kitty its good to see you post after such long time! sorry your health is amiss. many of us have issues cropping up for nervous stomach etc, general caregiver issues over time it does that. as does some meds like you say- DH is on hospice since jan and as such is no longer my 'hooligan'. :( i told yall i 'd miss those antics once he became bedridden. basically all mobility is gone except some steps with two of us holding him for balance. such is this disease. they tend to plateau then steep declines etc. stage 7 is going much faster. i hope you continue to let us know how you are and your health and apt issues get better. and as far as no 'complaints'? ha. there is ALOT of under the breath mumbling around here daily! grin divvi
Kitty, I was so glad to read your post and find out how you are. I think of you often. Are you still working in the interior design field? It's marvelous you are able to have a good relationship with your husband; I know that you continued to be kind to him, that must be the key. Your experience with the antidepressant was a shocker, both the diarrhea and the symptoms coming off. About 4 year ago, a hospital pain clinic prescribed 25 mg. of Trazadone and 1300 mgs. of Tylenol at bedtime for pain from Ankylosing Spondilitis,which gave me a good night sleep but left me feeling I had a blanket over my head until about noon. I forgot to take the meds last night - there they were on the bedside table when I woke up - and although I woke up more often during the night, I did have a good sleep. But it's the change in my mood that is surprising. It's up! Definitely up! I'l try a repeat tonight, and if I need to, take only the Tylenol. To update you on my husband, he'll be 91 in a couple of months and is going downhill all the time, more rapidly in the last few months. Hope you will keep us posted on how you are.
The weekend was filled with lots of ups and downs. I had a lovely visit with my husband on Friday. He was in a good mood and very cuddly (snuggled in when I laid my head on his shoulder). Saturday it was a whole different story. He was having a bad day and could not swallow. I watched them try and give him food and he just held it in his mouth struggling to swallow. The nurse removed the food from his mouth with a spoon. I stayed with him until he calmed down but then had to take a short walk to get my waterworks under control. I felt so bad for him. I know he will be having good and bad days with more and more bad ones until the end but it is so hard to watch this.
So the ups were I went to church yesterday. Sometimes things just fall together. The music was just what I needed to hear. The message was just what I needed to listen to. I really hadn't planned on going but decided to and am very glad I did. I even got in touch with the knitting group so I can join them after he goes.
In spite of the emotional upheavals of the weekend, I actually got 2 of the smaller gardens weeded and trimmed. I even got 6 mums planted. It felt good to get that done. It was my only real goal of something to accomplish over the weekend and I did it.
Therrja it's great to have an achievable goal and then accomplish it. Good for you. Maybe I'll be inspired to get the tulip bulbs in -- the ones that I never got in last year.
It's been a "working" day here at our house. Got up with all this energy. After breakfast started to clean my kitchen cabinets. DH wanted to help, so I sat him down at the kitchen table with a micro-cloth and stainless steel polish and the toaster, the breadbox and can opener and asked him if he'd like to clean them. He was elated! So, I got the cabinets and countertops cleaned, even cleaned one bathroom - and he was still at work! Took him about 2-1/2 hours, kept him busy and they really did look good when he finished!
During all this our plumber came, one commode was leaking at the floor and one faucet leaking - so he fixed all that. Our mower came this afternoon, then put in the last two plants for fall planting.
So I feel it's been a productive day and now I know who to call for any stainless steel cleaning!LOL
Thank you all! (Spent the day with plumbers and now all is fixed.) Good to reconnect. Thanks for sending your updates. Sorry to hear all the news, however. It saddens me. Every day I am off Lexipro gets better, but I feel like I should have been in the hospital with people taking care of me. I know many of you are on antidepressants, and I just have to warn you if you are on a seratonin reuptake, (don't know the clinical term) please read all about the symptoms of coming off it prior to doing it. My energy is slowly coming back. Can you imagine being too exhausted to read your emails for almost a month? Got lucky, the plumber's assistant has a handy man business, and he is coming Thurs. to fix the hole in my roof & replace my dryer vent pipe which is full of lint. (fire danger.) Had my kitchen painted a celery green which really cheers me up when I look at it.
My H is still so protective of me, even though he repeats things over & over, which I can now stand, because I know he is coming from a good place. (And I'm not living with him.) As divvi would say, haha.
Note To Self Self - Treat this new life as the beginning of a long journey to the most beautiful place you have ever been = yourself. Treat yourself with the utmost of care but not so delicately that you can't bend as do the branches of a tree. Remember God did not make you to be broken....
On that note, I need some advice! I've been asked to lunch by a very nice gentleman. I want to say yes, It's been so long since I've been treated as anything but a caregiver! Yikes, what should I do!
OMG, it has been soooo long since I have been on a "date" Yikes, what do I wear, I never expected this, but surprises are nice, right????? Oh boy, it's only lunch, right, just lunch, lol, I'm laughing because when I met Jim it was "just coffee", we got married 9 mos later!!!! What will happen if I advance to "just lunch" lol! Oh, crap, I'm nervous. I was saving myself for the wealthy, old guy that Phranque takes care of, lol!!!!!!
Go for it Susan!!!!!! Remember, you are still a woman. Like Bama said, it's just lunch. Whatever you were wearing when you met him must have been o.k. So, I don't think what you wear is that important. Just dress casually like it's not a big deal. Hope to hear the details ♥
Had our neuro visit today and the results of the computer test DH took in July. Seems is above average for spatial and distance but in all the other areas it is a minus 1 or 1.5. He is stable and seems his progression is of a slow type. We don't need to return until July next year unless something happens. The doctor said he is at the mild to moderate level.
I am going out for lunch today with my DH. It's his birthday (82) and as far as I can tell he is still in the mid stage. He's had a couple of days where he has been confused. One morning he asked what had happened the night before, I told him "Nothing...we watched TV, you went to bed and I watched a bit more TV and then I went to bed". The same as every night. Then one evening he was looking for "clippers". I thought he meant his nail clippers but finally figured out he meant scissors. He was looking in the kitchen sinks and even lifting up the dish drainer and rubber pad. I gave him a small pair from my sewing room and that took care of that! He was also looking for his "knife". We have been married for over 44 years and I have never known him to have a knife so I don't really know what he was looking for. I hope today won't be one of those days and we can have a good day ALL day. I hope everyone has a good day today.
Well, I can relate to what Charlotte said about imagining dating after many more years of marriage. If dating again after 7 years seems scary, then what I felt after 25 yrs with my ex husband was Terrifying, but less so than the thought of staying married to him.!!!! LOL
KITTY: does the local police dept know about your husbands condition??? I cannot imagine him with a concealed weapon!!!! This is worrying me Big Time!!!!
I am now a suspicous fur-mommy. I saw one of the dogs take a flying leap at a tree in the backyard this morning. I couldn't see anything moving but it could have been a squirrel or the possum is still in the backyard. Did I mention that the dog that took the leap was the one that was limping so badly a couple of months ago. I am so happy with how well she has healed. She is one of the dogs that has a smiley type of face so she had a big smile as she took that leap.
I am reading a terrific book to my husband. It is called "Angel Cats: Divine Messengers of Comfort". I love the stories in it and some of the other residents do too. The things that our animals do to help us can be amazing.
As my husband progresses (he is now on lots of morphine and they are no longer pushing him to eat - if he eats and drinks fine if not that is okay too), I find that my furry kids as sticking very close. My lap is a revolving lap for the cats - when one leaves another comes up. The dogs are sticking close and I seldom wake up alone. Now this could also be a product of the cooler weather but whatever the reason, I am so glad that they are there, petting them and caring for them is such a comfort.
Today is a hot one here in the Chicago area. Almost 90 and humid!
I've been taking care of my daughter's cat, Sullivan, for the last 4 months and today we are taking him back to her. I'm going to miss the little guy (not really so little he's almost 15 pounds). Right now he is trying to lay on the keyboard and pushing at my hand. I thought about getting a cat but then I wouldn't be able to watch my daughter's cat. The reason he has been staying with me was her roommate had a cat first and Sullivan didn't get along with her. She's a little thing but Sullivan was scared out of his mind and had started pulling his hair out and being very stressed. Now, since my daughter has moved, he will be the only cat. Just the way he likes it. :)
Both of my cats died the month before my husband did. I wondered what would be taken from me next. On a whim I wandered into Petco and found my little girl, Gracie. She is a blue eyed Siamese mix, very small and with all her claws. She is the most loving, outgoing and gentle cat I have ever had. Don't know what I would do without her. Of course this afternoon she brought me a small snake and put it on my bed. She is an indoor cat so I have no idea where she found it.
Bluedaze - don't you just love their gifts? Sometimes I have to really struggle to tell them what brave and wonderful hunters they are when inside I am going eek! So far, I have been lucky - no snakes. I've never seen one in our area so don't know if they are even around but it is definitely not on my list of wants. I know that they are good for gardens and all but just do not want to have one brought home. Can you tell that I don't respond well to snakes? Birds, mice, rabbits and squirrels I can deal with and even the various bugs but just not snakes.
What a terrific hunter Gracie was to find it and bring it to you though.
Since we're talking about cats, I have to tell you what my sister's cat did. My mother was having a tea party for a bunch of her friends. My sister's cat came in with a mouse that it had just caught, dropped it in the middle of the living room floor, and proceeded to play with it (mouse was still alive). The women all wanted to shriek and climb up on the chairs, but were afraid that would distract the cat and the mouse would get away. My mother, who was quite used to such gifts, thought the whole thing was very funny.
The Bastard, called me tonight, and said HE wasn't ready????? Wants to wait till he retires in the spring. I hate men. Lets face it, Life Sucks, then You Die! So sorry to disappoint you all. S
Susan, Maybe someone has said something to him if he has mentioned taking you for lunch. You know how people talk especially when they don't really know what is going on! I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.
September motivation thought for the day. Wishing is good for us. Daydreams, fantasies, castles in the air, and aspirations all drive us forward, impel us to make things happen. They also tell us a lot about ourselves. Our wishes come straight from our core, and they are loaded with vital info. Author unknown.
Oh Susan, sorry. Calm down girl, you don't hate men. Remember you had a husband you loved dearly. Re the police. Nothing I can do as there is nothing in my H's medical records about his problem. He got the gun, because now he travels for his so called business of buying property tax liens, and someone tried to break into his motel room. He has never been violent, but yes it is a concern. I will just have to keep an eye on things and as they worsen, as is inevitable, I could then contact the authorities. Gracie, bluedaze what a great story. My grandmother's cat used to kill mice and then put them in her bedroom slippers as a gift. Imagine waking up to that! Sorry to be brief, have to get ready for work.
Susan, I am so sorry. What a jerk. Better to know now, than to waste your time on him. After all it is his loss. And in the spring you can tell him you are no longer in the mood.
Rough day for me here in PA. 25th anniversary of first husband's death. He died on our middle daughter's 17th birthday. Then today, a cousin whom I loved like a brother died unexpectedly from complications of surgery. On the upside, I did get an appointment at the WVU dental clinic for Charlie. It is a month away but that is quicker that the clinic in Pittsburgh could get him in. Had some rough storms here earlier and now calling for record heat tomorrow.
Here's a copy of a slightly edited email I sent to the Social Worker at my husband's Care Facility, who had asked me to bring her any problems. Would welcome your comments. Am feeling hostile again!
Dear S. W. Re. your voice mail suggestion to post my weekly visiting schedule in my husband's room in order to avoid today's problem: I have always posted my schedule a week in advance and left it in plain view in his room. Further, his children's lawyer has a recent schedule of my proposed visits. In the past, my husband's family have chosen to disrespect my visiting times, and I have had to have the Co-committee's lawyer address the issue with them. As you point out, it is difficult for your staff to be caught in the middle, and I regret that. When my husband phoned me early this afternoon, he was upset that his eldest daughter had phoned and told him that she and her husband were coming at 5:00 instead of between noon and 3:00, as she had previously posted on their calendar in his room. My husband knows that I come shortly before 5:00 p.m. 6/7 to help him with his dinner and get him ready for bed. I asked my husband to phone his daughter back and remind her that I would be there at 5:00 and to ask her to come another time. He had difficulty finding his glasses and then his personal phone book, and I was unsure he was going to be able to make the call at all, hence my phone message to you. With his Alzheimer's, my husband doesn't remember things clearly, and it is hard for me to piece together exactly what happened. I do know that something upset him enough to phone me. I think I know him well enough to know that there had to be a reason for him to be distressed, and though he has dementia, I've never known him to make things up out of the blue. It's my guess that he did phone his daughter after he had talked to me and that she did come earlier, but I don't know. I am sending a copy of this email to the Co-committee's lawyer to keep her informed. We have had to be firm with my husband's family in the past, and we may have to do the same again. mary75 Co-Committee and Health Care Representative
Just back from a wonderful bus trip/tour to NYC. First time in The Big Apple and first time on a bus tour. Thoroughly enjoyed both.
Got back last evening and it was wonderful to sleep in my own bed...LOL! Up early this morning for water aerobics class....now to tackle the laundry....
Mary that was well written. You certainly get your point across.
One of the things that sets me off is comments that people make as a result of their ignorance about the disease. My husband is in late stage 7 and I hear so many times "oh he doesn't know that anyway" or "he won't recognize me anyway". The fact is that he is often aware of what is going on around him and recognizes many people. I just patiently keep explaining that the disease affect people in many different ways and that while some don't recognize people, in my husband's case he does.
I am going to the Eastern States Fair tomorrow and am really looking forward to it. It may be my last day to get out and enjoy myself for a while.
Sitting here trying to type with an ice bag on my arm, got stung by two bees (or one bee twice) while trying to plant ivy along our ditch bank. Ow. (I'm not allergic or having a bad reaction but it still hurts.)
therrja - right on. My husband is stage 7 also and can not speak. People think he does not know them but I watch him when people come to visit. If we try to talk directly to him, he closes his eyes. I think this is his way of shutting us out since he can not respond to us. However, if we talk quietly among ourselves, he opens his eyes and I can see him following people with his eyes (especially the grandchildren). I think he is very aware of who we are.
JeanetteB--if you have ny meat tenderizer make a paste and coat the stings. Pain will go awy fast, and within a couple hours all you'll hve is a couple red marks--gone tomorrow. Sounds nutsbut it works. The tenerizer breaks down the protein in the poison. Speaking from experince--was stung on side under arm --very tender place.
The meat tenderizer works, but in case you don't have any, try a paste of baking soda and water. My husband recently was stung by jellowjackets, 5 times. I put the baking soda mixture on, first using some ice on the stings. Also, you should take some Benadryl, just in case you're allergic to the venom.
Thanks all, today just a little red, swollen and itchy. I don't have any meat tenderizer, could have used the baking soda. I spray the itch now with Solarcaine, which I always use on troublesome mosquito bites. Helps for a couple hours. No big deal. Getting ice I must have left the door of the upright freezer ajar. This morning there was a puddle on the floor and everything thawed. So guess what, that freezer is now defrosted, cleaned and DECLUTTERED. It was due. There's lots of stuff in the fridge though that needs to be used or cooked soon. I freeze lots of blackberries and they make a mess. I'll use as many as possible in a batch of jello this afternoon. DH will be delighted.
A slice of raw onion held against a bee sting works well. Someone told me that years ago and I didn't believe it until I got stung and didn't have anything else to try. Thought, what the heck. Be darned if it didn't work.
Back when we owned a beach house - we kept a dozen bottles of Lawry's Meat Tenderizer on handat all times for jelly fish stings. We dampened it with white vinegar - into a thick paste...and it worked beautifully. An old timer neighbor down the way swore by applying a wad of wet chewing tobacco on stings and said it workd better than tenderizer. There was no way I was going that route. yukee. nancy
Hello out there..I don't have to drive to see DH today as our daughter will be going after lunch. I've been trying to read along and catch up somewhat.. Yikes about the Inside Cat and Inside Snake!! Thats one of the scaries for me. Susan..its good to know a jerk right away..what a jerk! At least you may know what to wear when the much better fellow asks you to lunch!!!! Divvi, good to see typing from you toooo.. I jumped in and bought a nice mobile home this week..Scared now but its done. Its only about 3 miles from DH and a very very good location..It has 2 bdrms/2bths..large lving/dining. Actually its too big if one considers that I've spent a few nights in my little 16ft.Casita :)).. Its in a very very well managed place and I will feel perfectly safe there. Otherwise I can't even imagine the relief of not having to make that drive every day..AND there is a possibility (maybe?) that staying there will make it possible to have a time of 'normal' in addition to the regular daily visits with DH. We go out and do things now that we couldn't do before because we were too far from town..Now we go walking at the mall..We've been to several places just to watch whats going on..the bowling alley, the ice skating rink..We went to a movie (too loud though)..and we've been to a nice little park to watch the ducks swim and to walk on the paths. Last week our daughter took DH out to the airport to see the jets practicing for the Aggie Game flyover. Even though I suppose he doesn't realize it, he's going more and doing more now than in the past several years. At any rate, I can sell the mobile home when its not needed. A college town makes a good market for them every semester. Take care, everyone..Sept. is nearly done.
A long time ago, back in a past life, I was in the Bahamas and was told that if a tourist was stung by a jelly fish, the "natives" would take the "patient" into the woods and then urinate on the sting! Many a woman, it was said, thought something much worse was about to happen!! Mind you we were all drinking rum as this story was retold :o) So in an emergency, have someone pee on your sting ray boo boo, lol