Got the results of Charlie's CT scan day before yesterday. He has a bladder full of kidney stones and in all probability kidney cancer. Spoke at length with the doctor yesterday and we agreed that due to his condition, there will be no treatment. Since there will be no treatment, there is no need for any further testing. Of course, without testing they can not determine the type of cancer or the stage that it is in. Just another hurdle in this journey. Many people at work looked at me like I was crazy when I mentioned that there would be no treatment. Why on earth would they think that I would put him through surgery, chemo and goodness knows what else. Just so he can sit there in that wheel chair for an extra year or two. I don't think so.
so sorry edis. thats terrible news. maybe if you havent already called hospice they will see to it hes comfortable thru his ordeal with this. pain and pallative care will help him so much. passing any stones is extremely painful at any rate and he will need major pain meds which hospice can provide. hugs. divvi
I am sorry to hear the news, but I think you have made the right decision. I have a friend whose husband was diagnosed with lung cancer, and they both decided to give chemo a try. He had ONE treatment, and it almost killed him, as well as making the AD much worse. When he recovered from the chemo, he was kept comfortable - no pain - and he was able to enjoy the company of his friends almost to the end.
Don't pay any attention the people at work. They do not walk in your shoes.
I am so sorry to hear this ((Edis)) It is so hard, my heart goes out to you. As much as I love Lynn, I would not put him through cancer treatment either ((HUGE hugs)) I agree with Divvi, I think Hospice would help your dear Charlie (and you!) a great deal right now ♥
I join the others with sympathy, empathy and concern for you and your DH. I completely understand your position.My DH just had ultrasounds of his legs and I know that the circulatioin in the lower legs and feet is not good...and if the doctors suggest angiograms or stents there will have to be a serious discussion inasmuch as DH is still in a place where he would want a say. I feel the risks would out weigh any benefit in terms of making the AD worse.
Don't give another thought to what the others say...they do not know what you have to contend with on a day to day basis. Additionally, it is human nature to want to do all we can to preserve life as long as we can. But what these people do not understand is that the quality of life for one with advanced AD only delays what cannot be changed.
I would definitely decide for no treatment.Why put them thru that when they have no future hope of beating the AZ.Keep him comfortable and pain free, tell him it's OK to go,you'll ,join him later.
Dear EHamilton: DianeV started a discussion on this same subject last week under the title 'Bad Test Results' and I posted my comments there since I am facing the same situation that both of you are. However, a new wrinkle has developed since last week. (There are always new wrinkles, arent' they?) My children are in agreement with me inre no chemo. No cancer treatment period. However, they are wanting me to have the Onc do scans and tests so we will know how it is spreading. The dr says that there is no need to do this is we aren't going to treat it. I see her point, but, I see our children's point also. In fact, I kinda would like to know also. But, WHY?
Depending on the type of tests, the only reason to go forward would be for information for the survivors if it is something that could be genetic for example or to plan for palliative care. But if it were to be invasive I would say no.
dean---if non-invasive tests to identify the progression would facilitate her comfort care, that would , I think be a reason to do them. Especially if, when her abiity to communicate discomfort (degree/location) is or becomes impaired. If just to satisfy curiousity, no. IMHO.
Thank you for all of your kind words. Dean, the doctor and I did agree that there will be no biopsy or other painful tests. She did suggest that we do another CT scan in 4 to 6 months to hopefully show how fast the disease is progressing as it might be helpful in deciding how much pain medicine might be needed since he can not tell us where or how much he hurts. My niece is a hospice aide and I will call them. Just not right now. He loves the aides at the nursing home and he loves them. They are doing a wonderful job with him right now. When the time comes that they can not give him the one on one attention he will need, I will call hospice.
I think that we all have to make choices that no one else can understand. Even some of my friends that have taken care of their mothers or fathers would not even make the same decisions. Joang is right, don't pay any attention to them, they are not walking in your shoes. I also agree that hospice is a good idea. I am finding out that hospice does a lot more than I thought they did. They aren't necessarily just for a few weeks or a few months before our LO passes away.