Those of you who can remember my "story" will understand. Not to bore you with details, but here goes. Roter Rooter charged me $900+ to clear out my sewer line a few months ago. Then the problem came back. I called to ask if there was any way they could help, but was told I needed a sewer line replacement at a charge of $6,200. The plumber I had today only charged $190 & said they often go behind Roter Rooter to clean up their mess. They said the problem would be taken care of for at least 2 years and they only charged $1,200 to replace the sewer pipe. I am only telling you this, because I had to use my H's shower yesterday to wash my hair to go to work.
He has called out of concern due to Roter Rooter ripping me off. Anyhow, during the conversation today he told me that his previous tenant (we converted a duplex into a single family home in 1999) had given out his phone # as his own and debt collectors started calling him. That sounded reasonable. Then he kept telling me the guy's name and that he had broken our front window. 10 years ago he told me that one of his tenants had broken his stained glass window in the front of the house. Today he asked me if I remembered that the front window was broken. I asked, what year would that have been. He said about 4 years ago. Well, of course, no window had been broken in the 10 years I had spent in the house, but he became so insistant that I gave in & said I did remember. I am so concerned about him. What tricks his mind is playing on him. There is nothing I can do, nor is there anything that can be done. I didn't realize I would still need this family again. After coming off the antidepressant, my emotions are back. It is like I have been numb for 3 years. I can't contact his brother, because, let's just say, he's "not normal." I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders. I can't live with him, because I would be crazy, but I can't abandon him either. It is not a crisis, but rather a knowing that I am the only one he has to care about him. He is totally unaware that his brain has been damaged. Sorry to ramble, but just needed to get this out. This stuff sucks. I don't know why I continue to be amazed by the way his brain works, but I know it is getting worse. I wish he had a family to depend upon, but he doesn't. I fear what the future will bring. He is divorcing me, but that doesn't relieve me of the responsibilty. (emotionally.) This is a very amicable divorce, he just "wants to move on." I wish someone would invite me to lunch Susan, just as an escape. Life is complicated and none of us expected any of this to happen. It is what it is. As you can tell, I am not asking for advice, for there is none to be given. I just wanted to communicate with others who would understand. Thanks.
Kitty, I remember when you first started posting about your concerns. No suggestions, just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. Yes, it is hard, from any angle.
You've gone through a horrendous time coming off the antidepressant, and it will probably take some time yet to settle down to your usual self. In the meantime, I want you to be kind to yourself first, before anyone else, and when you've had enough time, then re-evaluate your situation. That sounds like advice, which you say you don't want, so I'm making it message in the wind. Poof.
kitty when you separated if you recall your worst nightmare was he'd make a mess of your finances and ruin your credit. its sounding just a tad as though this end of the nightmare could be coming to bear. we know they are able to 'confabulate' so well during early stages - they can make up stories we all can believe. it could be that the ex renter using his tel/debt is not true and hes confused enough that its his own debt and creditors calling. as you know it hits us blindslide before we find out these things -
just keep in mind some of the stuff hes telling you may be only true in his mind. as mary75 says take it easy on yourself and glad you are making your way out of the antidepressants -
Thanks all. In a bit of a hurry here, have to get ready to go to work. Divvi, good take on things. At least when the divorce goes through, I won't have to worry about being financially responible for him or his finances as I was in the past. Confabulation is what brought me to this site in the 1st place. I didn't know the word back then, so I went on the other Alz site & said "creating memories." I was fished from that pond & brought here, and this has been my home since.
I have gone from lethargy a week ago to super energy now. It is amazing that antidepressants take away your emotions. I have all of them back now, some good, some not so good. People are telling me I sound like my "old self" now. I guess I have been MIA for 3 years.
I took your clue to come off antidepressants gradually, and so I phoned the pharmacist who advised me to half the dose for 1 week and then stop. I'm glad I did because yesterday I was out at a women's meeting and felt like I was going to faint and had a headache the rest of the day. I thought about you and caught a brief glimpse of what you must have gone through and saw that it was scary. But I slept well last night with good dreams and am more awake today. The most noticeable change in my mood is that I don't feel so hostile, even when I remember some of the machinations of my husband's children and ex-wife. I looked up the side effects of Trazadone, and found to my surprise that hostility is one of them. My theory is that my usual "Irish" response of quick anger had been tightened up with the Trazadone. I'm beginning to feel more like myself and not like a pistol-packing mama.
Mary, it took me two weeks to come off, but I was not on the same thing. Really hope you are not going too fast. You didn't say why you were coming off the drug. Headaches were the only withdrawal symptom I did not experience, although they were on the list. Good dreams are good. When you come off Lexapro/Celexa you have vivid dreams, and wow, did I have them. Glad you are not feeling the hostility now! I am so happy not to be on any medications. Like life before it fell apart.
I had a great day at work today, really enjoyed it. Having a lot of repairs done to the house on Friday, and then having the whole house painted. Keep in mind, I have not unpacked the majority of my stuff, because I figured why unpack it & have to move it around for the painters. I have at least 10 boxes of books boxed up in my living room (why unpack them, repack them), but my kitchen stuff is finally in the kitchen and not on my living room floor. They are going to install a new attic door/ladder Fri. and so much of what I have can go up there to be out of the painter's way. He will carry the heavy stuff up there for me at no charge!
I'm on my 3rd day with no diarrhea and feel like celebrating. Immodium and Gatoraid have been my friends for so long. I am hoping it was the Lexapro causing that & not the irritable syndrome that the gastroentologist diagnosed me with.
Mary75, I am so glad you posted about the Trazadone, Hospice put my husband on that drug as needed for some sleepless nights he was having, I am very cautious when it comes to medications for him mainly because he cannot tell me if he feels a side effect, I noticed that he did become hostile just after one tablet, this is not normal for him, and I knew it had to be the medication but then I also thought I may be over reacting. Please tell me any other feelings you had while on the drug. My husband cannot communicate and that is why I try to stay away from most medications, this one I did give him but not continuous.
Jane, the thing I noticed right away was that I felt "driven," I felt I had "an edge to me." For example, I don't like to vacuum, and usually break it up into 2 or 3 segments throughout the day. On Trazadone, I did it all at one go: I had that "edge" to get it done, felt "driven" to do that. It's true I got a lot accomplished by this "determination," but it was like being wound up tight. To answer Kitty's question, I forgot to take Trazadone one night this week, and I felt awake and good in the morning and all day and had such an "up"swing to my mood, that I thought I'd come off Trazadone to see if that omission was the cause of my friendlier attitude towards the world. I had noticed that my reaction to too many things was hostile. I understood from the doctor at the pain clinic who prescribed it that it would take about 2 weeks to get its full effect, and I'm expecting it will take about 2 weeks after I'm off it to get rid of the effects. I haven't heard of it being used intermittently before. Those are the only feelings I can identify with its use. It did make my mouth very dry, and this effect increased over time. Kitty, very good news that the diarrhea has stopped. I wonder if the medication is the cause; maybe you do have the symptoms of an irritable bowel, but the antidepressant is the cause of it.
Isn't it strange how things can be so different between people! My husband takes 2 trazadone a night and is fine, sleeps well, seldom wakes. But Seroquel which so many find useful makes him very agitated!
Strange it is. Seroquel and Trazadone made my DH very agitated. He only takes blood pressure meds and Pamelar and at night melatonin for sleep. He is very sensitive to meds. I gave him a xanax one night when he was so hyper and for about 15 minutes he was calm and then he really was hyper. Doubled his melatonin one night to 6 mg and he was up and down all night. I am learning to live with the delusions as they are easier to deal with than the effects of the medications.
Bama, How do you handle the delusions/hallucinations? I cannot stand them. I am starting DH tonight on Seroquel and hoping and praying they work without the agitation and other side effects. I guess I am just not handling any of this lousy disease very well.
Jean, I pray Seroquel works for you. Some days I handle the problems with the delusions and hallucinations good and other days I loose my cool. The days that he is friendly with the man is okay. He told me last night that the old fart shoots a lot of bull but the trying times are when he's upset and thinks there are several of them following him around (passes a number of mirrors or opens the door at night and sees his reflection in the storm door) really upsets me. I tried covering his big mirror in the bathroom but he just moved to my area to brush his teeth and was getting toothpaste all over the carpet or he was lifting the covering up so he could chat. He was really happy when I removed the covering over his mirror. I guess we will have to learn to tune them out like I use to do with the children. It could be worse, he could be violent or trying to run away so we have to deal with it.
Bama, My DH is like a dog with a bone once he gets something in his head. I thought yesterday was over and done with and then he brings it up again this afternoon. I hope the Seroquel does it job FAST!
Well, for me, my DH thought I was saying and doing things that I wasn't. He'd come out of his room late at night accusing me of something and yelling at me. It was very, very scary. One of the first things he suffered from with this disease were hallucinations. He saw things in the trees at night and he saw people in the house. When he first told me this he said he'd been having them for a long time, but they didn't upset him! After he went on Namenda the hallucinations stopped.
My experience with Namenda was that the hallucinations got worse. When we cut the dose back it seemed to help. My DH hallucinates mostly when he wakes from a dream whether during the night or after a nap. Whatever he was dreaming about becomes his reality and I cannot re-direct him.
Thought I would update my experience with coming off the antidepressant Trazadone. On the advice of the pharmacist (and Kitty had raised the question), I was to take 1/2 of the usual dose for 7 nights. Tonight will be the 7th night. Physically I feel better, more alert, and the pain is controlled okay by just Tylenol alone. But I have had a difficult week with my husband's eldest daughter, and I've had trouble understanding what it is that the Care Facility Social Worker wants. Her messages are mixed, and DH's care has been affected by the confusion. Plus, today, I was stuck in a car wash by the machinery in spite of sounding the horn repeatedly and with no response from the attendant. (I finally backed out.) So the bottom line is that I feel more agitated than I would like to. Spoke to the pharmacist again just now, and she suggested taking another week on the 1/2 dose. So I don't know if it's the situation, or the coming off the medication.
mary75, i'd be bonkers if I had been stuck in a car wash!
KITTY: Hey Girl! Nice to see your name again here. I am doing significantly better these days and on the bad days I'm able to fight like heck to keep the darkness from overtaking me. Better living through chemistry. I'm exhausted these days from trying to start living "my life" again. Out of practice. And it's a good thing the antidepressants seem to be working because things have been piling on like for most of us. Remember Laugh In? Sometimes I feel like standing in the middle of the street with a SOCK IT TO ME sign on. Keep posting Kitty and get the gun away from him when you can.