therrja, my thoughts are with you during this time. You have been a great caregiver and have certainly earned your *. Blessings on you and your family.
therrja, I am so sorry for your loss but I pray you find comfort in knowing you did all you could for your husband. Now it is time to take care of yourself. God Bless.
I also send my condolences for your loss Therrja. the long grueling pain is now over for you both. take care of yourself now and let us know how you are. divvi
Therrja we all share in your loss. I hope, after the terrible pain is over, that you will find that there is still a beautiful world waiting for you. Each day is still a gift.
It's pretty warm here in Northern Illinois, 72 today where we live. There are so many fallen leaves around our place. Husband didn't get up until noon, with my prompting. He hasn't eaten a thing since he got up except a glass of orange juice. He went outside to rake leaves! It is now after 4 and he still won't eat. I'm not angry about it, I just get worried. But, I have learned a lot here and I'm as calm as can be. If he doesn't want to eat..... Oh, well! Nothing I can do about it.
The weather outside is still beautiful and warm, and that's my present today.
Today was a hard day. It is our 30th anniversary. I could not sleep last night and it was hard getting to church this morning. But I made it through the day. We went out to breakfast and then I bought some flowers, (my DD said I needed them) and my Starbucks and took a nap. DH and DD watched the football game. I will sleep better tonight. I still have my DH and he did give me a kiss for our anniversary:) I miss the romance.....but I still have so much to be thankful for. Thank you dear friends for being here. I did make sure and say a special prayer at church today for all here. You all are in my thoughts, blue
Anyone hear updates from Jennette? If my memory :-) serves me right she is on her trip without her husband.
Raining cats and dogs last night and today - hate it. DIL is getting things together so this next week should be my last week of babysitting then I can go back to being grandma. My son hangs out at the apartment all day which I don't like. It is awkward being in charge of the kids and he is not. My DIL filed for legal separation - good move on her part for financial protection - but son was shocked. They go to court Nov 3 and she is hoping then the judge will limit his time at the apartment to only when invited. He thinks it is funny when he eats up her food. The kids got up from naps yesterday and wanted more of the fruits and deli meat she had bought for lunch but he ate everything but the veggies. Good thing they love veggies. He refuses to give her financial help but thinks nothing of making himself at home.
Anyone know about help for women with children in Chattanooga? She claims there is none unless you are black, but there has to be. I have no desire to help her after last summer. I definitely will not consider it unless she actually leaves the abuser and goes to a shelter.
Bev, when all else failed, my late husband loved milk shakes and ice cream. His doctor said to be glad, since ice cream is eggs, milk, sugar, - all is good for them when nothing else tastes good. The LAST taste they have is the taste of SWEET, everything else will taste like paper in their mouth and getting some of our guys to eat can be a major challenge. I had a period of time when F didn't eat, and I'd mix up a milk shake with ice cream and Ensure. He had a treat and loved it!!! and I was satisfied that he had some nutrition in him - which helps the medicines to work somewhat more efficiently. Some of his had to be taken with food..and so Ice Cream was always in the freezer. Just a suggestion.... Good luck! NancyB*
I just found out about Ensure pudding--hard to find, Walgreen's is the only place that carries it around here. Steve seems to like it--they only stock the vanilla flavor. I figured it would be a nice break from the milkshakes.
Icky, grey day here. Went into town this morning to a photographer...my dad gave me a picture of his cat (from many years ago) that he wants touched up and reprinted. Did that. Now, home. Going to finish cleaning out gardenhouse...maybe attack the garage. But have a feeling that isn't going to happen. Also need to CLEAN OUT my truck before my trip to New York. I mean, REALLY. MUD on the carpets, dirt everywhere. I love my truck, you just can't tell. It sure is lonely here. So quiet. These are the days I hate being awake. No motivation or feeling of purpose, really. Just trying to make myself move around and accomplish SOMETHING. Tired of just the radio for company. Oh, well. Maybe I just don't belong here (where I live) any longer and should move on. Dunno. Just thinkin. OOPS. Now, I think its raining. Greaaat. Maybe just stay inside, change linens, do laundry, wash the cat. Have a good day.
DS does amazingly weird things. Check. (diagnosed spouse) Prospects for the future keep dimming. Check. Funding care in the future remains unsolved. Check Love life out the window. Check. Sleep quality miles below recommended limits. Check. House looks like a college dorm in April. Check. Personally indistinguishable from a zombie. Check. Friends and family running away screaming. Check. Perky Julie Andrews attitude in tact. Oh. Oh well.
Attitude makes Lindsay Lohan look like Julie Andrews. Check. There you go.
(I put a few jokes onto the joke thread that I think are all pretty good. We could all use a chuckle)
The leaves are a riot of colors here in Ontario. It's about 50 degrees and most have cut their grass the last time this summer. The first serious frost is days away but many of the hardier flowers in the gardens are still looking healthy. The winds will come soon when the jetstream settles below us. The air is fresh though where I am I have a couple of windows open.
We've lost a huge amount this month and four of the last seven days she hasn't slept one wink at night and talks in bed. I finally moved to the spare bedroom last night and hope it's not permanent yet. One or two more nights and I'll phone the doctor. I hate to start putting her on sleeping pills and some behaviors don't last long. We'll see.
stuntgirl* Knit a sweater. Make a piece of furniture. Read a book you have no interest in whatever. Get so drunk you throw up. Go onto the seediest website you can find and buy a sex toy you would never dream of using and leave it on the coffee table. Rename your pets and teach them to respond. Write a letter to a secret lover and send it to a stodgy relative by mistake. Give yourself a birthday party including a suprise gift. Buy a cashmere sweater or leather boots and leave them in the box. Dye your hair and change the style. Buy a bottle of good wine and take a long, hot, bubblebath playing Frank Sinatra in the background. Or you could always wash the truck. ;-D
This old lady loves reading your posts. You really have a way with words. Stuntgirl has probably already done the above things but I know she will get a chuckle out of reading your list of things to do. Thanks, Wolf K for my laugh today. Oh, to be young again......
Okay, Wolf....CROCHEED (I can't knit) a scarf for upcoming winter; Read an inspirational book for women (bored, bored, bored); Drank a bottle of good wine and WANTED to throw up (learned NOT to take meds with alcohol); already bought a sex toy from a sleazy store and named it "Richard"...in plain sight in my bedroom (its okay...no one ever comes up there)... I don't know if it works anymore cause I've lost interest (he doesn't talk and I have to do all the work). Just don't want to get my hopes up; I have lots of leather boots and fancy cashmere sweaters and nowhere to wear them! None of my animals really know thier names...but they come running when I bang on the feed buckets; I don't write love letters to anyone but I DO curse in front of my father.....which encourages HIM to swear, too, which makes my mom leave the room (then we can watch what we want on the television). I dye my hair often, who knows what color it will be next week; and I take a VERY LONG bubble bath every day while reading several chapters of a good novel! I don't like Sinatra but I ROCK OUT to Queen, Black Eyed Peas and other stuff. I DID build a piece of furniture....I'll post it as my profile picture on FaceBook if you want to see it!!! But............my truck still needs cleaning. And, I don't know where to start cleaning when I walk into the Garden House/Tool Shed. It has been a very choppy, unproductive day here!!!!
Been a rough few days. Had PT last Monday and I don't know what exercise is the cause but for days I had back spasms that on a scale of 1 to 10 were a 6. So bad I called my brother in law on Sat and God love him he came running. Today was some better and had PT again..hope tomorrow I can move ok in the morning. Will still do the heat thing and Motrin. This has been a real crucifixion!
Dear Friends..what a hoottt but sorry for your back problems Mimi. Stunt Girl..yahooo.. so funny. Just checking in here and its nearly time to take DH on his long awaited TRIP! Our daughter will go with us..we'll be away for two nights and then take him back to the ALF. He thinks we are going to Arkansas but we'll tell him about the change to a nearer golf resort once we are on our way. He can't ride for more than about an hour without getting antsy. His objective is to GO..so it really won't matter that much where he is as long as he's not where he WAS. If he could just REMEMBER that he actually WENT..Well thats the way it goes doesn't it? We go out and do something that I think is GREAT and he tells our daughter that I don't come to see him at all. ?? I visit nearly every day and fortunately our chldren know it. eeghaddss..
Storm passing through w/tornado watch, high winds, some rain; electricity was off for about 5 hrs. Missed a support meeting. I thought my Storm Station (purchased after reading suggestions here) was charged, but at some point great-grandbaby apparently shut it down while he was exploring. Smaller one was charged. Hb wandered around the house but no more than usual. No chance he'll be able to walk outside and pick up twigs:)
Catching a lull here, in storms. Tornado watches and repeate warnings all morning. Sustaned winds in uppere 20s-and 30s have been forcing semis to pull off in areas where it's open--can't hold their lane. So far our powers okay, but the winds are to last through tomorrow.
Storms here also. Very high wind, 5 trees down in my neighborhood, 1 two doors down from me. My power was off from 9:30 to 4:10. I kept waiting to go to the ALF to feed my husband, hoping the power would come back on. Those double garage doors are very heavy without power. Oh that reminds me I need to go connect the garage back to power. The rain was welcome, but, not that terrible wind.
Feeling better today..off Motrin and on to the Tylenol and heat..managed an errands morning with bil and now will start laundry and do the heat thing..weather nice for a change..sorry about the blizzard in the mid country..hold on to your hats.
Got one of the biggest shocks of my life today. My dearest friend of 36yrs, Susan, called sobbing to tell me that her husband was dx'd with cancer. Keith got on the line and told me the details. He said, " well, it's not good, Soon I will be up fishing with Jim again. OMG, my heart aches. He had blood in his urine, tests, and a CT Scan of bladder and kidneys, etc.clipped the base of his lungs revealing tumors everywhere including 5 in just the bases of his lungs. He at least at stage 4 maybe 5. No symptoms except what he thought was a UTI! Dear God, both of us becoming widows at the age of 54/55! This is too horrible for me to wrap my head around. Thanks for letting me vent. Strange twist is that THEIR DAUGHTER IS THE HOSPICE NURSE UP THERE!
Meanwhile, I am on the lowest dose of Effexor (75mg) that I have ever been on. Weaning down dramatically on the Clonopin and no more Seroquel!!! Now to just hold steady and be a strong friend for Susan. She live 6 hrs north of here, so I will be visiting soon and often. Please keep her family in your prayers.
My Mom had another amazing recovery from her hip replacement. 3 weeks and she is walking without a cane! Next comes her knee!! Oh, God Bless us all. Arms around, Susan PS: Wolf K. are you sure you are not Phranque in disguise?????? I love your humor, I really needed the laugh.
Good grief, SusanL*...so sorry about your friend's husband. But, ya know what? As I was reading it, as sad as it is, you HAVE a very best friend, someone you've had for most of your life. Alot of us don't have any of that and that kind of support that seems built into your life. You'll be so much support to her, you can't imagine! You must be a good friend to have. Good luck with your meds. ...and Wolf IS VERY funny and makes me smile, too.
Its been raining cats and dogs, ponies, hippos, everything! So much noise all night long with the rain coming down so hard! We needed it so badly. The color of the sky with a little peep of sunlight here and there is making the fall colors on the mountains really POP. But, it looks like the rain will continue today.....so, another day indoors, maybe. That's okay! PLENTY to do. Have a good and not TOO eventful (nothing too disturbing) day.
Thanks Jen, I am also blessed to have such good friends. Yes, I will be there to take care of Susan, just as I promised her husband I would. Raining like crazy here. Keeping busy with home repairs etc. Feels good to get things accomplished.
Went to Buffalo this past weekend to visit DH's Stepfather & Brother. Stayed with a friend DH has known since high school. Not a good trip. We drove & he did well on the trip there.But he didn't sleep well so neither did I. He kept losing things & then of course blamed me for stealing his things. Our friend was very understanding, but she had no idea about his unusual behaviors (constantly dry shaving, not knowing where the bathroom was even though he was just in it a few minutes before, etc.) & then she got upset with me because I was on my computer. She went on about how too many people were on their computers too much & they didn't have a life. I didn't bother telling her that right now that IS my life. It's my enjoyment while I am cooped up in the house. It's also part of the many duties I have (paying bills on line, keeping in touch with friends & family etc.) Well she really hurt my feelings, but I just let it go. Just goes to show you that people just don't understand. Then on the way home he was very confused. Didn't know where we were going & wondered why it was taking so long. Sad to say it's probably the last time we make that trip. Lesson learned.....no more long trips.
Youngest daughter coming for 8 days..arrives tomorrow afternoon, BIL had been a huge help since my back spasms..got the gutters checked for the rain season, cleaned the patio and furniture out there and washed down the metal sheds..almost looks like new. Saw a huge big red tail hawk today too..got a nice couple of photos of this big bird.. Clouds moving in and we are to have rain tomorrow..oh joy...just when the child arrives..child is a mom to two adult kids but you know how it is...
Tomorrow....BARN GUTTERS! My house is never the problem, but there are locust trees near the barn and they shed leaves, branches, like crazy all year long! And, hey....I have several tomato plants coming up in the garden! Volunteers! I need to take them up and put them in a greenhouse environ. and put adequate light on them. EXPERIMENT! Like I need something else to do. Looking forward to horseshowing this weekend (my mare that wrecked me last year)....need to get "eyes" on her 'cause she's for sale....nice, fancy little hunter pony. Then, my trip to New York (Mohunk?) to deliver horses. LOTS of stress....trying not to get too weary and stressed. Looking forward to my "road-trip"! Rainy here, even now.
stunt girl*, Mohonk is a beautiful place. Will you be staying in the main lodge? When we lived in New Jersey my wife and I went there several winters for winter sports.
Mohonk! Yes, it looks like I've been invited to stay and do some stuff there if I want. Could even bring a pony and enjoy the trails and scenery (I hear they have over a hundred miles of trails back in there. But, no, I'll probably need to just get rested and drive right back home. Too many responsibilities here waiting for me. Stuff to get done before the really cold weather falls on me.
I read this terrific line last week. I was reading to my husband from the book "Angel Cats: Divine Messengers of Comfort". One of the stories was about a man who at one point in his life was very ill. His 3 cats lay around him one on each side and one next to his head. Some time after he recovered he had a cat whisperer come to the house and one of the questions he asked was why the cats did that. Through the cat whisperer he was told that "his purrs weren't right". I did notice that three of my cats were sleeping with me glued to my side and at least one dog was on the bed with me all through my husband's last days - guess my purrs weren't quite right........... I have very mixed thoughts about the cat whisperer part but really like the choice of words.
One of the things I found interesting was how many people (priest, nurses, chaplin, etc.) checked with me on whether I had plans or thoughts on what I was going to do with my "after".
Elaine, just read about your trip. Sounds a lot like mine. I quit traveling with him over 2 years ago, but had to go this time, I felt. I did have some understanding people around us all of the time and they all helped with him....but he is still my velcro baby, and wants to at least see me, whereever we are. I did use the little business card about him having ALZ on our trip at restaurants and hotels. Everyone was especially nice and patient with us. Hope both our DH's get back to "normal" soon.
October's been an unsettled month. My husband no longer reads or watches TV, has to be helped to eat, is having loose stools, and has developed a pressure sore. His kids continue to interfere; the latest is his son sending away the aide that I'd hired to help my husband with his lunch. So, with step-by-step warnings between my lawyer and theirs, we're having to move towards withdrawing their visiting privileges. It's not that they visit that often because they don't. It would be better for my husband if they did visit, so it's sad that they won' cooperate. As for me, I have had a cold that leaves me tired. But, on the brighter side of the ledger, I got my ms. away to an editor, and that is a very good feeling. My son is visiting for few days, and that's always a pleasure for me.
Went to my son's parents weekend but found him sick. I took him to the doctor, and the tests showed son had both strep throat and flu. The college has a rule they aren't allowed on campus with flu until they are not contagious any more, so we brought him home. Did get Tamflu for my husband. Meanwhile husband didn't want to get up early enough to go to the doctor, so he stayed at the motel. He went to the Hardees next door for breakfast and tripped on a curb and fell. They called EMS who bandaged his knees and said he was ok. He didn't call me when it happened but he said people were very nice to him. His Parkinson's is progressing faster than his dementia at this point.
We're home now and I'm feeling sorry for myself. This is my fall break from teaching.
Feeling sorry for myself, too. Put out one token Halloween decoration I saw near the washing machine when adding vinegar to yet another load of DH's laundry.
Visited a potential place for my husband this week and brought him with> Itt was before his daycare opened up and I went to work. He had no concept of what we were doing or why we were there.
I realized today that my dogs are able to take much more direction than my husband at this point. He is ambulatory, but so very confused.
So sad. But at least he's still pleasant with the few words of vocabulary that he uses.
P.S. Had to buy 4 more bags of Halloween chocolate as I have been nibbling all week on the prior bags. Drowning my sorrows in chocolate, I guess!
We had beautiful weather here in Northern Illinois. Sure do wish it would last.
Today was a first. My husband and I were walking to our car in the parking lot of a local shopping mall after our daily visit when he announced he had to pee. I said can you wait until we go back in the store? He said okay so I went to relock the car door and when I turned around he was peeing next to the car. OMG!! I am thankful that no one was around to see as this was a busy Saturday. I going to have to watch him even closer now.
I need to grow eyes in the back of my head to keep up with all the strange things he does.
Deb, I went through that period too. WHen DH would get out of the car he would head for the nearest tree. He did it once on a square in downtown Rotterdam after a movie with friends. Lacking trees, he would look for a wall. Driving home from the airport in May he made my DIL stop the car on the I78 so he could pee along the edge of the road, with the grandkids staring from the car. (She told them not to look.) Now that he is in depends all the time it does not happen any more. This too will pass.
Yes, I am back from my trip to the States. Had a great time at my 50th high school reunion (I love reunions, they are so liberating, though I've only been to three of them. Got rid of all my high school traumas.). Then spent the rest of the week with Mom who had returned from a senior citizens trip to Branson, Missouri the day after my reunion. It was so good to be with her on my own. I had not realized how much my attention on recent trips has been monopolized by DH. Now we could go shopping to our hearts' content (our hearts are only content with a lot of shopping), sort her cupboards and kitchen cabinets, visit friends and relatives. We even took a trip to the Amish country in central Ohio, one of Mom's favorite things to do. Siem was well cared for at the same facility where he goes to day care, but in a different building. He apparently did well except for trouble showering in the morning. Visitors (he had company every day) said he seemed contented but lethargic, especially after a week (he stayed 9 nights) . There did not seem to be much going on to keep the residents occupied. I have an evaluation meeting coming up next week, also to talk about the future. I had been warned that he might regard the facility as "home" by the time I got back. However he came home with me willingly (laughed at me out loud when I asked him if he remembered who I was) and quickly fell back into our usual routine. I actually think he's a little more alert than before I left. The day after I picked him up and asked him something about his stay at that place he said "I didn't stay anywhere" and nothing can make him remember. He doesn't even remember the day his brother took him home for a pancake supper and he completely stuffed himself. So I hope he can stay there again at Christmas.
Went to a horseshow yesterday with eleven of my old barn buddies. Hauled two horses (one is my own pony- very fancy hunter pony still for sale....she stays with my trainer). Left before sunrise and stayed way after dark...got home after stoping to eat with everyone, around 10pm. Felt like i was back in my own element again...except I wasn't the one competing this time. One more year out and I can start again at a lower level! Beginning to ride again (with supervision at my friends barn...I have nothing to ride here). But, risky...hmmm. And against promises I have made to my family about not riding. Impossible.
I'm leaving for Mohunk, New York, in the early morning. Hopefully before dawn. Off to fuel up, clean out the trailer, etc. Wish me LUCK, uneventful trip!
If all goes well with daycare, yesterday was my last day of being babysitter. Now I can go back to being grandma. I will miss not seeing them everyday but will welcome the peace, quiet and time to do things and run errands without little ones tagging along. AND - sleeping in!!
Has been raining off and on - heavy at times. Definitely fall. Hope to head out south or up to our membership park in a couple weeks. I would definitely love to be where it is sunny all winter. Son is still being a jerk and now using the kids as pawns to get his way. He is the one that kept speaking divorce but DIL got the legal separation started for financial protection and such. He says he is not giving her money to pay rent and utilities - doesn't care if the kids have a roof over their head. He does have child support order but he has to have income for that. He does have unemployment but has been spending it as fast as it comes in. He sleeps in his pickup and spends the daytime while DIL is working in the warmth of the apartment watching TV and using the internet. Friday as we were coming over to my place I asked my granddaughter why she was so angry. She started telling me many reason including 'I wish my old daddy would come back'. I asked what she meant by that and she answered 'the daddy that didn't yell and scare me'. If counseling is required to save his marriage he will take divorce. Pride is destroying his family.