I have been mulling this over for the past few days..I know someone who has a parent that has obvious memory problems. The parent forgets just about everything concerning what they just did or where they went, has demonstrated shadowing and the anxiety of needing to know where the family member in particular as the case may be, is...but at the same time is aware of current events or most of it, and is on aricpet and namenda.
Is someone put on these two drugs who does not have memory impairment? I have been trying to impress upon the children of this woman to have her seen..I don't think they get this? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to encourage them to sort of get the picture? I think there is a lot of denial going on and as we all know the sooner there is a DX the sooner planning can beging on how best to help a person like this. I have tried to get them to understand symptoms, and the artful dodgers they can be, how well they can cover up things.. Any ideas would be so helpful.. I did explain what aricept and namenda is for but still....
Mimi, obviously she has been seen by someone if she is on Aricept and Namenda. A lot of families are in denial or just don't want to discuss it.....there is still a stigma connected with the disease for lots of people.
Mimi: Really...what difference does it make whether they want to acknowledge the facts or not. There is nothing that can be done. A doctor had to prescribe the aircpet and namenda and that is probably all that can be done anyway. If the family wants to be in denial....what does that hurt???
I know a doctor RX the medications but one of the problems is the husband of this woman gets angry, thinks she is being lazy etc because he is not taking the interest he should. If the kids don't get this and pretty soon, things could get really out of hand.
MiMi, How sad! In my case my children & I saw the signs, but DH was & still is in total denial. Hopefully that family will wake up & do what is best for everyone. Maybe all you can do right now is to be there for them.
Yes I think so..but they see what is going on with their dad.. I think adding mom to the mix is just too frightening and painful. But that won't stop the AD train wreck...I know they have talked to the husband and stressed he needs to go to appointments but will he?
IMHO, I think one reason to get the whole family on board with a diagnosis is that it's nearly impossible to keep someone with dementia safe if the family doesn't know what the dangers are and how to deal with them. Do they know how dangerous it is for someone with dementia to drive? Do they know about wandering, and not being able to find their loved one in time? Do they realize that even something they have taken for granted for years, like mom cooking meals, could wind up being dangerous for her?
If dad gets angry because he doesn't understand how this disease is affecting his wife, it sounds like she could be at risk of abuse to get her to "straighten up" and get back to being normal again. As painful as it will be for the whole family to have to accept what the disease will mean to their loved one, that's infinitely better than living with regret because they let harm come to her because they didn't want to have to deal with it.
I agree, Jan.....but if someone won't read the handwriting on the wall, what are you going to do? Beat them about the head and face? Although that is something I am sure a lot of us would like to do once in a while.....LOL!
This is a interesting thread and I just started thinking about our situation. I can't think of anyone doubting my dh situation. Wonder if that means he had signs visible to them - before I accepted that he had it?
The only one to read the smoke signals was ME! After reading the posts on this site for the past couple of years I realized my DH started long before Dx. I thought he had turned into a grouchy old man way back when not realizing that it was the start of AD. I will say one thing for the Aricept commercials...it was them that made me get an an appointment with our PCP because his memory was bad. Of course our PCP sent him to a neuro who sent him for and MRI and we found out it was AD. I will say he is much nicer now than he was (except for paranoia and hallucinations). He has been on Aricept for 3 years and Namneda for a little over 2 and the Sertraline which have helped some with the hallucinations. His memory is still bad and probably worse and i expect it will get even worse as time goes by.
One of the problems with friends is that they well may see signs before we do since we are so close to the forest or rather in the middle of it. The harm is when they don't have the courage to say something.
Coworkers and friends of my husband's saw the signs before I did, because it was hard for him to cover up at work and while playing golf and poker. However, no one (including our investment advisor, who also saw signs) said something to me. When I asked a friend later what he thought was causing DH's memory loss at the time, he said "normal aging". That was when DH was in his late 50's. Although the investment person didn't tell me what she detected, she did act in our best interest and for that I am forever grateful.