and child abuse going on I can understand to a point.
As for leaving hb alone while you shop - if there is no one I have no idea what they expect you to do short of starvation for both of you.
I can't believe what I am reading. Are these people aware of this disease? I don't think even the doctors understand enough about it - they should become part of this group as it is a real learning experience. But of course they know best! I can't try to lift my dh - he is a dead weight and it took 20 mins to get him up to put him down for a nap. This is very exhausting. If I can't get someone to help so I can go shopping, we have Pavillions delivery (Von's). I tried them in the past and it worked out ok. Took forever for me to place an order (on line). Not like when you shop and can look for bargains but better than going without. I know my dh is really trying to understand. I want to just cry. I have someone from Comfort Keepers coming to talk with me on Wed. Too expensive to have someone here every day. All I really need is someone to help with getting him up and down. I can do the cleaning etc. myself. Each stage gets so much harder to handle. Don't know what we'd do if I was still working. I am afraid to leave dh because if anything at all would happen he would not know how to protect himself or get out of the hospital bed. Your right, a catch 22. I ordered a lift chair and we shall see if that helps at all. So many expenses. I was thinking the other day, this is the first time in my life I have spent so much money - needs not wants.
Here I was feeling sorry for myself and looking for a possible answer to the lift issue and found someone with more problems than I have. Can't believe the legal system would put such a burden on the caregiver and such a threat. God help us all! Too bad we are not neighbors and could help each other more. I'm sure there are answers to all of our problems, we just have to find them somehow. This site has really been a big help to me.
brindle, Please try the hoyer lift for the lifting problems. Believe me if I can do it anyone can. I have severe nerve damage in my back from the shingles, motor root nerve is damaged. The hoyer lift saved us. Without it my husband would be in a NH. The lift does the work for you brindle.
I hate to tell you this but the lift chair will most likely not help you at all, I did the same thing. The lift chair only helped to the point if he was already in the chair I could MAKE him get to the standing position for me but he still would try to sit down in the middle of the floor if I tried to get him to walk.
I use the lift as I said before to get him up, put him to bed, change his briefs etc. It is wonderful and like a 2 person helper with me all the time. brindle please at least give it a try. I feel your pain as I have been where you are.
If you have original medicare it will pay 80% of the cost of a lift and if you have a good supplemental Ins. it will pay the rest of the charges.
If none of these things work, Home Depot rents forklifts for about $39. a day....great for lifting almost anything. It is a bit hard to get it into the house, but if you drive it fast enough, you can get it through the door very easily....and a new door is only $129.00 on sale (contractor pricing) Another great idea is a jar of fire ants....when sprinkled on a person that is sitting, they will not only get up by themselves, but they will walk, run, dance and jump all at the same time...works well also for bedridden patients....
Got dh out of chair and was able to get him onto patio and into wheelchair to use his legs for walking. I thought we would never get back into the house today, but with time he got up. I called a transport company that is from the L.A. County that takes qualified people from their curb to the dr., etc. for a minimal charge ($2 - $3 one way). The caregiver can ride free. It is a shared ride but sounds good. They are sending me an application and then will come to the house to see if we qualify. For some reason getting out of bed seems easier than getting out a the wheelchair or recliner. Can't figure out why yet so I can make an adjustment. Have a nice weekend.
Jane. I completely understand about shingles (just spent 6 wks with them) and bad back. I did look into the lift but it seems like it takes a lot of room (which we don't have). Can you rent them? I also looked into ramps for the doors leading outside but there are so many and some are permanent. Seems like with each stage we are looking for new equipment.
Had Von's deliver groceries and it was nice. Unfortunately, you can't be picky about produce. Nice to know it is available in our area. It is not available everywhere. Just another resource.