For a while now, when we are having a meal at a restaurant, my husband wants to leave the moment he is finished his food. I always have to remind him that I must pay the check, must get my credit card back, etc. Even at home when we entertain guests, he wants them to leave when the food is finished. Neither of these situations is problematic, I can smooth it over. Lately, however, this has morphed into a problem at his daycare program, where he becomes anxious and agitated after they finish serving lunch, asking over and over when I'm coming to get him. After a short "suspension" for acting out this past week, I am taking him back to daycare but will pick him up at 1:00 when lunch is over. Has anyone else experienced this behavior and how did you deal with it? He has been on Seroquel for 4 years, it is helping, but I don't want to change his meds since the problems only arise at daycare.
If your husbands can still talk, this might not work.....but my husband couldn't talk for the last year -
When going to a restaurant, I always sit us in a booth, even if it requires waiting. He has to sit on the INSIDE, which means i control when he could leave. He usually ate slowly, so that I was finished before him. However, may I suggest that in addition to booth sitting, and maybe holding his hand under the table like a loving couple AFTER HE FINISHES, that you try ordering him a desert to eat while you finish eating? My husband would never turn down one of his favorite deserts!
Mary--I'm thinking that perhaps I will try ordering the dessert when I order the rest of the meal, and telling the server to bring it as soon as my husband finishes. Then he wouldn't have a break between courses. I always offer dessert, but sometimes he says he's full. However, if he sees it, perhaps he will eat it (which would be good--he is losing weight).
My DH always wants to leave a restaurant as soon as he finishes. Last night I was waiting for the server to box up some take out and also to pay the check. He said, I just stand so they can see me. I asked him if he wanted to go without the takeout. Even If we are with a group of friends he wants to leave even if the others are still eating. Forget about socializing. I hate this.
We have the same problem at community senior meals that we go to. I had decided not to go anymore (for this reason) but when the organizer called and said she didn't have enough participants and told me the menu, I gave in and we went again last week. It;s a three course meal and after each course he wants to leave. Dessert took a while to come, so when we had finally finished it I said "Would you like to go home now?" and he said, "No let's stay a while." So we stayed for coffee. Go figure. I try to sit with people who understand our situation so they won't be offended by his wanting to leave. But I think everybody understands.
I have this same problem except my DH leaves the table and wanders around the restaurant sitting down at a table with a family who has children and talks to them while they're eating. So far, the people have been friendly and seem to enjoy the way he interacts with their children but I think I need to get some of those cards that say he has Alzheimer's.
The booth advice is perfect. I always do the same thing, I even go so far as to make sure that Sharon is inside to my left.... otherwise I cannot comfortably reach across to feed her. She as not picked up a utensil in a very long time. We also try to take her to the same place... an Applebee's near our home. The people there have known us since before she got sick and they are very supportive and understanding. Some of the waitresses even come over to give her a hug (some of them hug me too which earns them a glare from Sharon even though she cannot remember my name).
Don't spend any money on the cards until you have contacted your local Alzheimer's Association Chapter. Our Chapter provides them for free--one of the guys in our support group was nice enough to laminate one for everybody.