I always call DH in the morning and afternoon from work. I also go home for lunch. This was a conversation that we just had this afternoon on the telephone.
Me (to DH) -looking out the window at work and seeing someone taking a walk in the snow. "There is some poor sole walking into the wind. He sure looks cold."
DH "What are you talking about and what does that have to with us talking."
me "I am talking to you while looking out the window and I am seeing someone walking against the wind. I commented to you about how cold "they" must be.
DH "now you tell me that there is more than one person. Is there one person or more than one person?"
Me "only one person."
DH "so why did you tell me that there was more than one person."
me "I didn't. I told you that there was someone walking in the snow."
HD "you called them "they" and "there," which is plural so that means more than one person. Why did you call me and try to confuse me?"
Me "I just called to say hi and that I will see you at 5:00. "hang up."
Can you believe this? Now, remember, I only think DH has FTD and he has not been diagnosed. His MRI turned out fine and the doctor thinks that I am looking for problems. This is such a good example of the Executive Function being broken.
As for crying today, almost this morning. What an event-filled weekend. I came to work feeling really down this morning. This however, did give me a smile.
Haha, this is like all my conversations with my husband! Aaagghhhh! Like the ones where he asks me to help him do something and I tell him how to do it and he says "yeah, that is what I was doing." Makes me feel like I am going CRAZY!!!!
I used to have those conversations with my husband. I really miss not being able to talk to him anymore. He doesn't usually acknowlege that I am even there when I visit him now. Make sure to take enough breaks Mary. I never did and I finally hit a breaking point. You really do better and have more patience when you have regular breaks.
We seldom have normal conversations. I have determined two of the issues that seemed to be contributing to the confusion.
The first is that DH does not seem to take in the entire scene any more. He will focus on just one item, ignoring all the surrounding items that would give him the cues to know what is going on. For instance, yesterday I purchased some serving dishes which were weaved with a decorative blue ribbon. When we purchased them, I told DH, I would go out later to buy different ribbon to match our Thanksgiving table cloths. Later, when I left the house, I told DH: I am going to buy ribbon. When I arrived home I removed the blue ribbon from the first plate, washed the plate, and set it down next to several new, brightly colored ribbons. I had already opened the ribbons and pulled a length from each spool to decide which one I wanted to use first.
DH said: Oh, so you’ve decided not to use ribbon?
Me: No. I’ve just removed the old ribbon and washed this dish, and I am about to thread the new ribbon through it.
DH: Oh, I thought you decided to use it without the ribbon.
Me: No, I am putting the new ribbon through now.
DH: Oh. Because it looks good without any ribbon, so I thought you had decided to just use it that way.
Me: <sigh>
The second thing I have observed is that DH is confusing objects for subjects in sentences. I guess that’s because the object is the last thing that is said and that is what he focuses on. This is going to cause my teenage son to have a permanent lilt to his head. When we discuss something, DH often misses the main topic and goes off discussing a minor point as if it where the main topic. My son always casts me a hopeless look, tilts his head slightly, shrugs and will join in with his father on the new topic. My son's a real trooper :)
What is a normal conversation? If we are suppose to be dealing with them in their world then I guess that is a normal conversation to them. I have a lot of conversations like that with my DH and after awhile I just say something like "Oh wow, that is interesting!"
Shannon--I have exactly the same experience--husband asks for help and then says that's what he's already doing. I have often wondered if my husband's brain is tricking him and making him think he's actually doing something he is not. On the other hand, it could just be a problem expressing his thoughts verbally. It happens so much that I'm used to it now.
We had another of these conversations last night. I did not find the humor in it, however. I just got really angry inside wondering when it would stop. I know that it doesn't help to get upset but sometimes I just snap.
You would have been proud of me that I didn't react outwordly. I am just so on edge today and do not want to go home to more of this. We also had something similar on the phone this afternoon.
Back to the conversation. We were watching Ali on TV. It was a little confusing but DH could have followed it if he had tried. I had followed all of this story when I was young. 7, 8 and 9 years old. Ali changing his name (DH knew this), Malcolm X getting shot, etc.
The problems for us were when Malcolm X and Ali were visiting and DH asked me what they were talking about. I refered to them by name and DH kept telling me that they were the same person.
It really was a mess. I think that I got so angry because I wanted to watch the show and DH kept interrupting me.
Mary I know exactly what you mean about your DH interrupting you when you are watching something on TV. My DH does it also when I am reading the newspaper. He doesn't follow a show if there are more than three or four characters and wants me to explain to him what is going on or what someone said. While I am explaining it to him I am missing part of the show!!!! Half the time he doesn't get what I am saying and says he doesn't understand me as if I am suddenly speaking Swahili or something. He seemed surprised tonight when they had about Leslie Neilsen dying. It was in the newspaper and on TV earlier today. I know he had seen it on TV but I guess it didn't register!
My DH is getting so he can't follow a TV program either, without asking what someone said or did. I rarely watch TV with him, except around 5:00 when we have a glass of wine and turn it to NCIS - he knows the characters, but he will still ask me questions. I don't mind, I just let my mind wander and try to relax and if he asks me something and I don't know - I'll just say "oh, I missed that part". He lets it go - and I do too! I guess we forget sometimes, that if the reason button is broken, so is the "follow the show" button! When my son was a little tyke, he would ask me a zillion questions about a TV show - he was more interested in how and why things were done - rather than the plot of the show!
I can't watch Tv with my DH either. He is constanly asking me what is going on. I have tried to tell him that while I am answering your questions I am missing part of the show so I can't answer some of your questions because I don't know what is going on either by then. Vickie, the same here with my DH would rather know "why did that person do it that way or why did they say it that way" Like he is more interested in the mechanics of the show than the show itself.
My wife watches movies all day. I'll ask her what she is watching and she never knows the name of the movie. Nor can she tell you what it is about. I have pretty much given up trying to talk with her it is just too frustrating to figure out what she is trying to say. I spend much of the day in silence of the TV blairing. I think she just goes thru the motions of trying to live a normal life, but she really does not get much enjoyment anymore.
If DH falls asleep while watching TV he wakes up thinking he is part of whatever is going on in the program. Last night he woke up thinking we had to go bake a cake (we were watching Cake Boss). Then he wouldn't get ready for bed saying we had to bake a cake and he didn't know how. It was a long night trying to get him to bed.
Sunday morning I called DH to get up and get ready for church. He wanted to know what day is was. (Sunday?). He said he couldn't get up. I asked why. He said because he was riding his bike to work and he fell off and hurt his foot. His foot was too sore to stand on so he culdn't go to church with me.
I suggested that he was having a dream. He told me he was wide awake and hadn't slept all night long. I asked him what time he'd gone for the bike ride and he said ""You are crazy. You know I don'g have a bike anymore.!"
I said then how come your foot is sore. He said his foot was fine and what was I talking about. He sugested I just go to church and let him rest.
Goes on all the time. Is there a chance if we enter their world, we won't be able to get back out??"