Hi everyone! I haven't posted on this site for a long time and I wanted to give an update on my husband. Three yrs. ago he was diagnosed with MCI and Vascular Dementia. He has had what I call "glitches" during the last 3 yrs. The first couple of years were awful to say the least. People said there was nothing wrong with him, I was lying. He was sneaky and did all kinds of things behind my back...a little paranoid etc...You all know what I am talking about. This last May he was diagnosed with Throat Cancer. He never smoked and rarely had a drink of alcohol. The last almost 5 months have been a nightmare!!! He had 7 stents put in his heart, got a Hematoma in the right groin. Got halfway through Chemo and Radiation and ended up in the hospital for 18 days. He now has a feeding tube. Incision came open AFTER we got him home and another 4 hr. surgery was done. Hospital stay 14 days. He has been in the hospital 9 times since May. He is a bad diabetic and his abdomen isn't completely healed and I put him in a home and he was there 5 days and he checked himself out!! Now he is home, incision still trying to heal and he has a Foley catheter in. He was to start radiation again this week but didn't want to do chemo with it. His doctor told him without chemo he only had a 15 to 30% chance of beating the cancer. He finally realized why bother when he has dementia, diabeties, neuropathy, degenerative bone disease, some kidney damage, heart disease, and now cancer. He is 71 yrs. old. He is now signed up with Hospice. They will help me take care of him here at home and as he progresses they will take him to a hospice house close to our home to pass away. We both are at peace with this decision. Everything was so chaotic before going from one doctor to another, one hospital after another, this test that test, this treatment that treatment and I was exhausted and not handling things well at all. I was tired, angry, frustrated, etc...I do think of this site often and say a prayer for God to be with all of you. May God continue to be with you all.
Linda Faye, I am so very sorry for all you and your DH has been through! I truly hope you can both find some peace now that decisions have been made. May God lead you on throughout this ordeal. Hugs to you.
Linda Faye i am sure hospice will be able to help your DH and you thru this difficult time. sending hugs you have both been thru so much in a short time.
Thank you Vickie and divvi. It was his decision and it is the right one. You can feel the peace in this house! Right now he is still feeding himself through the feeding tube and taking his meds etc...He needs a little assistance with a few things but other than that he is doing pretty good.
So sorry Linda Faye for what you and your DH have gone through. I pray the Lord will give you the strength to get through whatever time your DH has. Take care of yourself and God Bless.
Linda Faye welcome back to the fold. I know hospice will give peace and quality to you and your husband for the duration. Very fond good wishes to you both.
How very sad that not only does he suffer dementia but all these other medical complications as well. It is meaningful that HE could make a decision this important. Hospice will take good care of both of you. I have similar worries and I hope I will be as strong as you have been. This cruel disease...there are no words for how horrible this really is....
bluedaze, thank you for the welcome back. I had to take a break from this site because I was having a problem with depression and reading the posts were heartbreaking at times and I couldn't handle it. I finally worked through things with a lot of prayer, tears, and leaning on some of my friends. I don't feel strong even though everyone who knows me says I am a strong woman. Being strong gets tiring after a while. I know you all know what I mean...Yes, Mimi it is a blessing from God that my hubby could make this decision on his own. Dementia is a cruel disease by itself but add a lot of other health issues oh man, what an awful mess!! Kadee, with Hospice's help I will be able to take care of myself a lot more than I have. We caregivers ALWAYS put ourselves last....even though we know better.
Prayers coming your way, Linda Faye. Regardless of being exhausted, you know you have the strength to keep moving forward. Sorry you've been through so much recently and very happy that hospice is now on board to help.
So sorry for all you've gone through. From what I've read hospice will be comforting for both of you. Prayers for peace and comfort as you continue the journey.
Linda Faye, I am glad to hear from you! I am so sorry for all you and your husband have been through, and will be going through. Hospice is wonderful help and I hope that your hospice team is as wonderful as my husband's hospice team is. It does give us a sense of peace. May God continue to be with your and your husband. My prayers are with you.
Thank you so much Mary. We never dreamed he would come down with cancer!! I told him Friday that if all the nurses and aides are as nice as the chaplain and the nurse that came out and did the assessement on him we will be blessed! I don't feel so alone anymore. I know if I call the hospice number someone will be there to help me over the phone or send someone out. What a relief and blessing!!
I am so sorry you and DH had to go thru all of this and fully understand that sometimes reading these posts can be difficult. It is good that you have both come to a firm decision about how to handle things. Blessings.
Linda Faye, thanks for posting. The reality of the end of AD and other fatal diseases is so heartbreaking. You've been through so much. May God bless and comfort you as you try to take care of yourself now and treasure each precious moment that's left of your DH's life.
Linda Faye--I cannot imagine what the last 5 mos. has been like for you to endure. We are dealing with AD alone here, and that is surely enough on its own. Glad you came back to tell us what's going on and I wish you strength and peace for you and your dh.
Linda Faye, my heart goes out to you. What a rough time the two of you have had. I'm glad you have hospice there to help you see your DH through his journey.
Thank you so much marilyninMD and folly. I am praying God takes him soon. He has suffered so much and I don't want him to suffer anymore. I told him he is very brave to have made his decision and that I was thankful he was able to make the decision himself. He thanked me for saying that. This will probably be his last MAJOR decision he will make for himself.
I will try bluedaze. Thank you for caring about me and I do care about all of you on this message board. I know what a struggle everyone has been going through and it has been just as hard on all of you as what I have been going through as a caregiver. I don't know any of you personally and I can't remember everyone but God knows who you all are and I do pray for all of you often. God knows our needs before we do and He answers prayers!
When the atrohy hit my husbands lungs, his breathing slowly got more and more labored. He was tired all the time, his inhalers, nebulizer and bi-pap machine were no longer giving him any relief. He made the decision to stop all but his pain, depression and anxiety meds. It was emotional, but I respected his decision. It was a moment of rare clariety. He died a month later at a wonderful hospice house only one day after we arrived. He is at peace, and somehow, I am finding peace because of that. Never easy, grief is hard work. You both remain in my prayers. Arms around, Susan*
I am so sorry for your loss! Glad you two had hospice. You are right, he is at peace now and I hope you find the peace you need. You deserve it. Grief is hard work! Thanks for your prayers. A cyber hug goes out to you! I will be praying for you too.
Susan: Did your dh have COPD also like my dh has?? If so...did it continue to get worse slowly or just "bang" got worse fast. I know little about COPD and how it progresses. I have tried to do some research and all I can find out is that it is the 4th largest reason for death but it is very slow progressing. My dh got a large worker-comp. settlement when he retired and was dx with 26% in each lung and that was 5 1/2 years ago. I do not know what that means and he does not and never has had a doctor for this condition. He does use an inhaler daily. Any information regarding your husbands breathing and lungs would be gratefully appreciated. Do you think his Alz had an adverse affect on the COPD?