I haven't update you all in quite a while. This year, we are not hunting. DH hasn't wanted to in a couple of years and I kept pushing him to keep activities in his life. So far, he doesn't seem to miss it like I am missing it. I have spent a lot of time in my garden and that is helping. Our growing season is longer this year and that is good. We havent had communication with Daughter in probably 4 months. This is sad but she is in a hard spot with her husband and together they are choosing to think that DH's actions are by his choice and not caused by something else. (I wrote about this before it was all caused by DH taking offience to words and behavior of sone-in-law) Daughter has three children, it makes it hard. this is one area where DH was having the most stress. He still wonders a couple of times a day if SIL is going to show up and beat him up. It's a long story. Son is still being wonderful and very attentive to his dad. He is also there for me to talk to although I try not to do it too much. Son has three children who we haven't see in a year and a half. Another long story. His Ex discovered that if you place innomous calls to Family Services that you can have the kids given to you for a long time while they investigate. This last time was the third or fourth call from her to them. The system needs some work. Son lives in the house next to us and is just a short walk away. DH is still working for his Boss of several years. They do seasonal work and his Boss is good to him on his bad days. this year, DH is using his work money to buy hog and beef, since we will not have any wild meat in our freezer. DHs parents are fading fast. His dad has dementia (probably FTD) and took early retirement at age 56 and received SSD for dementia at that time. He is 84 now and healthy as a horse. 28 years since diagonosis. His mother had surgery and came out of it with minor demential. She became angry with DH and me and got it in her head that we were trying to take over their lives. We haven't visited them in 6 weeks. Also way to stressful on DH. We/DH has pretty much lost all of his family relationships with the exception of Son and me. When he keeps busy, things are good for him. When he has a day at home, he starts ranting about finances, dirty house (not) and anything else that comes to mind. He is not diagnosed, the MRI did not show anything and the doctor doesn't see the problems. We are going on 10 years of so with this problem that I think is FTD. He also has a pituitary gland tumor which causes him other problems.
I'm doing pretty good. Hanging in there like you all. He hasn't been as angry and adjuated in the last few months although we have some bad outbursts from time to time. The last one was about soy sause. I'll tell you about that one another.
It is so good to hear from you. I'm sorry your life has been so difficult.
You have apparently been to the wrong doctor. Your husband needs a complete evaluation by a Memory Disorders specialist. One of the biggest problems all families encounter is doctors not being knowledgable about Ad/FTD/dementia, and dismissing symptoms as "nothing", stress, depression, or "too young" to have dementia. Although many people figure it's not necessary to get a proper diagnosis, it is, because proper medications and support can improve both your quality of lives.
Your son sounds wonderful. Although we all try, there is nothing that can be done about the family members who are in denial and cause us more stress with their indifference.
If you have no other support network, we are always here. We understand, will listen, support you, and offer whatever help we can.
Welcome back, Mary. I've missed you. There is something about Montana and the people who live there that has always made me feel at home. Maybe it's because I grew up in Calgary, Alberta, just across the border from you. In the 1930's, my father's idea of a good time was to drive us all in is Ford across the line so that we could hear the coyotes at night. I remember seeing then on the hills in the moonlight and the chill that used to go down my spine.
I think the thing that bothers me the most is when DH get angry or really bothered about something and he is always right. And boy can he hold a grudge. Not arguing is so hard. We had one of these over the weekend and it bothered me more than other times. These problems are the things that are going to keep us from planning vacations or fun times. When the planning turns into problems, it is the last thing that I want to do. The last time this happened, he told me a week or so later "thanks for not leaving me like I told you to," Sometimes he has normal thoughts.