LOs birthday is sunday so I made my friday trip to see her at ALH,its 65 miles away so I only go twice a week,when I got there today she was happy ,smiling an I gave her some things for her birthday an a card that said if I had it to do over I would marry her again,she started bawling an me too I guess an then she said I'll get my things so you can take me home,when I told her she had to stay her attitude changed an she told me to leave,she would walk home but she wasn't staying one more day at ALH,I left but it seems every visit ends the same way,makes for a long drive home.
ol don, so sad. I know have very hard it is to leave them even though you have no choice. I wish there was some way I could make your drive home easier.
Ol don I'm glad at least part of your visit went well. So very sorry that on this long horrible road we're on, you have to face those long rides home as well. (hugs)
I can only imagine what you must be going thru. I am so sorry this is happening to you. God is with you on that long ride home so don't forget to lean on him for peace and comfort. I know you were so happy to see your dw so happy. You have a kind, loving heart and your dw feels that. Remember she loves you and you make her happy. God Bless you tonight as you have your memories.....
Oh My....how hard is that. I don't know if I have the strength left in my to hear those kind of words. Don...you must be one strong person. Lucky wife you have.
Bless your heart, Don. I know. Same here. My drive is not that far (45) and I go almost every day. The ONLY thing that helps is to realize that its possible that when we leave, our loved ones go along with the regular doings of the ALF and that the helpers are good enough to keep them involved and doing other things. Its the long drive for US and that awful distress when I see that he really wants to leave with me but knows he can't. Our saving grace is that when I tell him that I've left the dog in the house and have to get back to let him out, DH is eager for me to leave and go take care of the dog. He never wanted the dog to have to stay inside and was constantly taking him out for walks..So that has helped me be able to leave at times.
Don, I'm sorry this is happening; it doesn't help one bit, especially when you've made the long drive. It's been discussed before on this site (I think it was part of a blog written by Tracy about the anger she had towards her husband because she felt that he was taking everything away from her.) It is the Alzheimer's, of course, that requires the spouse to safeguard the loved one, but like a two-year-old child, the Alzheimer's mind can only grasp that they're losing what they want. I still get flashes of this from my husband - though they've grown fewer and fewer - but he forgets almost immediately. Then he's fine, and I'm not, although my hurt has lessened over time as I see the bigger picture. Sorry as I am that he has Alzheimer's, and trying to do everything I can to make his life easier, I conclude that, overall, he is still hurting less than I am. I salute what you are doing, and the cost of it to you and to all caretakers. Somehow in all of this, we have to survive ourselves. Ain't easy. Here's a hug from me to you with love.