I invite you to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read the weekend blog. I was wondering if anyone had experiences similar to the ones I write about. Or a different lesson? Please post comments here.
I have learned that hard lesson too. Even before he was diagnosed, I think back to all the spats that we have had and they mostly stem from the fact that he was "always right" and I was "always wrong" Every once in a while I push the issue and I regret it the minute I do it. As long as I know that I am right that is all that matters and I just leave it at that. I was having problems with increase in blood pressure too and that has gone away as I just let it go and be what it is. Peace in the house as long as I am wrong and he is right.lol
Same with us. My DH is always right. Has been for years. And not just me, everyone else is always wrong. As to why some people think if you do 3 simple things,you can keep from getting AD. They don't want to get it so they think if "I do this it won't happen to me". It is like no one thinks they will have a car accident, it is always the other guy. Or be a victim of a crime. It is because the other guy was careless. AD can't be that random. And as we know it can and is.
Love this blog, Joan. I could have written it myself! Took me awhile, but I don't argue with Dh anymore. I just smile and go on. So what if he's wrong?? If he thinks he's right and it makes him happy - then I'm happy, and no raising of blood pressure either.
I have read about the 3 things to prevent AD and from some well-known doctors even. I will never understand how they could even think this!
AARP gathered experts and professionals from the health field (and travel, entertainment, finance fields) from all over the world, and this is what they are feeding people - 3 things to prevent and REVERSE AD. I could talk for hours, and as I said, people who are not AD caregivers will never listen. An expert said it, so it must be true. As the blog said, AD taught me not to argue.
I should clarify in order to be fair. My friend TOLD me that the lecturer said that AD could be prevented and reversed. I did not hear the lecture myself, so what is said is always open to interpretation. Maybe he said that exercise, brain stimulation, and socialization cannot hurt, and can be helpful. Maybe he did not actually say that it can prevent and reverse AD. That was my friend's interpretation. But, in any case, that is what my friend now believes, and nothing I say or do will change his mind. So I'm not arguing with him.
If we could put all the "cures" we have received from 'the experts" and well meaning friends and family ( who naturally think we are doing a horrible job) we could have the world of our dreams. What is wrong with us? Why are we being so stubborn and mean to our loved ones? I KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH OUR LIVES THAN MAKE OUR LOVED ONES HORRIBLE.......Maybe we should just let some of the "smarter" people we know spend a few days with our loved ones, perfect the technique and then they can call us and we would go over and get our loved one and they could show us the right way to do things........ Wonder if after a few hours they would EAT THEIR WORDS??????? Sometimes it is better to be dumb and happy. That is what I must be cause I don't have the answers and don't want theirs....... Hope all have a great night.....
I would politely tell the friend that Alzheimer's does not discriminate so if he thinks exercise, mind stimulation, and socialization will protect him from the disease he is mistaken. Send him one of many links containing the names of famous people with Alzheimer's (see below). If he will notice there are many athletes, musicians, etc. Think Ronald Reagan, or Charleston Heston - does he think they were out of shape, or not social enough? One day we may know the cause of Alzheimer's, but I can guarantee you it will not be a lack of jogging, chatting, or crosswords.
I have often wondered why so many actors have AD--using their memory is their stock in trade. Maybe they should have done a few more crossword puzzles. Sometimes I thnk it's the smarter among us who get it.
I'm with you, Joan! No use in arguing with anyone anymore...if we had not been walking in these shoes, perhaps we'd be "foolish" thinkers as well...Or perhaps just acquired less "on the job training" to be the experts that we are :-) LOVED THE BLOG!! Glad your blood pressure is in check! (((HUGGS)))
I had to give up and place my husband of 60 years in July. But I visit every day. And listen to him tell me over and over that his father built this place. He ignores the detail that his father died 56 years ago; this retirement home was built 10 to 12 years ago. I just nod my head.
Another woman on the ward wanted me to help her get 'the baby out of the wall'. Now they have given her a baby doll, and she rocks it, and sings to it, and gives it a drink of water.
Those with AD simply live in a world of their own.
Some Doctors or people tell me...you seem so normal...you surly can't have dementia. Oh, I say, I will come live with you for a couple weeks and you will soon change your mind. I will give them one week and they would be ready to pull their hair out. Until you walk in someones shoes you have no idea. Best not to argue with anyone if they always think they are right. I learned the hard way too....best just to nod and keep your thoughts to yourself. It is a struggle to do this but your health is what is important.