Sometimes when I'm helping him, my husband jokingly says "Thanks, Mommy" in a little singsong voice. Then he looks at me and smiles. I can tell that he is joking with me, that on some level he realizes I'm taking care of him as if he is a child. This usually happens when he's in a particularly good mood. He has always teased and joked with me a lot, so I'm not surprised he still does it. But what actually does surprise me that he is able to joke about this subject--needing so much help from me, as if I'm the parent and he is a child. It also shows me that, I guess, he is comfortable taking the help.
Today he wants to pay me for taking care of him. After several explanations that we are married and I've had his money for years (grin), I said you'll pay me later. He hugged and kissed me and told me I'm a person he loves. Let's hope this love-fest continues, in a half hour we are having a new aide for the first time. Funny thing, just like with "normal" people, sometimes there is chemistry and sometimes there isn't.
sigh...My husband called me Mommy too. I always laughed...and so did he. I knew he knew better...until one day when a nurse asked him who I was. In all seriousness, he looked at me and said, "She's my mother!"
Interesting, Marsh! By saying that, at least it seems like they still have a bond with us and realize that we are taking care of them. That should give them some peace of mind and security. I am always trying to reassure my husband that I will be there for him, no matter what happens.
I've read posts in the pasts where some of our caregivers were hurt when called Mother or Mommy. I never was...I knew he recognized me as someone who loved him and that I was someone he loved. Truth be told, I rather felt more like a mother than a wife in the last year or so.
My husband can not speak and has not been able to for some time so he does not call me anything and I am not sure he even knows who I am anymore but I do believe that he recognizes me as someone who loves him.
Well, when it comes down to it, sooner or later we are functioning as mothers. (Even with the younger onset dementias, I would imagine that most people afflicted today were dressed, fed, bathed, etc. primarily by their moms as children.) So I suppose that their comparing/confusing us with a mother is to be expected.
MarilyninMD, my DH has been calling me "mom" for almost a year. He tells our kids I'm his mom, and I think because he's like a 4 year old child, I truly am his mom. Whatever, I guess it comes with the territory. I am not his wife anymore, in any sense of the word, so maybe being his mom isn't such a bad thing. I'll take what I can get. Hang in there!
when you think about it - we are always told men are just big boys. Not so much with men now, but for generations men often started calling their wife 'mom', especially after children and kept it up after the kids were grown. And mom is the one a child always turns to or depends on for keeping them safe.