Anyone experiencing bowel incontinence? First we had the urine and I was just getting used to dealing with the fact that I could not always get my dh to the bathroom before he peed in the disposables. Now it seems that my dh has a bm several times a day (and here I was worried about constipation). It is not the runs (thank goodness). I used to be able to sit dh on the commode for about 10 minutes and he would have a good bm. I could generally tell when he need to go because he would get aggitated. Then he would have a good bm. But for the last couple of weeks, it seems he has a bowel movement when he wakes up and then again after lunch and after dinner. Is this normal?
Oh, the aroma!!!!

I always knew when my husband needed to have a bm because he became agitated too. But very early on in his disease he became "afraid" of the toilet. Simply refused to go near it (he had fallen off of it a couple of times). If by some miracle I got him on it, he would not stay. To this day he becomes agitated when he needs to have a bm. I think that somewhere deep down he knows he isn't supposed to go in his pants, but he does not know where so he becomes agitated and holds it until nature takes its course.

This is a problem I really fear. So far, DH is not bowel incontinent ... and I hope it never comes to that. However, from going every day, he now has a bm every two or three days, no longer flushes, and I have seen that the diameter of the stool is truly unbelievable. That probably explains why he would try to hold off have a bm. So I think I'll begin giving him some Dulcolax. I was going to say I don't think I could change a bowel diaper, but that's ridiculous because I'm now doing things I never thought I would be able to do. I only hope I can handle the future.

I'm dealing with bowel incontinence occasionally. Once in the car when we were on the way to a support group. I was unprepared and had to return home. A couple times he has been very aromatic when he got off the day care van. If I ask him if he's done something in his pants he will usually admit it and consent to getting changed/showered. It's a mess. This issue is making me more leary of going places. I'm wondering about usuing Immodium in such a case to postpone it. I think divvi has written about this on the incontinence thread. I've been planning to reread, but so far have managed to procrastinate.
Usually he has his BMs on the toilet but is not very good at wiping. Fortunately it only soils the disposable. Today I saw baby wipes on sale and bought a supply. If I catch him on time he will usually lean over to let me wipe (which amazes me).

Wow, what stories we tell!

I now carry in the car an emergency kit. Gloves, wipes, toweletes, trash bag, depends, fresh pair of pants.

I found a soapless cleanser that someone else mentioned and find it takes away the odor on the buttox skin area. Made by Medline. Then the only thing that really takes away the smell on the plastic commode is Clorax (not the wipes). Now I just put a little on some toilet paper and wipe it off. I have a very sensitive sense of smell so was not appreciating the aue de cologne of a bm. Gloves are a must as it is awful trying to get it off of your hands. I use a helping of Aquaphor on some toilet paper to make sure he is not sore on his bottom after all of the wiping and cleaning. Lots of toilet paper and lots of flushing! I also use the non allergy wipes to clean as much as I can. I use vanilla bags for the bathroom trash can and put lots of kitty litter in the large trash can outside to help absorb any odors. Like all of the other changes, we get used to it once we figure out the best way to handle it for our loved one and ourselves. We are always learning - our very own journey!

OMGoodness, Thunder, LOL --- not funny, but omgoodness!!! Wow!! I am dealing with bowel incontinence now as well ~ Try to "plan" it like watching for aggitation, etc., but sometimes it just "happens" ~ Most recently @ 3am...It is "breath-taking"...ummm 'takes my break away'...ummm, well, you know what I mean...in any event, like all steps in the "disease walk", I am taking it a poop at a time & trying to get used to this lastest declining issue...Not sure I'll ever get used to this, but I bet if I look back a few years, I'd have said that about ALOT of stuff I now just deal with & don't think twice about ~ God help us all!!

Oh yes, the aroma - yechhhhhh! I had to drive with the windows down today. I am surprised that dh doesn't get upset about blowing out his pants, shirts, shorts, socks, etc. everything and doesn't seem to smell himself, either. I never thought I'd be helping a grown man clean up after pooping all over the place, it really is disgusting. I took him off Aricept and that helped immensely for a while. Since that was helping so much I also cut his Immodium down to one cap/day but now I'm going back to 2/day + additional fibre. He always has these incidents after eating a meal, particularly any fresh fruit. Today I told him that his eating fresh fruit days are over. I'm going to have to research what foods are more problematic with this conditon and make sure they never pass his lips again.

So, I still don't know how to leave the house without this worry -l he simply cannot be trusted. He always has the option to tell me that he needs the bathroom; but, no, he waits until he's made an unholy mess and I smell him or see what he's done to his pants - I just don't get that at all. Just like a toddler. And, adult Depends just do not do the job - it's like he's just taken a shower in runny feces. Poor man, poor me.

I

Flushable wipes, kids! They are worth every penny. I use those every time Lloyd has a BM in the toilet. The rest of the time I use Walmart baby wipes. I have given up on worrying about anything! I will just deal with it as it comes.

Thanks, Jules, that was the info I was looking for.

I give my dh a 1/2 tsp of liquid stool softener the night before I plan on his bm (every other day). Then in the morning during his bath, I give him a suppository. In a couple of hours, dh has a soft bm and later in the day, another soft bm. To get to this point, I was giving 1 tsp in the morning and evening until his stool stopped being so hard (like clay). You have to test what works. The bottles say 1 - 6 Tbl but that is just too much for my dh. Be sure to increase the liquids as the stool softener needs it. I have the pharmacist order this for me. It is over the counter but I don't think it is a big seller as most people use the tablets. My dh has a problem swallowing so we have the liquid. Now and again I still have to give a Fleets when it smells really bad because there is some stool that is sitting in the bowel and not moving. Paper lining the trash keeps the smell from going from the plastic bag to the plastic trash. I also use a large paper bag for the garage to put these into until trash day so the large trash can doesn't smell so bad. So when the bag person at the markets asks, I say paper now and again instead of plastic or my own bags.

" It is really tricky to clean up full grown men." Agree.

DH had his first full blown (probably bad choice of words) bowel incontinence issue today. Couldn't figure out why he was in the bathroom so long. He came out, sat down next to our daughter and she immediately wrinkled her nose. He got up and I realized the back of his pants were wet. I convinced him to come with me so he could change. He was grateful since he said he didn't know where the clean clothes were. When he stripped down I saw he had washed out his briefs and put them back on totally wet. His shirttails were also wet besides his jeans. He had washed himself the best he could in our 1/2 bath sink. My daughter checked out the bathroom and there was poop on the seat, in the toilet and in the sink. Tough for my daughter to see, but God bless her, she cleaned it up. Checked the hand towel in the bathroom and realized he had used it as a washcloth and of course hung it back up.

I could tell today was going to be one of those days -- he was extremely repetitive and when we went out for lunch he ended up eating a serving of ketchup that was in a little cup with a spoon. And he never liked ketchup!

I deal with this daily at my job...some suggestions that we use. We have a adult change table but a massage table, one that folds down will work. Have it at a height that is less stressful on your back and put it against a wall so they can't fall off. Once on there tip them to one side and start cleaning once you are almost done get them back on their back to finish the job. The bm's clean up we use the blue shop paper towels....get them wet and wipe....their cheap and strong for cleaning. We have a garbage can with a lid that holds in the smell so once a day we dump it if they are only wet. The soiled ones we remove right away. If you buy more than one box of gloves at a time you can get them cheaper.

After all the years I have worked in my field I find it is just part of the job but for someone not used to it, it must be really though and I really feel for you.

This post caught my eye. I remember talking to a few others on this site. We all agreed that we didn't think we could handle incontinence. When the time came, we all did. I think we grow into this disease.

A nurse shared with me that using foamy shaving cream worked best for cleaning dirty bottoms.... and it worked for me. It is NOT too strong, imagine, one's face is delicate tissue too. I've since found that it even works on my little dog, when he gets some 'stuck' in his long hair. Carefully rinsing is required, but maybe it's the moisturizing oil in it, but it really is much easier than plain water or ordinary soap.

Nancy B*

yay Fiona68!! you did it girl!! it makes sharing all the more 'not so pleasant' activities we have to deal with a bit more bearable knowing someone else can profit from experiences had by others here. not fun but not as bad as most think. sadly it becomes just another duty! good for you.
divvi EX poop queen. :)

For anyone in the very early stages, not yet in protective underwear. If you are dealing with a man who is committed to wearing boxers, insist that he change to boxer briefs. The mess is much less.

Wow Fiona, I'm impressed! You are far better at adapting than I was.

Fiona68, I too, said those things, that when he did not know me would be the time. Well, he does know me, but, sort of....the falling, the constant falling, the constant crying, the sexual advances and changes every day finally pushed me to it. In fact he has another new symptom just today, he pees anywhere he is standing, on the floor or anywhere, it is unreal how this is accelerating.

And he cries and sobs if he gets scolded. Oh my guy my sweet the best ever guy, I have to let him go. Don't block your feelings too much Fiona68, though, I find that managing to detach myself from him a bit., to know he is not really in most ways with me, helps.

thank you for that ElaineH, as I am facing this. I was cleaning today and found his tweety bird hat, and just cried and cried, not even knowing it was there.

Don't mean to go off subject..

Bad day yesterday. DH had diarrhea, but no trouble getting to the bathroom. No fever, no flu-like symptoms, just diaarhea. No big problem. At 4:00 a.m. this morning, I woke up to find him coming from the bathroom to the bedroom - minus his pj bottoms and underwear! When I asked him what he was doing, he said he didn't quite make it to the toilet and messed up his underwear. Went in the bathroom - didn't find any mess at all, but his pj bottoms and shorts were in the shower. He had tried to wash them out! But at least left them on the shower floor. Fortunately, I have been ordering sample depends, etc., so I told him we'd use them today so he wouldn't be embarrassed if he couldn't get to the bathroom in time. No problem. He went back to bed, I went to make coffee. After we had our coffee, started to make the bed.......uh-oh! Went through the sheet onto the top mattress cover - but I was prepared! I had another water-proof mattress cover under that - it did not go through to that cover though, and mattress is ok! Stripped the bed, did laundry, then when I was going to put the covers and sheets back on.....discovered it was on the light blanket! Another load of laundry! No more messes since, but hopefully, I can keep him in the depends or whatever. Stopped by CVS and bought a pkg. of Tena's so will try them - they look more like underwear than the depends I have.I sure hope this is a fluke, but if not, will just try to deal with it - don't have any other choices!

This is undoubtedly off topic. Perhaps a hand will come out and hit me. Gord had been in incontinence products for most of his last year. The day my son and I were going to the funeral parlour with Gord's clothes, I realized he no longer had any real underwear. When my son came to pick me up, I was crying and holding that damn pretend underwear. I didn't want him wearing those at the end but didn't want to ask my son to take me to the store. He came in, heard the problem. We called the funeral parlour and told them we would be a few minutes late. He didn't want his dad to be in them either.

So very thoughtful, Jang*. I can understand that.

I haven't posted much lately but read all comments every day. pamsc, I didn't know about boxer briefs until I read your comment. I'm not dealing with the poop and pee yet but I took your advice and bought some boxer briefs. I can see that they would be so much better with the fitted legs. Thank you for telling us about this.