Last night, for the first time, my DH showed signs of having troule speaking. He usually does baby talk in order to hide the fact that he can't think of a word but this was different. I asked him what he wanted to drink and he said "grape juice" and then he looked strange and started babbling like, blah blah blah blub blub, and then said "apple juice." I asked him if he knew what he had done and he said "yes, he said grape juice and then he wanted to change his mind but he couldn't say apple juice. I knew that something like this was going to happen but I was still surprised that it happened that way and I was also surprised that he knew what had happend. Is it good or bad for him, that I point out to him what is going on? As I was writing I also wandered if it is possible that he had a mini stroke. I don't think so but what do you think?
Often when they first begin to have word finding problems, they are aware of it. It is common to use different words and descriptions to try to get to the word they want. In your husband's case, he was filling in nonsense words until or if he could come up with the correct one.
in my case, i chose not to point out any defects as they progress in loss of language skills. he wont be able to correct it and it is part of the disease anyway. i think it would only reinforce the loss even more. divvi
Thank you divvi, I agree with you and most of the time I don't ask. I think this came on so suddenly that I was curious to know if it was part of the disease or if something else was going on.
Very often my DH cannot think of the words he wants to use. He refers to the garage as "downstairs" and a while ago he called his razor the "scraper". Once in a while I will ask him if he means such and such but if I am pretty sure of what he is trying to say I just let it go.
Jean21, one way for me to get in a lot of trouble really fast is to use the wording that you used in your discussion. "do you mean..." Boy does he get mad at me. He says that I know that he doesn't like it when I say that and I am just doing it to make him look stupid.
It makes it a real challange to try to understand what he means if I can't ask. An example is if I ask if he wants milk or water with dinner. He might respond "yes, I would like a glass." If I say, "do you mean milk"..the fight is on. lately, I just guess and, if I guess the wrong way, I don't get in as much trouble as I would have if I had asked.
My dh will often start a sentence, but not finish it, leaving me up in the air, guessing what he was trying to say. I'm getting better at it, since his thoughts are increasingly simple. It NEVER helps to ask him what he meant so I try to avoid doing it, but make a comment that might encourage another statement. Questions seem to put him on the spot so I try to phrase things affirmatively and not really wait for a reaction, which is seldom forthcoming: At the restaurant: You probably want . . In the car: Wow look at that sun. If it's in your eyes you can put this thing down" At bedtime, while playing his favorite sitcom on DVD: " I't's almost time for our bath but maybe you'd like to watch one more show"
Yesterday we were out and I had to stop for some milk. I asked my DH do you want to go in with me or wait in the car. He said "That will be fine". I now see that I need to not ask a question, but maybe make a statement. As in "do you want to go in with me?" It is good that we are talking about this. It will help me out so much.
blue, the biggest thing that I have learned is not give him a choice of too many different things. Like "Do you want to go in with me?" If he says yes then leave it at that but if he says "no" or says something other than yes or no, then ask him if he wants to stay in the car. That works with my DH anyway.
My DW hasn’t been able to communicate for a very long time but she will still try. Most recently, she will mumble a few incoherent words and then actually be mad at me for not understanding what she thinks she said to me.
Now and then I get worried about leaving DH in the car. While I may have the keys, what is to keep him from getting the notion to go for a walk and maybe get lost?
nothing! one of the worse times for me i left DH in the car to run in to get a med. came out less than 5min later he was gone. nowhere. they can travel faster than lightning. i was frantic and had people looking for him up down the parking lots. he was several blocks away in 5min. says he got tired of waiting and was 'looking for me' --- another shadowing issue they cant stay anywhere alone. divvi
I never pointed out DH's mistakes or stumbles. I'd say I didn't understand and often he'd say it right the second time. The mail was the "Badeball", I never knew what drink he was asking for, I'd serve him one and he never said it was wrong. I think it's much like we learned to understand our toddler's babble, but I learned to understand his. I did everything in my power to maintain his dignity and self esteem. Pointing out his shortcomings and mistakes would serve NO purpose whatsoever. He couldn't help himself,, couldn't improve his failures in speech, and I know he tried so hard to hang on. It didn't upset me. It broke my heart.
Nancy B, I will do my best to follow what you posted. Just the other day my DH put his cloths away and mine were missing. They were in with his cloths. I did not say a thing, just waited till he was not in the room and put mine away. DH makes the bed for me every morning, he knows I hate an unmade bed. And sometimes it is not done so well. I wait till right before I go to bed, he is in the bathroom or kitchen. And I remake the bed. But it is hard to not point out that yes you took out the trash, but left the trash can in the middle of the kitchen with no bag. I will work on it. I do need to say that last night DH made me smile. I had a very long day, car in the shop, work, picking up DD, dinner and a softball meeting at school after dinner. Did not have time to do the dishes before we left. When we got home my DH had done most of them. The pots and pans on the stove were not done. But who cares! He helped me:)
divvi, I had something similar happen. We were in a different town and I was looking for the place I was going to go and I stopped the car and walked into a building to ask directions and use the restroom. My DH went with me and I thought he had gone into the building with me and when I came out of the bathroom he wasn't there. I asked the people if they had seen a man come in with me and they hadn't. I went outside and he wasn't there. I went to the end of the block and I couldn't see him. I got on the cell to call for directions and then I was going to call the police if he hadn't shown up by the time I was done. He had gone 2 blocks away on foot looking for the place and came back to get me. That is the first time that I was afraid of losing him. I am sure it will not be the last.
I lost my husband at Dallas airport for 4 hours after flying back from London while waiting for our flight to Arkansas....It's in these boards somewhere...all the details...that was three years ago. The fear.....unspeakable. It was our last flight on a long trip. We took one direct flight to Houston a couple of years ago, but that was the last of those. Now he can't even sit up by himself....nor talk....
We went through the giving him two choices to my asking him if the filet (or spaghetti, etc.) would be his choice to my just ordering for him because he couldn't comprehend what I was saying....and from his eating, to my cutting up his food before passing him his plate to my feeding him a bite, then me a bite, then him a bite, then me a bite....as you can see, I fought giving up going out to dinner tooth and nail!!!!!! <grin> It never bothered nor embarassed me. The five restaurants' staffs all knew us and to extra care with us the whole way. We were fortunate.
Blue, one thing to watch out for....my husband went through a period of unloading the dishwasher BEFORE it had been run, or loading dirty dishes in the CLEAN dishwasher without unloading it first (necessitating re-washing everything!) <grin> You will get to the point that you will hurry to load the dishes and start the dishwasher to be safe!! <grin>
Mary, Guess what, I have never had a dishwasher! We still do it the old fashion way. And I do check to make sure all are clean before I put them up. On a side note, our DD is in home skills class this year. Right now they are cooking. One day her group went in to do their cooking for the class and the dishes were dirty. They had not been cleaned, what to do. No dishwasher! Our DD was the only one who knew how to do the dishes by hand. Kind of funny but still kind of sad.
We have had dishwashers over the years but I rarely ever used them. I never had enough dishes, especially pots and pans, to fill it up. So I did them the old fashion way. I would use the dishwasher to put them in for drying. My hb has done the dishes the last two days - surprised me since it has been a while since he did them. He has even been on a vacuuming kick!
Back to babbling - my mom would do it too. At first it would be until she found the words, then it was just babble with nothing we could figure out. Art's dad also did it so it is just progression of the disease in the language center.