Finally today, with all inspectors, estimator gone, husband FINALLY out of the house, I could make my calls. Told a counselor at the Alz. Ass. my situation. She referred me to 4 certified elder attorneys. (Even SHE said I needed an attorney.) The 1st one wanted $325 for a consultation. The second one was a free consultation. I took the free one based on the discussions I have read. Have to wait until July 16th, but the world won't come to an end before then. The counselor told me the elder attorney could advise me what route to take. Divorce vs. conservatorship (?).
Honestly, if not for you all, I would have ignored my situation. It's amazing how you get used to the craziness. My only concern now is that I've alerted my husband's brother, and based on the fact that my husband has squandered his substantial inheritance, he wants him to be deemed mentally incompetent. That may not be in my best interest, from what you have told me, it could be costly, etc.
So I am going to ask his brother to wait until I've met with the attorney to do anything. Hopefully he will agree. It ocurred to me this morning. 2/3 of our belongings are in storage. If he runs out of money to pay the storage at over $200 per month, I'll have to pay it or lose it all. I'm tempted just to hire a mover & get it all back into the house, at my expense.
Thank you all !!!! I feel so relieved now that someone can guide me through the legal issues. This attorney gives talks at the Alzheimer's Association here.
(Conservatorship would give you legal authority to make healthcare and financial/legal decisions for your husband, whether he wanted you to or not. I suspect you won't want to go that route ... but it is something to discuss with the attorney.)
Me too, Val, its always a great relief to step up to the plate and get things done you have been avoiding. I procrastinate as well alot of the time but when things get done and over its a huge burden lifted. i am sure after consulting with your atty you will be on your way to sorting this mess out. congrats! next time it will be easier. divvi
When things fell apart around here, I was referred to a financial/retirement planner experienced in senior financial issues, including diabilitating diseases, Medicare-caid, and the like. Wish I could refer you to mine! But if you can find one, my experience was EXCELLENT! And free! They are devoted to helping seniors (and anyone) who needs to know options for their future. They can't help with a divorce, but they can help you understand what you might be facing liability-wise and retirement and all that. I strongly reccommend one! I went to the consult convinced I was in a deep deep hole, and came out realizing I was going to be OK after all.
Got my appointment bumped up to June 26th. That's just next week! Will wait to see what the elder law attorney says about a divorce attorney. Hopefully he will be able to guide me through this mess. Thinking I should write a brief explanation & send it prior to the appointment, so I don't have to take up my entire free hour explaining things.
Make yourself a list with bullet points and in some kind of reasonable order. Make yourself a list of questions and bring two copies of both lists. The attorney is unlikely to read anything before s/he sees you. But if you are organized you will get a lot more out of the meeting.
All I can think of is my daughter preparing for the meeting with the designer when we bought this house. I was in California and too sick to come to Pennsylvania. She had EVERYTHING written out including all of the part numbers for everything we needed to choose before they would start building. And it all got done in the FIRST (in my case only) 4 hour meeting. They were amazed. It can take as many as 5 or 6 meetings to get everything done. The designer actually had time to help my husband, daughter and son-in-law with the things that designer's enjoy doing.
So take a clue from my daughter and ORGANIZE, organize, organize everything before you go.
yes, Val, just get really organized like Starling says. my DH was one of the 'super attys' traveled all over the world trying cases. believe me ifyou fax it prior and he reads it, its prep work and will be billed:) ha. glad to see you got it bumped up. sooner is better. divvi