I invite you to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - to read the latest blog. It is informative, and I hope it will help you understand the hearing/processing issues that your spouse may be having.
Joang, very interesting blog. My wife has both problems - hearing and processing. However, as I have mentioned before, I will not be doing anything about the hearing. She won't keep the hearing aid in, and then chewed it in half. At over $2000 for the hearing aid, that's pretty expensive candy.
Joan this is very timely. Several weeks ago I suggested to my husband that he should have his hearing checked. He, of course, rejected the idea because that's the way we roll :) Getting him to do something is always a process. So I have begun the process. Maybe within a month or so he'll come around, as I subtly drop hints here and there.
I'm so glad you shared this info. Who knew an audiologist could determine how much is being processed as opposed to how much is being heard? Not me! As a matter of fact, I was hesitating to suggest the hearing test because I know he has processing issues, and thought they might skew the hearing test.
Are all audiologists equipped to analyze the processing part, or do you have to ask ahead of time?
I don't know if all audiologists can analyze the processing part. I would definitely ask ahead of time. He gave Sid the same type of test that I used to give to my students to determine auditory processing problems, so I recognized it right away, and was able to interpret the results myself, before he even said anything. As I was listening to Sid do the test, even I was surprised that he was as bad as he was.
Your post is very informative, Joan. I really never thought about the processing part. Now when he's in the next room and asks me a question and I have to answer it 2 or 3 times and on the third time end up shouting my answer, I now know why. Thanks, Joan.
I have known for sometime that my DH isn't processing what is said and I am sure he has a hearing problem. He refuses to have a hearing test so I guess we will just repeat and repeat and repeat! I don't think he processes what he sees either. Yesterday, for some reason, he decided to look for his discharge papers from the Air Force. He asked me where they were and I told him he had put them in a black binder several years ago. Of course I had to get the binder for him. He went through it and was getting aggravated because he said it was all civilian stuff. I got the binder and the first few pages were our birth certificates and marriage license. The next pages were his discharge papers from the Air Force and after that was the pages with the paperwork from his civilian retirement. For whatever reason the Air Force papers didn't register!
For processing problems, repeating doesn't help. You need to rephrase what you are saying in much simpler, shorter sentences. Because there is also a hearing issue, you'll have to speak louder and more slowly, looking straight at him.
Joan, I know about speaking slowly and louder than I normally speak and also about rephrasing but to me it is still repeating, just doing it a different way!
Being able to hear how Sid hears really opened my eyes (and ears!), so I am trying even harder to be patient, get his attention, look straight at him, and speak loudly, slowly, clearly, and in short sentences. It is tiring and certainly does kill conversation, but I figure it's worse for him.
Do you have Costco in your area? They have brand name hearing aids much cheaper than anywhere I could find (bought some for my mother recently). We were lucky to find a Costco location that had an experienced tech - someone who had worked at one of the leading hearing centers for 15 years. That is important for adjustments and getting them just right.
A friend bought her hearing aids at Costco -they were more than half off the price of the name brand ( I think miracle ears) but were the same hearing aid. I think she paid around $2000 and miracle ear wanted something like $4500. Still a lot but if you can afford them a much better deal.
Thank you so much for this blog! I knew that my DH was having this problem and I would try not to get upset when he couldn't hear me. I sometimes thought he was just not wanting to hear me and that was when I would get upset. I think in general men get a bad rap because of not listening to their wife but there is a difference between hearing and listening. Even though I know he is not doing it on purpose it still gets irritating and knowing that this is how the brain processes language helps a lot.
Deb, your comment about men not listening to their wives reminds me of earlier this month when I was putting my wife in the hospital for my 5 day respite. She was, as usual, chatting about something that seemed to have little to do with the present reality. I was talking with the doctor who was going to be taking care of her. Suddenly she looked at me and said "are you listening to me?" Needless to say both the doctor and I tried to figure out what she was talking about.
Marsh, that is so funny! Good for her!! We all want to be heard and listened to even if it is hard to understand us. I am having the same problem only in reverse. He says things to himself, to the picture of the teddy bear on the wall and then after several minutes of that he says something and it is directed to me and I didn't know it.
My husband was slow to process what he heard for the last two years. Occasionally, you can say lift your arm and he will, or open your mouth, and he will. BUT when you asked questions requiring answers, that took a long time to respond. I remember 3 years ago we had his hearing checked and he passed the test, even though his reaction time was slow. It got a lot slower over the next year.
Eyes are the same - the vision perception goes (with my husband it went three years ago and then this year, the eye drops stop, since they can't read or understand what they are seeing.
Here is today's example of faulty processing. I was talking on the phone to my friend, and said, "Sid is making a salad." He was no more than six feet away from me, sitting looking at me. He said, " I'm not taking a shower." Somehow his brain processed, "Sid is making a salad" into "Sid is taking a shower."
Is it any wonder they don't know what we are talking about?
Joan, that conversations reminds me of a TV commercial that is going around now. You never know what others think we are saying....and sometimes it is just funny..( funny as in our Alzheimer's Humor kind-of-funny).
Mary (Red), just to say I'm always glad to read your postings and know you're still there. For some reason, I've been thinking of you a lot lately and hope that life is being kind to you, dear friend.