I need your input on how to get Eddie, my husband into the shower. He does not hesitate when I mention it is time for a bath or shower but my problem is getting him physically into the tub. We have taken down the shower doors, installed a hand held shower sprayer, have a shower seat but the problem is getting his legs lifted over the tub edge. I have a new shower seat that goes into the tub and extends over the edge of the tub. In theory you should be able to just slide your butt across the seat into the tub but it does not work that way for Eddie. Our tub is not as high as a regular built in tub. But it is a problem for him. Any suggestions??
Hi Sally-good to see you posting. I have seen many ads for walk-in tubs. Only problem is that I'm sure they are very expensive and your bathroom might not accomodate it.
Hi, right back to you my friend, I know about the walk-in tubs but we live in a single width mobile home. Right now the large shower chair that sits in the tub and on the floor is right smack dab against the toilet seat. If I could think of something that is safely slippery for him to sit on I would just slide him myself on the chair and then turn his feet into the tub but I have a mental block. I hate to do anything that would make him not be cooperative when it comes to bathing time. The most wonderful thing in the world is the hand held shower. That make everything really easier, now if I can figure out how to get him safely and quickly into the shower I will be a happy camper.
Sally, it sounds as if your shower is just a shower head in the tub (now that the shower doors are removed). Could you replace the tub with a walk-in shower?
Sally, I have just borrowed one of those shower stools like you have. I thought the seat would actually move from the outside tub to the inside tub, but it does not slide at all. I am also trying to think of what he could sit on that would slide across easily. Would a towel slide?? Maybe some slippery fabric with a towel sewed on top? I think about sail cloth from a sailboat. (We have sailed for many years, but have sold all the sails now). Lets keep thinking, there must be a way. Nancy
Ladies, there is a Nova swivel CHAIR that you sit them in and then it swivels in the shower or bath. it turns 360degrees for ease. i will be geting on of these for my DH when he cant step into the bath anymore too. you can google Nova swivel chair and there are many companies that sell them, they arent cheap but i think the best way to transfer them safely and it has a real seat with arms so they feel safe...i saw them for about 280doll hope this helps..divvi
Sally, I understand your frustration. I went through the same thing with my husband. I even thought of removing the bath tub and installing a walk in, but I am so glad I did not, for it does no good to even have a walk in when you cannot get them to understand to walk in it. What a waste of money it would have been. As for the swivel bath chair with arms, that would also be a problem for us when I try to wash him, the arms would be in the way. The hand held shower is a MUST. I ordered my swivel chair from Active Forever for $264.00 and it has been worth a million. Don't know what in the world I would have done without it.
Look it up on the internet, under Activeforever. The phone number is 1-800-377-8033. It is just like the chair you now have, sits inside and part outside the tub, only difference is that it swivels and slides.
Jane, your chair trumps the other one for sure, sliding benefits is best not just rotation...good job, i will save this website as well for future use. thanks, divvi
Jane, You are marvelous. That web site is marvelous. The item that I'm going to order is the "Airlift Bedside Commode" that will ease the person down onto the commode. My DH has such a problem sitting down on the the toilet, even the higher toilet. Have you used or seen this product? The price is right - about $95 + ship. Thanks. Nancy
Nansea, how about the slide and swivel chair, are you getting that at all? It saved our life. No worry about sliding them in, it glides so easy even with them sitting on it. If it needs lubricating I just spray a little of the WD-40 and I can glide it with one hand while my husband is sitting on it.
I would be afraid to try to slide them with a towel or something like that, you might start sliding and it not stop and then they would get hurt. This chair also comes with a little belt that I only use when I wash his hair, he thinks he is strapped in and does not try to move. I really don't have it strapped hardly at all it is just that he feels like it is.
Order the Chair, no one will be sorry. Just make sure the size will fit your bathroom. I would say it is about the same size as any of those chairs that sit inside and out.
Sally, you mention you live in a mobile home, so I wonder if you are in a Park? I myself have been wondering what you do when your spouse needs help in a bathroom when you are out and about- do you take them in the mens or womens? But, getting back to the shower - we are camping for a week where we have electric only, so we have to conserve water. I decided to use the shower - 50 cents for three minutes and when I saw how easy it was I got my DH to use the mens shower. There are hardly any campers here, so I just opened the door so I could see if a man came in and got the quarters in for him. The handicapped has a seat here - and it might be something you would have if you are in a Park. My DH would never let three minutes of water run over him, but he stayed in there until it turned off so I'm sure he is much cleaner than usual. Just a thought, since I know most Parks have shower facilities and they might be easier to use than the smaller tubs/showers in our home/rig.
frand, I also ran into that problem back a lifetime ago when we could get out and about. I just made sure no one was in the Womens bath room. Had a clerk stand outside the bathroom door, to be sure no other ladies entered so they could tell them we were in it. It seemed to work. Was akward but it did work.
That was a real problem, he was not incontinent so therefore he had to go. I also had problems when I would try clothes on him. I took him into the Ladies, and the clerks stood watch.
They should have an area for people like us, they say there are so many of us but who would know it when you try to find things like that.
Fran, I also when I tried clothes on him, I would look inside and if no one was there I would slip him in quickly into a little stall, then I would make sure the coast was clear when I took him out. How horrible is that???
I would also take my husband to the stalls in the women's dressing room and I too would look to make sure no one was in there, but, as the AD progressed, he would no longer want to stay in the little stalls. There were times he would try to open the door and just walk out. After that started, when I wanted to buy him something, I would just pick it out and get the size I thought he would wear. I would take the items home, get him to try them on at home (worked much better that way), if they did not fit, I would just take them back. The Dept. Store I shop at, most of the personnel know what the circumstances are, so, they are really nice about helping me out. Wal-Mart is also very understanding about this situation. My DH is now in a NH, so, I buy things and take them to the NH and try them on him. The CNA's help me out on this. I hate to run things back to the store, but, it was a lot easier than trying to get him undressed and at the same time trying to keep him in the dressing room.
Also, when I was my husband's 24/7 Care Giver, there were many times I had to take him into the women's restroom as I had no choice. Usually someone was with us and would just stand outside the door and explain what was going on to the ladies that came up. Everyone for the most part was very understanding. Most of the places we went to had Family Restrooms, so, that worked out a lot better for us. With Alzheimers, I found out that I had to just do what I needed to do at the moment and as we all know there are many challenges. Nothing with this disease is easy. Since my DH is alot farther along than most of the spouses on this post, I know and can feel what everyone is going through as I have gone through most of this over the past 7 or so years. I do not have alot of the challenges to overcome anymore, but, I am still his Care Giver, but in a different way. He is still doing really well, despite the AD. We have now entered a different stage and things now have gotten a little easier for me as he is in a wonderful Care Facility and is getting the best of care. My stress level has gone down tremendously since one year ago when I had to make the very difficult decision to place my wonderful husband. I love and miss him terribly, but, I had to make the decision to let him go and let someone else take over the 24/7 care. Due to my health starting to fail, I had no choice. I knew I had to be here for him !!!
Kay Kay, I did the same thing as you did with the buying things and trying them on him at home as the disease progressed. We are now 8 years into this disease, stage 7, at home with Hospice. I marvel at how well they continue to do although the disease has progressed so much. I know how difficult the placement process had to be for you. I am having a difficult time even trying to decide to let Hospice take my husband for the 5 day respite that I am allowed. I have not done this yet but know that I need to. My stress level is getting high.
As I type this I look into the bedroom, see him lying there so quietly and peaceful and worry that if I take him to respite for me then he would not be left alone and would be confused. I know that is what you went through and I am sorry you had to place. If this goes on much longer I know I will also have to do the same thing and it is breaking my heart into.
You mention that your husband is now in a different stage, what stage is he in, would you share the care that is now required for him???? Just trying to think out into the future as to what I might be facing.
Jane, I would love to share with you what stage and the care he receives. He is now in Stage 7. He does not talk very much anymore, he needs to be fed, wears diapers, cannot walk any longer and is totally dependent. He also has to be lifted in and out of bed and his wheelchair with a Hoyer (2 person transfer, as he is still strong in his legs, but, just cannot walk). We had months of therapy, but, did not work.
He is bathed 3 times a week, and his teeth are brushed and he is shaved daily. They also keep his toenails cut regularly, but, I like to manicure his fingernails, so, I do that part. The care he receives is really good. They also have started to puree his food and he is eating a whole lot better. What happened was that he was chewing too long on each bite and then not wanting to finish his meals. The nurses seem to be right on top of all those issues.
The NH he is in believes in getting the resident up for all 3 meals, unless the person with the DPOA states otherwise. They get them up for each meal and then they put them back to bed for naps during the day. After the evening meal, they try to keep them up until about 8 PM, so they can watch the big screen TV, etc. I usually take my DH out for an evening walk when the sun sets. They have a staff of 2 doctors that come by and check on the residents, meet with the love ones family, etc. In fact, we have a young doctor that is working with me right now slowly taking my DH off of some of his meds. It is working out great. The doctor and I will just both watch him and if there is a med that he should not be taken off of, we will slowly put him back on it. The staff believes that the residents should have some interaction with others in the home and also with the Staff. But, at the same time, if you feel your love one does not want to be up for every meal, etc., then you just talk to the NH and they will work with you on your wishes. We will be taking some of the men to the Corpus Christi Hooks Baseball Game on June 26th. My DH has always loved baseball, but, he might not even know what is it now, but, I am going to go with them and just get him outside. We took about 15 residents fishing last month, they had a blast. Did not catch much, but, had fun. The next time we take them fishing in the fall, we are going to all have picnic. The women have Manicure Days and also they get some special days . We will have a special Father's Day Celebration on Friday with a DJ and we are also having a Kite Flying, bubble blowing and Ice Cream Social on 6/24. I stay very involved with his care, just like I did when I was the 24/7 Care Giver. The only difference is that now I had to step back and give up that Care Giving 24/7. I see my wonderful husband everyday and we go outside in the evenings and watch the sun set. I take him for strolls in his wheelchair, etc. I miss him terribly, but, I know that I could no longer keep going as my health was starting to deteriorate and I knew I have to be here for him !!!!!! Finally I realized that no matter if I had him at home, or in the NH, I would still be 100% involved in the type of care he is receiving. That will never change.
I am very involved with my DH's care. I cut his hair for him and I also brush his teeth some when I feel the CNA's are really busy, just to help them out. I feed him at least one meal a day. Any decision is hard to make during this AD process, but, I feel I made the best decision for both of us. He is my Prince and I will be there for him, as I am his voice and his advocate as he can no longer make decisions or speak !!!!
Kay Kay, My husband is also in stage 7, cannot say even one word.(I think that is the heartbreaking part of this for me) Yet he is still able to walk but only walks from one room in the house to the other as I lead and prompt. Other times he never offers to even get up off the sofa or chair. I bought him a reclinning lift chair and he will not sit in it. Will not sit in a wheel chair for me to stroll him. Pushes his feet to the ground and will not let me move it.
I have not yet had to deal with the lift as I am still able to ambulate him to the room I need him in, however I know this will be next. Can you tell me, can the lift be used by one person only or will I have to hire in home help for that?? I do my husbands baths every other day, he is in diapers, and I have to cut his hair, brush his teeth, dress him, feed him and all the things that go with that. In other words he does nothing and can do nothing for himself except transport himself at this time.
I do so dread the time when he is no longer ambulatory and am afraid at that point I will also have no choice but to place. I will also be just like you, there for him all the time. Thank you for shareing.
Jane, the lift can be used by a one person transfer. It is just that the NH knows how strong my husbands legs can be when he puts them straight down and tries to lift himself out of the lift, so, they feel they need two people. My husbands legs are still pretty strong, but, he has lost his ability to stand or walk. As we all know the communication between the brain and the body is no longer there. My DH is still in very good physical shape, it is just the progression that goes with Alzheimers that has taken a toll on him. His Blood Pressure and Heart rate are lower than mine. He is not a Diabetic. He eats really well, but, his brain just no longer communicates like it should. In fact, my DH looks almost like he did before the Alzheimers, but, he is just unable to do anything for himself any longer. This just breaks my heart. He is 13 years older than I am and had always kept himself in good physical shape. He ran 5 or so miles a day. He always said I want to be here when we both get older to enjoy our time together. So, now I worry that since his body is in such good shape, that he might have to endure the last stages of the disease. This is just heart wrenching to me.
My prayers are with you as I know how difficult this can be when you are the 24/7 Care Giver.
Kaykay, Your husband sounds almost exactly like mine. Heart and blood pressure fine A-1 OK. Absolutely nothing physically wrong with him. The Hospice Nurse says that if she walked in and saw him she would not even know he is the patient he still looks the same as always did. The Nurse told me that oddly enough most Alzheimer patients are this way. Most of them have A-1 physical health.
I am just like you, I worry that he will live this out to the end stage because of his wonderful physical condition. Any other time in life that would be a wonderful report but not with this disease. Most people would not believe it when you say you just wait for something physical to happen because the end stage of this disease will be so brutal for them.
Take care and thank you for shareing this with me. That gives me hopes that maybe I will be able to operate the lift when the time comes. I have been worried about that for a long time now. Just did not know how it works. I sometimes just wish I had it now he is so hard to get to go from one from to the other, I am also ready for him to have the wheel chair so I can get him around better but of course he is not ready for that yet so I sure don't want to speed up that process.
My DH walks quite well too but i do use the foldup wheelchair for dr appt and going anywhere where lots of walking is involved. its easier to control him and keeps him happy with his toys on board-hes more comfortable in it than hospital chairs and in lab procedures they just put a pillow under his arm and let him sit in it which is much easier forhim. but its actually easier on me as its a super lite weight one and easy to maneuver. divvi
divvi, Tell me your secret. I also have the foldup wheelchair 9 lbs in weight easier for me but my problem is that my husband will not keep his foot on the foot rest. I asked at Medical Supply for some type of equipment that would help me keep his feet in place. They offered nothing in that respect. I would put his feet back on and off again they came. He would push his feet to the pavement or floor and not let me roll the chair. We used it about 4 times and I finally gave up. I would give anything if someone would come up with something to help me with this. My life would be so much easier. I could still at least wheel him into an eye appointment.
Jane, I'm sure that others will have better solutions than mine, but how about small luggage straps to strap his shoes to the pedals, sort of like when we wore skates (with a skate key, that fit our regular shoes)? That way his feet wouldn't slip off.
Jane, in the beginning my DH did the same thing draggging his feet so it wouldnt roll. sabotaged any effort for the dang thing to move. i use the strap belt over his stomach to keep him in place then hand him various 'special ' treats to eat while hes riding. i would say using it to reinforce that riding means goodies? fav candies, granola bar anything to distract from the chair. i have to admit i was adamant about him staying it it no ifs/buts as he was too slow walking when he didnt want to go somewhere and i'd lose patience. i used some same colored velco small straps off a peice of luggage and cut them to put around ankles not tight but he couldnt move his feet off. i didnt have to use them much as he soon realized his goodies were coming and rides super well now with nothing and stays put and seems to feel very comfy in it while in new places. i dont see any negative to doing this in the begiinning its the same as strapping him in with the belt. gosh i cant tell you how much easier it is now to even take a stroll thru the malls with him in it and just people watch. i park at one of the benches and we eat icecream and sit. plus if i see something in a store, it was almost impossible to go in before with him walking i was always pulling chasing him back. now he sits and i make sur he has a play cell phone or some new cool gadget he likes to entertain him..its much like dealing the same issues as a 2yr old if you know what i mean. try again, you will find a way! all else tell him he cant go with you if he doesnt cooperate -mine understood that too and just sits down its so great now. good luck! divvi -dont give up. you will love the results.
Mary, I tried the type strap that you suggested in the very beginning and the foot would not stay put, he pulled loose.
Divi, as far as telling him he could not go with me mine could care less, he plain would not want to go and still doesn't. He would sit here from now on and never go anywhere. I understand what you are saying about small straps of a piece of luggage to put around the ankels but what do you hook it to after you get it around the ankles, the bar closest to him or what?????????????????? As far as goodies or toys, my husband never had an interest in one thing that you would hand him,he would and will just sit and partially hold it until it falls from his hand. I have never in all my life seen anything like him. I can't enjoy one thing unless I call someone to come and sit with him. It would be so nice to be able just to wheel him into a building.
yes i wrapped his ankles fairly rigid and then velcroed it all around the small bar that holds the foot pads on the wheelchair. my chair has the type of foot pads that rotate up or down so i had no problem-gosh Jane, you really do need him in a wheelchair when out, sounds like it would be a huge feat to take him anywhere without him seated. maybe try working on it in the house, i put mine in too at first a few minutes/day and wheeled him around the house to getused to it. he didnt want to sit in the black chair at first either, just like the commode seat! :) a colored cloth over the seat helped. what is it with black color and AD?? maybe they cant see it? i also put sunglasses on him and it made it easier to doze off while in the chair:) we become quite inventive when necessity strikes.. i hope you find a way it would help you alot i know. just for the dr appt is worth it to have him wheeled and seated. good luck.
Just another thought about the color black. I've been told that if you put a black rug in front of outside doors that they won't step on the rug. Doesn't work with my husband at this point in time, although the rug is just dark and not actually black. I've also read that if you have a dark colored rug in the bathroom, you need to replace it because they won't cross that rug to get to the toilet or bath. Again, I don't have a clue as to whether this is true or not because it doesn't seem to bother my husband right now.
It makes sense that if they are at that stage they won't sit in a dark colored chair.
its true, my husband wont step on a dark rug and to be safe i have to get them out of his way. he tries to step OVER anything like that and nearly fell in the process. i think the dark color has something to do with depth perception or such or just may look like a hole in the floor so they are scared of it. it may work for some putting the dark rug out but in our case he nearly tripped trying to avoid it. bolting the door is working for us.
divvi is right -- the ADLO has to have some degree of visual agnosia for dark rugs to work. If their minds are still processing visual signals correctly, dark colors don't bother them.
ok divvi, I had not even thought about the chair being black in color. You are correct, it is for that reason that I take him absolutely no where if I have to get him out of the car. The only thing I can do is a drive through and what can you do just driving through except for fast food. This has absolutely destroyed my life. I feel like I am living inside a tomb with a dead person. How awful is that to say?
I had tried the velcro around the foot and the foot pedal but not the ankle. I will do as you say and see what happens.
My husband didn't see the glass or bottle opener I put out right next to his bottle of beer last night. He actually ignored the glass that was there and got another one and was looking for a bottle opener when I handed him the one I had put out. A day or so ago he didn't see a bottle HE put next to his plate.
I consider this a new symptom and I've put it into my log. It literally is new in the last month.
Jane, next time hospice is there tell them of your difficulties with the wheelchair? they can work with him getting him used to riding! they may have more ideas on how to accomplish it.divvi
On the luggage straps, where can you buy just the straps??? You can sure tell I have not been out and about much in the last few years. Business is all I know, you have heard the old saying, not much street smarts. Thats me in a nut shell.
just try googling velcro straps online. i got some hardware places that sell them in any length.inexpensive. maybe call a hardware or lowes or somthing in your area?
Oh well I know about velcro straps, I already have them. I just wondered about luggage straps?? No problem I will just use the velcro, I'm dumb but not that dumb HA HA
Seems like you could also call a physically therapy type place...they have all sorts of ways to keep Cerebral Palsy patients in the wheelchair when their muscles won't go that way.