I have been a caregiver since 2005, thats when i knew something was wrong, my DH couldnt manage the checkbook and the best clue, he forgot about a $5000 account he had from an ins payout. I KNEW something ws wrong! Then he started missing Cardinal baseball games, I knew it was serious. He started on Namenda in 2006, I retired on 2008 because he was at the point I need ed to be home with him. He is in stage 5, bordering on 6 sometimes. He is still very mobile, does own personal care, but Im having to remind him more and more, also I lay out his clothes. I just pray for strength every day! My worse problem is the isolation.
Oh Ky, how I identify with you! The isolation is very difficult. I know I have to make an effort to keep in touch with my friends, but "me" fades in face of the needs of my DH. He had a sress breakdown in 1990 and was never able to return to work. Dr. said he was sure it was AD in 2001 however he was not medicated for it till 2008. CAT scan/MRI confirmed in spring of 2009. I may not have been his care giver for the full 20 years, but I certainly have walked on eggshells for all of that time. He stopped driving or shopping in 2008. Has lost the ability to talk or understand all but the simplest of sentences. We are doing quite well just at the moment with the meds he is now on, however it is always a moment to moment thing. I never know when something will set him off. Lots of anger and frustration. I have just asked for him to be but in a daycare one day a week for 6 hours so that I have some respite. He is now 76, and I am 67. Try not to loose yourself as you, like I, have to be strong to be able to look after our dear ones. I send you a hug. RhondaJill
I identify with both of you. The expression "walking on eggshells" is pretty much what I've done for a very, very long time. Losing myself. I think I've done that a long time ago.
Just checking out this page tonight. Good thing ol timers warn about Phranque as I did have to laugh with his answer. Ky and others, the loneliness is the hardest. Think symptoms have been around at least 5 years, but 3 for real issues and 2 since diagnosis. PJ is 80 and perhaps related other problems add to the AZ as I'd say he's 4.5 - yesterday he said after reading a AZ newsletter that he was 1. Do I ever wish. No sharing the driving, the errands, and all the other good stuff. He has made coffee 3-4 times recently and toasted a bagel. But he doesn't even make himself a sandwich anymore. Oh yes, he doesn't share the remote control on the TV. I just started on some old hobbies that hadn't touched for several years. Also, making sure I have all of the legal docs in order as I need to find all of these things and have them organized.
For a top adm in a national org who was so careful about his care (not a fancy dresser, but always wore a suit, etc), the lack of personal hygiene and the strange clothing he wears some days drives me buggy. The thought of 10 more years is scary - his cardio says his heart is strong and that he could live for 17 more years. But the other problems such as loss of appetite, inability to walk, swelling of the legs, those things may change the ending of our story. Right now need to find a new family physician who specializes in geriatric care to help me sort out these other issues. Had to postpone dental surgery to figure out how to survive the two days we would need help. Also, still the snow removal before Tuesday's storm!
Texans - keep my TX flag on my desk and have one at work (which I hardly ever see anymore). Wimberly and San Marcos areas where most of our Dallas friends now live. Need to somehow get down there for a break but can dream - - -
DW is 55 and was officially diagosed almost 2 years ago with EOAD. Had resigned from full time work 4 years ago. .knew there was something "wrong" long before then, though. I consider myself active caregiver ( 4 years), though I still work full time. I do have companion care givers who come into home while I am at work. I do my best to direct her care-providing needs.
My Dw is seven years into it and now on the edge of stage six and changing monthly. I moved her back to her birthplace in Minnesota to see it through. Doing it alone and it looks as though there will be no care facility in our future. She is very very sweet and hasn't a clue of her ALZ. Am tired but coping pretty well once I got it through my thick head not to fight the process or other people and their ideas about it. It just us, isn'nt it. I can't allow myself to think of how sad I feel for her. Married 30 years, no kids.
Wish we could harness all the good energy you all put fourth. Excellant thread . . .
Wife and I are both 65; dx came 3 years ago. However, AD symptoms began 6 years ago ... but my wife was incorectly diagnosed. First neuro said her problems were due to stress; then anxiety; then depression. Naturally, various meds and meetings with a cognitive psych did nothing and her symptoms continued to worsen. Finally went to another doc for a 2nd opinion and shortly afterwards came the AD diagnosis. Wife now in stage 5.
DH Dx in 06 with Early Dementia, but had symptoms as early as 03 but wouldn’t go to neurologist (until kids intervened). Haven’t been able to leave him alone for at least 2 years. Late stage 5 some early stage 6. He is 64 & I am 62.
How long have I been care giver????Where do I start--married 1966-dh had break-down in 1973-from that point on we have dealt with mental issues and phyc. drugs-during this time he was able to hold down a job and retire after 42years. How ???because as the caregiver I saw to all meds all dr.appts. keep alert as to when a new problem was coming-took care of all money issues-did most of the child raising and was GLAD to do it because he was still able to function as the Man I married and loved.Fast forward to 2004 -thought we were going into a new depression but totally different-he forgot how to do daily living things,but the drs. said NO not alz. he did improve for a while but would relaspe every few months.Still they say NO to alz. Finally in 2010 -he got so bad and the angry side showed itself-finally the right drs. and a new hospital staff said Alz. No big shock to me.Sorry just supposed to be how long not life story------ caregiver --about 38 years and counting! (no wonder I am so tired) I am 61 and he is 64
Hubby has Alzheimers, and I have been a Caregiver now for 16 years......took care of him at home up until 2006, when he went into care......He is changing at a high rate these months....and is dependent for all...except he is still mobile...slowly but mobile....He is 86 and I am 69.....I feel tired and really have to "take care of myself" along with his needs........
Cally - my FIL paced the hallways of the facility up to a few weeks of the end of his 25 years journey. I guess it just depends on what areas are affected.
That is really incredible Charlotte.....think your right re "specifically affected areas". 25 years is a very long journey....it is basically a life time.....I seriously believe my Hubby ill before diag.......?