After jumping through I don't know HOW many hoops, my husband is finally getting a home evaluation from Medicaid/Choices For Care. Since he "presents" well, what should I expect? Does anyone know what type of questions they might ask? If he is just asked to carry on a conversation, he can do that, however, if asked the time, or to follow a direction, he can't.
I have mixed feeling about this. I have been told so many different things from different doctors, nurses and organization. The point being, neither one of us are safe with him at home. Eventhough I was told he needed immediate place last Feb, nothing has happened. Oh yes....there was the 2.5 day stay in the hospital (August).........only to be admitted again the next day. The hospital 'specialist' said that he was too alert for a Nursing Home. Okay, what about Level 3? If I haven't been able to leave him alone at all for the last 3 years, shouldn't he require some sort of care? His PC did have a talk with the hospital 'specialist' and insisted he be placed. I guess that just isn't done anymore..... or doesn't work anyway.
At least my own doctor has decided that I needed a round of prednisone...which of course means that I am AWAKE!!!! I don't make any sense, but I am AWAKE! And, I continue to fill out the endless paperwork! Just when I think that I am done, they send more! Gosh, I just don't know how you all do it. How DO you do the paperwork?
Placement problems include that he IS still mobile (thank goodness), money (too much LTD or not enough) and his age.
Well, thanks for listening to me rant. But, back to the main question.........if anyone remembers-lol.... Does anyone know what type of questions he will be asked for this evaluation? (BTW, I did ask, but the nurse was on a cell phone and couldn't take the time) She's coming on Monday morning!
Thanks to everyone and welcome to those who are new...........Haven't posted as much lately due to DH hospital stay and my own health (did I mention that I tripped IN the hospital and broke my wrist?)-- I continue to read your posts though............Thank goodness for Joan and everyone else!
Okay..........I hope this is a medication side effect! Slow down, Ann!
I didn't do the endless paperwork. I had help from the nursing home social worker. He filled out the scary first set of paperwork and doing the rest of it was remarkably easy.
I've been denied temporarily. I need to spend down. Like you said too much money. But I have asked the county caseworker a bunch of questions, and I'm going to be OK.
As for the placement itself. My family doctor chose the right hospital and sent me in with specific words (no, I don't remember what they were) and it was the Emergency RN who actually made the decision that it was not safe to send him home or me home with him. And he wasn't all that out of hand at that point. After that she mustered a couple of doctors and a one on one aide, sent for the social worker, and the rest was history.
Starling, It makes me sad to read that you and so many of our group have to " spend down" so that we can qualify for help...maybe we should just say..".work toward poverty" before we get help.
The elder care lawyer told me we would not qualify even if we went the divorce route since DH has so much income from his retired pay, SS and VA disability each month..and I said no to divorce..it is a matter of vows and honor to me..somehow I'll have to find a way to protect what assets we have and what is my sole and separate property..got to be a way.
I am not sure if all agencies do the same type of testing? Lynn was very active when he was first evaluated. I think that was a bonus for us. They could see that he was a "busy body" and needed CONSTANT attention!! They observed him..... they saw him try to put a paper plate on the burner to heat up toast. By that time I had already dealt with a small kitchen fire he started when I left him for mere seconds to go to the bathroom, so I had the breaker to the stove shut off. But it still proved to show them just how unsafe he was and how closely he needed to be watched.
They were impressed that he could make himself a PB and Jelly sandwich. They were not so impressed that he forgot he ate it and had several more "lunches" during their visit. That brought help with meals on wheels, what a huge help that was! They did ask him many of the same type of questions the doctors did, and they even had him draw the clock. Which brings back a funny memory! She asked him to draw her a clock, he couldn't. So, he took the clock off the wall and said she could have that one instead LOL. The questions were simple, what was his name? Did he have children? (he said no, he has 4) What year it was? Who was president? etc etc
They also did a skill level test by seeing if he could follow simple directions. And then a 3 part direction test. Like sit down, pick up the pen, and write your name. Failed! They were pleasant and I found them very helpful and understanding. The paperwork was indeed A LOT! I have always been an organization paperwork freak, so it was easy for me to get my hands on everything I needed. I made an appointment with the local state agency, and they filled out the paperwork with the information I brought. I only wanted to do the same process once, so I figured they would be better at getting it right lol
They WILL help you with this process for free. If they don't, they will tell you who will. Take a few deep breath, you will get through it ((hugs)) ♥
LFL What have you tried? I am hoping that when our trust is redone, since the man who did it after 2000..the reviews and updates was disbarred and didn't reveal that, our elder care lawyer is going to keep the original trust as the basis and then aftere 2000 it is to be all done over. And I hope that there is a way to put my parents gift of $$ which I have taken care of to grow into a nice sum along with a bit from my aunt and uncle, can be put into some kind of instrument that is safely away from having to use for any medical stuff..at least so as to let it grow if I need to fall back on it. DH has always said he wanted nothing to do with that fund.. His income is not bad but too much for him to qualify..I don't know, maybe there is a way to set something up to protect him and me.. I have heard of some homes that are well run in our area that take 4 to 6 residents and do not cost as much so that will be something to look into and of course there is always the in home method but I dread that too..
Lately I am just tired and beat down and tired. And the way friends drift off...well you know who your friends are when the times get tough...
Evaluation over.........Husband did everything they asked, with the expection of the clock. He actually put on a jacket and got a glass of water for himself. Guess he's cured! So, with those observations, he doesn't qualify. Now, in the last 3 years he has NEVER been able to put on his clothes or grab a glass of water. Is this just me? Maybe if I just left him alone he'd be okay. He seems to "perform" for everyone else.
I have spent the last 5 weeks dotting every I and crossing every T because THIS was the only way to have him admitted to the Nursing Home. I agree, I'd love to see him inbetween Level 3 and a Nursing Home, but it isn't going to happen. Not unless he does something to me or himself first. Which, if it was mental, it has already happened.
I'm actually considering leaving. I don't know what else to do. But, I don't have anywhere to go. ----I'm so tired of following the "rules". I really think it is time to give up.....At least I have put up a good fight.
Ann, I wish I knew why they can perform for strangers when they can't do it alone....but it happens all the time. See if your doctor and get them to come and re-test him...
Had you told him that they were coming? Did you have him dressed or did he do it himself? I ask because if they have no warning, they usually don't do as well. And also, the answer that caught my husband off guard and got the testing and diagnosis was "name all the animals that you can and take your time" and my husband could only name three and didn't even list a cat or dog! However, he could pass the *#@ mini-test with flying colors at that time!
If you can get them to return, have them come after 4 p.m. when the sundowning may start.....and never answer for him or look at him when they are asking him questions...good luck to you!
I asked for an afternoon appointment, but nothing has been available. And yes.......I made the mistake of getting him dressed, shaved and showered. I know, I should have, but I did. Hopefully she will talk to his PC who does think he should be admitted. I also asked to leave the room so that he would have to answer the questions, but was asked to stay. He answered...going on and on with all of the things that he does every day. I finally put a stop to it when it was suggested he give 'talks' about medciations! I know, perhaps that was a way to get him to think that he had a job, but really..........What is someone believed him?
Thanks Mary....Going to hide under the covers for now.......Let's see if he can get through lunch without me feeding him! Or maybe a glass of water! ARGH!
it would most likely be considered 'desertion' and since you already tried to prove him incompetent of faculties you could be held liable for abandoning a disabled person. ie elder abuse. not a good thought. they would take him into adult protection services and you could face penalty and prosecution if something happened to him. not a good thought. if you seriously want to leave talk to a lawyer first. i may be wrong but i wouldnt risk it to find out. sorry. i hope your day is better. maybe like mary suggested try a new evaluation at a later date. and DONT do a thing for him that day. they need to see him as you do. divvi
I'd never leave Divvi, but sometimes a jail cell doesn't sound so bad.......I'm just grasping at straws here.......He needs more care than what I can give to him and with because of that, I feel helpless. Just trying to figure out how he can receive the proper care he deserves.
AnnMW1157--have you checked with your local Area Agency on Ageing? They may be able to help or connect you with resources for in-home help, daycare, etc. Also, check if there is another Hospice in your area. See if you can get an evaluation from them. Be sure, if you can do that, that you do nothing to prepare him. Don't speak for him. If you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom to remove yourself from the area so as not to cue him, do that. Try getting the eval in the later afternoon during the Full Moon if you have to.<grin>
I did start with the Office On Ageing when he was diagnosed 3 years ago, at age 59. I have followed all of their suggestions just short of the CHOICES FOR CARE gap for Medicaid.........My husband wasn't ready for it at that point and his age and income were factors. Now....when I do fill out every last paper and go through every interview, I'm told he presents too well. I'm THRILLED that he presents well to them. He still isn't the man I knew. This horrible disease has taken so much from him. But for anyone who never had met him before today, he was just a polite, soft spoken man who still couldn't do a clock, but was able to get a glass of water by himself AND put on a jacket! He has NOT done that for 3 years. My son is home for a short time and it took BOTH of us to get his arms in the correct places. He's a tall man too.......6'4".
You are right, I should have made sure he was showered, dressed and shaved.....He usually buttheads me when I shave him anyway. But, it is the way he would want to look. I can't put that out of my mind. He is such a proud man, and wish he would be treated with the dignity he so deserves.
I did mention that I do not believe I could handle him for another Vermont winter. Too many falls and he has osteoporis. Not even to mention the physical and mental problems I deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel as if I must be the weakest person in the world not to be able to handle this anymore.
Why is it that something horrible must happen before he is admitted into a nursing home? Must we what until he is 65? I don't think he'll even be with us then.
We live in a very small Vermont town, with one nurse who does the who state..........Doesn't seem that any of them are on the same page. I guess it is supposed to be okay because I'm 53 and young enough to go through this. I just spent the 7 years prior talking care of my dying parents. We don't have a support system, other than our college-age son. He is home for a bit.....He was trying to make this work too. My husbands family want me to put him away and forget all about him. His daugh
continued........His daughter and brother have both blamed me for the disease......Of course, we've all heard this one before...So, I'm no different from anyone else here, I guess. Just need to vent.
I will look into Hospice though. Not sure how that differs or if he would qualify if he was still mobile, but it is worth a try.
Just a big thank you to Joan and everyone for being here....I so need this board! One day there will be something GOOD to share, but in the meantime.......thank you for listening, understanding and just being here!
I am sorry you had such a difficult day ((Ann)). I also am sorry I didn't understand that you were looking for information on the qualifications for nursing home admittance. I thought you were doing a home evaluation for in-home help. That is where I started. We had a case manager appointed by the state, she came by every couple of months just to chat with me, check on Lynn and see how things were going. We had nurses coming in, and he qualified for much more, but he was too resistant. They said they would not risk their workers being hurt. They would not even attempt to bathe him, etc etc. I was told that if he says no, they can't do anything. That floored me because how is he suppose to know what is best for him?
That was when our case manager suggested that I would need to go for legal guardianship. I really liked her and we worked good together , until she told me I should place Lynn. Then I was angry, because I didn't want to face what I already knew. She was sweet about it and didn't push me, but she did continue to remind me I needed to think about what would be best for Lynn. And that was the right button to push, because ALL I ever wanted was what was best for him.
We didn't need an interview for nursing home placement, by the time I came to acceptance, he meet all their criteria and then some. Were you able to get some in home help based on this interview? It wouldn't matter how he "presents" with a diagnoses of AD, he qualifies for some assitance if medicade has approved you. Best of luck and keep venting ((hugs))
Ann--I have read over this thread and need a little clarification. It sounds to me like you are trying to get him qualified for nursing home level care so that Medicaid will cover the expenses, but he isn't ready for a nursing home yet (based on the in-home evaluation). I Googled "Choices for Care Vermont" and looked at it quickly--it does cover adult daycare, inhome help, etc. Since you clearly need respite and help in taking care of him if he's at home, can't he be reevaluated to see if he qualifies for any of those services under the program? There must be an appeals process in place.
Can you get help from his primary care doctor, whom you said "insisted he be placed"?
Mimi, our elder law attorney advised that I could "gift" the properties I own with my sister to her (which I've done) but of course it will be subject to the 5 year look back. As for the cash I received from parents death, the only way to protect that is to put in an irrevocable, interest only trust (so I've been told). That means we would only have access to the interest and the principle would be part of my estate. We don't have children, so I really don't want to pass on any monies to other family members. Then with the IRAs, I was advised to convert them and put them into an irrevocable trust. That would be finacially disasterous because we would end up paying all the taxes at coversion (a significant amount) and then have to put into an irrevocable trust. I am seeking a new elder laww attorney for other options.