I've been up and down since shortly after midnight. Almost the worst night hb has had for staying in bed. Up and down most of the night. At 4 he asked "Aren't we supposed to go someplace today"? "Yes for lunch at 11:00. That's about 7 hours from now; look at the clock on the microwave." I know he can't read analog; so.... Hesitates; "Where's the microwave"? While I was preparing breakfast at 7, he went to bed. We're off to a good start on a sunny, autumn day. As Tiny Tim said, "God bless us every one."
Jeanette, welcome back, and I am glad you had a good trip to the U.S. and that Siam did well with your absence. My husband does well with my absences each month, but he can sulk like a child for a couple of hours (while drinking the chocolate malt I always get him on the way home!) <grin> - and he will sleep a lot the first 24 hours afte I bring him back home. The usual respite each month is 5 days, but I had a conference, so he was in for 7 days this time.
I hope each of you who are where there is fall foilage are enjoying the lovely colors! Wow! The Ozarks are gorgeous now!
We are having beautiful fall temperatures. It is a shame I am in an office and can't be out enjoying this weather! <grin>
My Razorbacks won, and Bama's Tide is waltzing up there in the rankings! Way to go, Bama!
Glad to read your posting. I'd missed you these past few days, but now I see that you were away at a conference. The stepkids have upped their aggravation by dismissing a care aide at the Care Facility that I hired to help DH with his meals. They have no authority to do this, of course (I am his Health Care Representative), and he needs that help as he's lost a lot of weight, and is not eating. I'm there to feed him one meal a day, but I can't be there all the time. Have to confess that lately the thought of voo-doo dolls has crossed my mind, but I got in touch with the lawyer instead. It would be a pity if I had to withdraw their visiting privileges, but I can't let them interfere with his care. Not that the 3 of them visit that much. Even though they all live in town, the son came twice last month, one daughter twice last month, and the other daughter, once in July. I get the distinct impression that they would rather he died sooner than later in order to get his money.
Hi, everyone, from Mohonk, New York!! Delivered horses...done. Left at 8am and got here around 5:30ish. Marsh.....was it you that said that you and your wife used to come up here once in a while? Oh, My Gosh.....this place is REALLY NICE!! Just got back from dinner.....soooooooooooo good, can't describe it! And so beautiful here. And all the leaves are mostly GONE! Well, goodnight, everyone. Can't stay, although I was invited to. Need to head back home immediately in the morning (sigh...I mean....this is a SPA and lovely resort............and a freebie).
We have a huge old Japanese cherry tree along our driveway which fills half of the view from my window here. Right now the leaves are fiery orange, half of them still on the tree and half on the ground where they make a golden carpet. This is one of those breezy days when a gust of wind will send them showering down -- beautiful sight. Even dh sat and gazed at it yesterday. The tree is one of my blessings.
JeanetteB...I know what you mean. I remember a stretch of road I used to traverse when i took my daughter to school in the Fall (MANY years ago). The trees were ALL small golden leaves, just showers of gold in the breeze in that beautiful early morning kind of sunlight. HEY...I'm home from New York! My cat and hound dogs missed me, mightily! I had a very fun "road trip" by myself, hurried as it was. Tomorrow, I will go through my reciepts (gas) and figure out if I really made any money....or just broke even.
Hope everyone is okay. I just check in once in a while to see about everybody. Love you all. Jen
The leaves here in KY are just beautiful right now. After our trip to FL to my Mom's funeral, I am finally sort of getting back to our schedule. But I have a cold now and really don't feel like doing anything - so haven't! Also having computer problems and can't get on the net most of the time. AWKK
DH seems much better after going off Aricept and Namenda. Been keeping a log of each day. Last two days, he has not asked the same question twice, let alone a thousand times! He seems not to be in a "fog" as much, has more energy and seems to be walking a little better. Hope it continues like this.
Snow flurries due this weekend - hope they'll be those great big flakes - they are so pretty flurrying down. I love winter!
Watched the little ones this morning while mom had a meeting not related to work (state only pays for daycare while at work). I walked in, sat down and Noah (age2) came over and walked circles around me asking what happened to my hair. I told him I got it cut so it would be short like his (butch) but not quite as short. He just kept wanting to know what happened to it. So after taking sister to school we came to the motorhome and I showed him my ponytail. Most hairdressers around evidently do not send them to locks of love anymore.
Rain stopped and tomorrow is suppose to be around 70 with rain coming back for the weekend. In the last week lots of snow in the mountains so they are beautifully white, especially when the sun shines on them.
The amount of sugar in the leaves determines how bright colored the leaves get.
It was in the 80s these past couple of days here on the Central Coast of Kalifornia..home of fruits nuts and flakes as some say. Absolutely beautiful day here. Took DH to Finns, a seafood place at the beach today for lunch..the waves were about 6ft and loud..it was gorgeous... And for the first time in weeks I think the PT is starting to pay off..at least I didn't hurt so much..felt almost normal again..but I know I have at least 2 to 3 more months of PT to go.
Stunt Girl, glad your trip went so well! Hope you made some money. Vickie, I hope your cold is over soon so you can enjoy the lovely fall (hold on, let's not be too eager for WINTER -- I'm just getting used to fall). We're expecting friends over this afternoon -- haven't seen much of them lately so I'm curious whether dh will recognize them. Anyway it inspired me to leafblow the driveway and (what I still have to do) wash the new car that they haven't seen yet. I haven't washed it yet. I'm not even trying to figure out how long I've had it! Meanwhile I'm sitting here having a cup of coffee, looking at the lovely trees and reading the new posts here.
DH and I went yesterday for our eye check. I knew DH wasn't processing what anyone says and it happened yesterday. The young woman doing the check wanted DH to concentrate on the Z and kept reading all the letters out. He has to go in January to have laser treatments on a film that's formed behind the lenses from the cataract surgery. I have to get new glasses but I went back this afternoon to have the concretions removed from my eyes (after two years of complaining). I knew the doctor would numb my eyes but I didn't know it would be with a needle and they hurt like crazy! I go back in a month.
Haven't been on the chat page for quite a while but have read Joan's Blogs. Found I was obsessing too much on the dx. and not enough on my DH so took a break. It did help but he's at another crossroads and I am considering whether to place him or not. Always thought I would care for him at home but he is becoming too paranoid to have a stranger come into the house to help. Hoping to be able to last until CHristmas as all our family will be here.
I have just endured another sleepless night where DH was up and down, wandering around and begging forgiveness for what I don't quite know. Has anyone encountered this behaviour in their LO , I don't know just how to handle this problem which has only just occured in the last few months. He seems OK during the day but becomes an entirely different person at night, a whimpering, agitated, clingy child. I am not unsympathetic to him and try my best to please him, but the night expeditions (?) are getting me down. The children will not help with him overnight due to his nightly ramblings, therefore there is no chance of getting a break, and I can't blame them as they all have to go to work. I guess he is stage 4/5, but don't really know how to tell, as he seems good one minute and not the next. If anyone has encountered this problem, I would be grateful to hear from them, Hugs to all carers.
sylvia, my DW keeps saying "I'm sorry" about stuff that isn't real and she can't explain. In fairness she's beyond explaining anything but there's no sign as to what these episodes are about. I hope they're not an awareness inside that they're being trouble in the sense of needing care. That doesn't make sense because then there would be some other signs that's there's some kind of cognition going on. And there isn't any beyond sometimes being able to say yes I would like a cup of tea or agreeing that dinner was good. In fact she now thanks me sincerely for holding up the nightgown and helping her slip into it or pulling the socks off etc. I think there that her self denial that she has AD has also broken down and some of those realities are not being blocked anymore. We're about 6C so a fair ways ahead of you. This apologizing has been around for some months now.
We had the first hard frost up here. Everything was covered in white sparkles two mornings ago. Nice sunny sixty degree day today though. We celebrate halloween in October mostly I think because it's fricking cold up here by November. I hope everyone has a good thanksgiving this month and that everyone is satisfied with the election outcomes. As a Canadian who studied political science I think you guys have a good three part system and republican/democrat principles go right back to the founding fathers. Where I think it could have been improved is if there had been some founding mothers. (grin)
Correction: I wrote that we celebrate halloween in October. I mean to say thanksgiving. I think I'm high on eating my way through the 45 candy bars I had left.
Sylvia - go to the top and click on search. Then to the right click on advance search. Go down to the second search and put in tops you are searching for. The first might work but I always get more luck with what I want with the second one. Try them all and you will find many here have had the same problems you have and what their doctors prescribed.
Tomorrow we take the MH into Camping World to find out what is wrong with our furnace. It doesn't always want to work - my diagnosis is the control board so we will see if I am right or not. Then we will come back to my sister's and I will then decide where to go for the winter - whether to the sunny south or just up north to our membership parks. Whatever, we are both ready to travel again.
Thanks Wolf K and Charlotte for your ready replies, I have just put DH to bed with the same result as other nights, I'm afraid and it's starting to unnerve me. I realise that I must keep my head for both our sakes, but it's hard. I'm in Australia Wolf K and we're supposed to be getting into our summer, but it is still quite cold, very unseasonable.We down here have just really started celebrating halloween these last couple of years, until then it wasn't widely done - the trick and treat thing ! I live in a smallish country town about two hours from our capital Canberra, we don't have a lot in the way of resourses that I'd robably find in the cities. You are lucky Charlotte to be able to still travel, we had to give that one a miss and sell our lovely caravan I do miss that. Thanks again both of you for your replies and I'll go now and have a look at that second search. Your DW is fortunate you can do the care giving thing Wolf K, my DH wouldn't have managed if things had been the other way around I know.
Well dh as I feared did not recognize his oldest friend and it's their own fault for not coming round for (at least) two months. It really startled them so now they have invited us over for dinner next week already!! In all fairness they have been very busy babysitting their grandchildren of which a couple are a five-hours' drive away. I was careful to make no hint of indignation but just appreciation for their visit now -- and it was good. After half an hour or so dh seemed to thaw out a little, stopped frowning and starting smiling and making his irrelevant but good-humored comment. I loved talking to them. Old friends are best after all. You know all about each other and can pick up where you left off. Today I did something I've never done before -- went to a movie all by myself. Treated myself to a Tom and Jerry's ice cream too. Loved it (both the ice cream and the movie).
Jeanette, Good for you for thinking of yourself & treating yourself. RIght now I am so worried about my DH being a burden to my daughters when I leave him with them that I only do what I have to when I am out (even though they tell me to take some time for myself).
God bless your daughters for being willing to look after your DH when you have to be out Elaine H, and good for you Jeanette, getting out to a movie (and ice cream) by yourself. I haven't tried going to anything social by myself yet, I still feel, when I even go shopping that half of me isn't there, silly isn't it ?
sylvia, it's NOT silly. I don't feel right asking anyone to stay with DH. I tried to quit my job but my boss said that I should at least work one day a week (he is a good Christian man who I'm lucky to work for). My daughters insisted that I take my boss up on the one day a week & they said that they would let their Dad stay with them. But I was never the type to ask for help before & even though I know we are supposed to ask I just can't bring myself to do it.
Hope today is betterthan yesterday. Just wanted to stay asleep. Nothing still yet resolved about John's Medicaid eligibility....it just goes on an on. So discouraged. And the lawyer is costly. Another bill...another retainer due. Wanna be thrown under a fast, big bus. WHAM! Over. This all seems too cruel. Its been over a year since we filed. Crazy. Trying to get a job. HA! How do you put together a resume if you haven't worked in almost 30 years and have no skills? Well, the sun is shining today, that's good. I don't have to go anywhere, I can work on what needs to be done here. You all have a good day.
Sun is out here but the temps dropped..was in the 80's and 90's but now you do need that hoodie or jacket..rain in the plans for the weekend so must go do the errands today.. Daughter left yesterday for her music seminar..house too quiet.. A fun thing yesterday at the airport, she got through security and once past the screeners, one of them asked if she really knew how to play a ukulele. They asked her to play something to break up the boredom. She said yes and she played and sang " Somewhere Over the Rainbow" ( she has a 5 octave voice ).Everyone in the airport was clapping for her even the Sheriff!
Winter has arrived here early. It is supposed to be 32 degrees tonight! Next week, however, the lows will be in the 50s. It is definitely time for the layered look! Because it has been so dry the fall colors aren't as pretty as they have been in past years, but they are still multi-colored.
Mimi, your daughter sounds talented and a people person to boot!
Elaine, the name of the game of Alzheimer's is flexilibity. What we didn't do( or did do)before AD can be tossed for the duration. We do what we NEED to do to survive. Work that one day a week and ask for help when you need it. I never had asked for help before..but do regularly now. In fact, several people come to me with offers of specific help! One yesterday said that whenever I got ready to decorate for Christmas to call her and she would come over and help me!
We can not do it all by ourselves....we need at least one day off a week or two mornings off a week - not to do needed chores or bill paying or grocery shopping - but to get our hair or nails done, or have lunch with a friend, or shop for Christmas presents...or relax at the public library and read a while AWAY FROM HOME....(please note those key words!) <grin> This advice comes from someone whose husband is in stage 7e.....it has been a long road, though in reality a short time..January 2007...not quite three years. But I've been through the ringer, and so far, have survived. I have been on an emotional roller coaster for the last year and a half, and am determined to survive...So I'm loaded with advice to help all of you too! <grin>
Being in the "after" adds a different perspective. However, the fact that I made it a habit to do something for myself on a regular basis is helping a lot now. All I have to do is maintain that habit of making plans and going out with others and doing something for just me.
Setting in place good habits and doing things for yourself on a regular basis will help you adjust to life without them.
So, tonight I have a very hot date with my knitting needles. I have 11 rows to finish the afghan I am making for my sister's birthday (tomorrow). As my fur kids keep checking in to make sure that my purrs are all right, knitting around them can get very interesting.
Mary, ((HUGS)) to you & thanks for the advice. Today was another lesson. When we go on errands, if I have to drop something off & I'm only going to be in the building for a few minutes DH stays in the car. Well today I dropped into our doctor's office to pick up some Namenda & I admit I was in there for about 10 minutes talking to a friend in the waiting room. Well, just as I was leaving a man came in & asked if there was a Mrs. Hurley in the room. I said yes & he said, well you husband is in the parking lot & he says that he can't find you. (The Red Cross volunteers were in the parking lot having people sign Christmas cards for the service men & women overseas & we had just been there). Then he said that he was fine & the volunteers were keeping him company. Next we went to another place where I was dropping of an Avon order & I told him I would be right back. I could literally see the desk where I was dropping the bag off from the car so I thought it would be OK. Wrong. I ran in dropped it off & as I was coming out he was getting out of the van. I asked him what he was doing & he said that he didn’t know where I wanted him to go. Great. So now I know that I can’t leave him in the car alone even for a minute. Sure wish I could run my errands by myself. I think I will ASK my daughters if they can give me an afternoon once in a while.
therrja*...I have a hot date with my television and warm cat. I can't wait for it to get dark so I can put my brain to sleep in front of the idiot tube. Maybe I should drag out the box of crochet stuff I haven't touched in a while. Make something for someone. String some beads, make a necklace, anything.....blow glass on the front porch if its not too breezy. Meanwhile, I AM looking forward to a visit from a high school girlfriend next weekend. That should be different, at least.
Spent half the day looking at want ads for jobs I could do. Nadda. Then, hit the bookkeepping stuff....armed with my Clonapan. Keep getting updates from my friends at the year end horse show. I feel left behind....and I hear my pony is being an ass. Later. Jen.
Mary, my husband, too, was diagnosed in Jan./07 and is now in stage 7e. It seems to be going too, too faster now. He's almost 91, so that's a factor, too.
Well another realization of what this disease has taken away from me. We went to our granddaughter's soccer game today & DH was cold. Yes it was only 50 degrees, but we were bundled up & I'm usually cold, but I wasn't. He complained so much that we didn't go to our grandson's flag football game (I was really disappointed). Then later our grandson called to tell me that he played his best game of the season (it was all I could do to keep from crying). So now this disease dictates what we (I) do. Damn.
Finally getting re-oriented after our trip South, still have a bad cold/cough; my computer crashed and is in the hospital! LOL I use DH's laptop when I can get it away from him - like now. He seems to have recuperated better than I have.
Weather has turned cold here but DH doesn't seem to mind it this year, at least so far. Still see no difference in him after taking him off Aricept and Namenda, except he doesn't ask me the same questions as often - YAYYYYY! And his walking is better, doesn't get as dizzy and his balance seems better. So, I'm glad I did it. Now, we'll see what his Dr. says next week at his appointment!
Hope you all will have a peaceful night and Sunday.
Elaine - you might want to consider battery operated warming socks and possible hand warmers. Is there someone who can watch him for at least part of the games or can you sit in the car and he can play on his laptop?
Charlotte, Thanks for the ideas. I'll check into the warmers cuz the kids play outdoor spring sports too! Sadly he has lost all his computer skills. I got him an iPhone a year ago when I got mine, but he just couldn't get the hang of it so I got him a regular cell phone & he couldn't even figure that out (no matter how many time I showed him).
We are getting ready for another winter. I am not looking forward to the cold weather. It is going to get really cold really fast here and they are already talking about snow. As my DH is getting worse he is more sensitive to cold weather. I am just taking one day at a time like all of us.
Yesterday morning I had the TV on listening to it while I snoozed. Then all of a sudden we heard this crackling noise which cause the cat to bolt and us bolt up. We had to buy a new tv moving the old front one to the bedroom and putting the new one in the front of the motorhome. Now how to install it - because it is a flat screen (could not find the good old type) it does not fit the opening. How to do it without overwhelming hb is the question. We made a pile of things to set it on for now - which is working out OK - but will need to decide how to install it. No fun thing to think about!
Other than that, just watching it rain, blow, sun breaks, etc. The lady next door is outside for 2-3 hours in the morning blowing leaves then another 2-3 hours in the afternoon cleaning leaves. Makes me so happy when all the leaves have fallen cause we hear it. My sister doesn't in her house, but our walls are thinner.
You know who I admire? I admire all the caregivers here & everywhere who have to work full time & then do the caregiver role. I only work one day a week & I didn't appreciate how lucky I am until this week when I have to work 3 days. I'm only on day one & I'm already exhausted ( & I didn't even have to make dinner. We went across the street to our daughter's house for dinner). I can't imagine working full time & then dealing with DH in the evening. So to all the caregivers who have to work full time & be caregivers too....you are my heroes! ((HUGS 2 U!))
Right on, Elaine! I work 1-2 hours, 2-3 days a week. Really nice law firm I work for - they GET IT!
I feel like I'm back into the 'land of the living" (?) Been without internet service since Thursday. Computer still isn't up to par, but at least I can connect now. Been reading and trying to catch up with all of you.
DH has recouperated better than I after our trip south to my Mom's funeral. Still have a bad cold and not much energy. But weather is beautiful and I got outside today and worked some in the yard and feel better.
welcome back vickie! loss of computer is downright stressful bar none! so true about those who work and are caregivers on top of it. profound respects to you. divvi
It has been a long time since I have been on here and much has changed. DH is officially "retired" from ever working again and is receiving SSD. After 27 years as a Human Resources Manager at Boeing, he "retired" to a substitute teacher and bus driver. That career has since ceased per doctors recommendations. He is on Namenda, Aricept,Azelect, and Carb/Levo. I don't see much improvement after the Namenda was added 6 months ago.
I have worked for 6 years as a speech/language assistant at our elementary school but have decided I would feel better if I were at home full time. My last day is this Friday. I hope to add some structure to DH's day so he doesn't sleep all afternoon. Our 18 year old granddaughter moved in with us in September and that has been a God-send for me. She adds a breath of fresh air to our stale home!
I spend each evening after everyone has gone to bed on this site. Cruising the boards as they say. Sheila
Am in a bit of a rush today and will go back and read all the posts later..but this is for Joan.. I sent you an email with some quips that everyone here might enjoy..all clean..but clever. I just am so stupid about the cut paste thing that I'll leave it up to you to decide if it is worth your bandwith...
With tax season coming in the not too distant future, here is one of the tid bits..
Did you ever stop to think that the work the and irs spells THEIRS?
Not a good day today. DH has been in a mood for the past few days. He is into the “why are you stealing my things” phase. Also he feels like he has water in his ears & he thinks I’m putting it there. I asked him if he remembered me pouring water in his ears, but he had no idea what I was talking about. (Silly me, I tried to reason with him & I KNOW that his reasoning button is broken.) He had an ear infection a few months ago & our family Dr. suggested that he see an ENT specialist, but DH wouldn’t go. I’m sure there is something going on with his ears & maybe they are plugged up & that’s what makes him think there is water in them, but I am getting tired of being blamed for EVERYTHING! It has been so stressful the past few days that my jaw hurts from clenching it & I am EXHAUSTED. Thanks for listening.
I am thinking about how slowly this disease seems to move, nearly 3 yrs into it and I have to cut up her food for her, help dress her, she can not do clasp or buttons. Her eye hand co ordination is gone. Yet she seems to take it all in stride, I seem more bothered about things than she. This is the cruelest disease yet divised by ...
Today I made two bold steps! I've made arrangements for my hb to stay in a dementia facility for a week in December. We had lunch and a tour there last week, and I went back unannounced today after visiting one other and talking via phone to another. I haven't told him and won't until the day I take him, probably. Then I made reservations to fly to our son & his family's home for a week's visit. I'm excited to say the least. I actually think it will be good for him because it's a small facility, and he'll be busier than he is sitting at home.
I think a good dementia facility offers our LOs much more stimulation and hopefully a better quality of life than just sitting at home either dozing or looking at the TV.
Sometimes I sort of wish my DH was further along so he could be placed. I'm sure I will be like everyone else and dither around about placing him when the time comes and I am sure I will miss him. I could have done it yesterday because he was getting on my nerves BIG TIME! There are days I just want to be left alone and I know DH can sense my moods which probably doesn't help him but I am not an actress to where I can fake anything.
Bluedaze, I agree. Sometimes when I get tired of the glitches at the Care Facility, I think - briefly - of taking him home. But he would insist on staying upstairs in his study, and I would be his only contact 24 hours a day. There would be no walking down long halls with rails on each side or new, young faces to see and interact with, different meals to surprise, religious ceremonies to watch (there is a Synagogue in the facility) and the liveliness that comes from being around other people. Jean 21, you are in what was the most difficult period for me. It got easier as the disease progressed. Sadder, but not so crazy-making.
Well we are off..to Pasadena for the big induction for DH in the John Muir Hall of Fame. It has been a trial all week with him wanting to organize and control every aspect but not getting it straight. I thought I would lose my mind. NO he is not driving as I type this..My bil is driving..planned that when I was having back spasms just to make sure DH would get there. It is interesting here in the back seat..he and his brother are chatting up a storm but if I were driving I would end up listening to the radio...go figure.
Anyway we are staying at some friends in Pasadena and then after the bid do he is being joined by his pals from his kindergarten days for dinner so we will get home Sunday. It is nice to be in the back seat with my toys.,the computer, cameras and just me myself and I...
After almost a week of bad days we had a good one today. Didn't start out that way. I asked DH if he wanted to go to the Veteran's Day program at the grandkids elementary school. He said yes, so I told him we would go only if he took a shower. He balked at first, but gave in. We went & had a good time. He kept chatting with anyone who would listen & I had to flash the Alzheimer flash card I made (It says 'Please be patient he has Alzheimer's), but all in all he behaved. We went to both morning & afternoon performances. All the classes sang patriotic songs & it was nice. Right now he is still in a mellow mood. Hope it lasts a while!
A beautiful day here with the sun shining but cool.
We just got home from attending the funeral of DH's best friend - 90 years old! Wasn't sure how DH would handle it, but he was aware and did extremely well. His GP was there also and commented on how well DH is doing (?). He has an appt.with this GP next week, and I have my 'log' ready to fax to him tomorrow. As we have all said - they do so well when out with others! This death, so soon after my Mom's death, I wasn't sure how he would handle it. But, so far so good.
He has now been off Aricept and Namenda for a little over a month - no downward turn and he seems to have more energy.