Still waiting to hear from Dean and Starling. DH went today for the SIXTH time (every time is an event,and I'm still very nervous about getting him to go.) He protested, so I got into the bus with him, but when he had his seat belt fastened I got out again, telling him about all the shopping I had to do. I gave him two small Snickers bars, one for him and one for the bus driver. (He is always the first one to be picked up.)
This week he has taken along a spiral notebook, which we have decorated with some of his favorite pictures of our pond, grandchildren, the two of us. We keep a brief diary in it of what we do each day. The carer wrote today that Siem is very attached to the book, carries it around all day long, and she had to do a lot of talking to get it away from him long enough to write in it! I think it's become a kind of security blanket for him.
I am very careful about getting him to respond to the day care experience, fearing the statement that he doesn't want to go there. He did say that a couple times at first, and I pretended I hadn't heard it. But today he said it was "good." It helped that they had a small St Nicholas celebration and gave him a chocolate letter S (for "Siem") to bring home.
Must be really lucky to live in Lincoln NE. All the facilities with Memory Care provide day care as well. We have a rehabilitation hospital that does not have a memory unit, but does provide adult day care. We have several services we can hire to come in for day care...Care Consultants for the Aging, Home Instead, and other national franchises. I currently use the services of a friend (we have an homeowner's umbrella policy) and she charges us as part of her other business, that is per hour as a consultant. She directs his daily activities--cues DH on how to do household chores, helps with Wii, reads newspaper to him, fixes him lunch, takes him out for errands/walks at the church when weather bad. Least expensive option that fits into my work schedule is the adult day care...the others seem to assume we are all retired and taking our LO to day care just for a break...not punching a clock. When DH can no longer do household chores, then he will go to day care every day. He enjoys the socialization both of the in-home and of the day care settings. I handle the whole situation like I did with my kids...positively express that 'this will be fun' and then use their activities calendar to 'talk about' his day...he has aphasia and basically can only answer yes/no.
Jeanette, you are doing it all right. what a good idea to have him journal in his 'diary'. it is a security blanket to them. something to carry in his hands and goes from home to daycare. its a good thing:) my DH carried his breifcase a small one with him for a VERY long time. he'd open/close it ALL day long and go thru his important papers and stuff- i made sure he could 'find' something new in it every day he would be overjoyed at something he hadnt seen. awww.. long time ago. divvi
My husband goes into day care NEXT Tuesday, which is why I haven't commented yet. Today we did the doctor's visit, got his quarterly "fasting" blood test without him fasting, and the TB test he has to have before Tuesday. On Saturday I get the TB test read and the paperwork finished and signed. On Tuesday we go into the day care, I do paperwork there, and then my husband will stay and have lunch there while I get my first respite in months.
Good luck Starling. What days will he be going? Divvi, what a good idea, about the briefcase. I'm going to remember that. For right now, I plan to add a photo to his booklet every time, so he will always have something to show when he gets there.
I am getting some shocked reactions when I tell people that DH is in day care. I go on to explain that it's because he's bored at home in this nasty weather, and that they play stimulating games there, but I think people tend to see it as the first step to placement (which in our case is nowhere in sight).
He will be going Tuesday and Wednesday for most of this month. I've got doctor's appointments set up for the wrong days. But once I get to January I'm going to try for a regular Tuesday/Thursday schedule.