probably about a year or more. My DH has been diagnosed with Parkinson's and Dementia. No mention of Alzheimer's as of yet tho. He has been on Aricept with Namendia for his dementia plus Carb/Levo and Azelic for his Parkinsons....all for about 1 1/2 to 2 years. I have lately seen such a decline in his mental situation that I put my notice in to work. I plan to work to end of semester (I am a specch/language assistant at our elementary school) but would quit much sooner if they can find a replacement for me. Up until about 4 months ago he was sharp for a day or two then off for a day or two. Now it is off more than on and I get sick to my stomach when I leave for work every day. I am only 7 blocks from the house but it still makes me nervous to leave him. He dresses himself, fixes his own lunch, drives to the grocery store, and plays golf on occasion. But he can't understand a calendar, any type of instructions, or even follow directions i leave him to do something at home. He is only 59 but this has been coming on for about 5 years. After an early retirement from Boeing he drove a school bus and did some substitute teaching. Not any more. Got on Social Security disability on the first try after only 60 days (which makes me wonder what the doctors said about his condition). He can go to sleep at the drop of a hat and sometimes I panic when i can't wake him up. Starting to wander around in the middle of the night so guess I should put better locks on the doors so he can't get out if he tries, which he hasn't done yet. I haven't been to any kind of support group yet but am looking for one in our area (we live in a small town about an hour from a city).
Thanks for listening to me. I have been lurking here for a long time but everyone seems so much more in need of help than me, but the time has come that I think I need the support as well.
Sheila, I've read your other posts and see where you've been. I'm sorry it's got to this point and that you've had to hand in your notice at your school. You will be held and comforted by everyone here who knows what it's like.
Thanks Mary75. I need the holding an comfort. I usually spend my cry time outside after Tom goes to bed. That way I can talk to my Mom in Heaven and pray to God to continue to give me the strength I need to get thru this nasty disease with tom. He used to be my rock......Now i get the opportunity to be his.
Gotta watch the driving,the last time my wife drove she went to a retirement party for another teacher then called me to come an pick her up,didn't know she had driven,read about it all the time where someone takes off in the car an they sometimes find then a few days later hundreds of miles away,its a sad road we're all traveling
Sheila, if your DH starts wandering at night, try a baby gate in you bedroom door frame at waist level. That way when he tries to get out, the commotion is sure to alert you. I found it was much better than trying to install locks on all the doors and having him wandering through the house alone at night. Keep posting, you are among friends. Oh, everyones needs and tolerance are different. NEVER feel that your need, or level of need is not worthy of posting! We are here for you NO MATTER WHAT! Arms around, Susan *
Sheila, I'm realtively new here, but your situation sounds alot like mine. I am fortunate though that my DH gave up driving voluntarily about 3 years ago. Please share any & all your feelings with us here. We are here for you & we know that you are here for us too! (((HUGS))).
My DH was just telling me this morning that he woke up in the middle of the night last night and thought he was in his chair in the den, he started trying to get out of it to get to bed. It took him a few minutes to realize he was in bed. He said it felt so real, he could feel the chair and just knew he had fallen asleep in it. Could it be the mind is playing tricks on them in the middle of the night, and they are trying to get somewhere?
Sheila, if you two still sleep in the same bed, I would recommend the locking door knob for the bedroom door. It keeps him in the room with you and you can open it if necessary. It will prevent a lot in the future, such as: turning on the kitchen stove, running water in the bathtub, overflowing the toilet, letting any pets outside, going outside, etc. AND, it will allow you to sleep even if he gets up and paces in the bedroom. It allowed me to sleep easier! He would get up and turn the doorknob, wiggle it, go into our bathroom and turn on the light switch then go back and try the door (as if that unlocked it) and other cute things I won't go into here....but he never got angry, and never hit anything - even the door...he would eventually give up and get back in bed. He might do this two or three times during the night.
Dealing with the outside locks came a few months later - keyed deadbolts on all the doors to the same key and everyone who came in was issued a key to keep on their person - to be returned when no longer needed.
My husband no longer can walk by himself, so it's hard to break the habit of keeping the doors locked now! It has become second nature to me, but I am making myself stop it, in case I need help getting him up.
I hope you have neighbors who can call you if they see your husband leave the house, or that he has a chaperone cell phone so that you can track him if he leaves your yard.
Good luck...you are at the hair pulling out stage......
very frustrating....trying to keep the toddler from hurting himself.
I'm at the infant stage - and my husband is easy to care for now...
Sheila, I'm sorry for all that you're going through, but glad you're here. I'm retired from Boeing, too. Then did substitute teaching and a part-time admin asst job. Last November, I had to quit those jobs to be full-time w/hb. He has vascular dementia and memory and reasoning are fading fast. Two or three weeks ago, I put double keyed deadbolts in doors because he went out twice in the same wee hrs of a.m. I heard him, watched, and sent his dog after him. He doesn't want me to sleep in the same room w/him, which is fine w/me because it keeps a small heater on and when it goes on & off, it wakens me. I hear him when he gets up and guess I dose until I hear him go back to bed--or hear "suspicious" noises from the kitchen. He goes into the kitchen when he gets up at night; so I lock the pantry door after setting a snack out for him. I unplug the starter for the propane stove. (wish the knobs were removable) Would turn off the breaker for microwave, but fridge is on that one. I'd have to stand on a chair or stool to unplug the microwave; so haven't done that yet. Thinking of a bicycle lock for the fridge. He's a toddler; and I'm looking forward to the infant stage when he won't get into so much "trouble." HA A different kind, I suspect. Sometimes I scream and rant and cry--but not at him. Frustration, disappointment. I wasn't promised a rose garden, but this is a field of weeds.
Both Verizon Wireless and Sprint have a "chaperone" phone....for parents to be able to find children or us to find AD patients. The "child" phone is the one your spouse wears on his belt (he can use it if he can still dial) but what I wanted was the fact that I could find his location at any time on my "parent" phone. My husband and I got them the day he was diagnosed and he knew that it was how I would always be able to find him and that unless he was in the tub or in bed, he wore it. I never had difficulty with him wearing it. He could call me at first (I had it programmed for dialing 2 for me) and he would open it to take my calls for even longer.
It gave me a sense of peace knowing I could find him.
No, he doesn't answer....you just go to "chaperone" and put in his number and it tells you his location and has a map with a dot showing you where he is....It is wonderful!!!
Vickie, I would want to have him used to carrying it with him at all times. (In case you needed to call him, of course!) The sooner it becomes habit, the easier to get them to keep it on them.
My husband had that on his cellphone until he could no longer use the phone. He used to carry it everywhere but now won't even put it in his pocket, so I discontinued the service. When I first got it, he was still ablle to go for long walks and I could check on him to see where he was. With Verizon you can do it from your phone or the computer. It shows where they are and how fast they are walking. It did give me peace of mind. I could always go pick him up if needed.
Now that he won't/can't use the phone, I enrolled him in Safe Return and he wears a dog tag. He no longer goes anywhere by himself and I have double keyed deadbolts on all the doors.
Deb, double keyed deadbolts? Does that mean what I think it means...you have to use two different keys in order to open the door! That sounds like a great idea. My DH is starting to wander but so far it is during the day, sometimes a little before I get out of bed but I think it well just be a matter of time before it is in the night too.
Sorry, that was rude Sheila, I am very glad that you are here. Keep reading and writing, it is a very comforting thing to be able to talk to people that are going through the same thing that you are.
No, it just means that you need a key to open the door from the inside too. It's the same key as the deadbolt but instead of the handle you turn to lock the deadbolt, you need a key. My locks all can be opened with one key which I keep with me at all times. I also have keys hidden around the house. My husband doesn't really wander anymore but he does get up earlier than me on some days and this way I know he can't leave the house. I originally used the locks because he would leave the house whenever he had a chance. I couldn't even go to the bathroom. These locks have lessened a little bit of the stress.
Thanks Deb, that's good to know that they have those. So if I went to a hardware store all I would have to tell them is I want a double deadbolt for my front and back door and they would know what I want or is there another term for it?
I hired a Locksmith and he ordered all the matching hardware for my (three) doors and installed and keyed for my original key on all deadbolts. You can buy double keyed deadbolts at the hardware store and have them installed or install them yourself.