Something NEW that happened yesterday and it was a rude awakening for me. I don't recall anyone commenting on this before. My dh was going to take a nap and I told him I was going to my daughters house which is 8 miles away and I would be back within the hour. I have done this numerous times. I rarely go out alone and if I do I am back within the hour. BUT, when he woke up I guess he had forgotten where I went and got real upset. He called me on his cell phone and was yelling.........WHERE ARE YOU????? WHERE ARE YOU???? I told him where I was and that I would be home in less then 15 mins. I rarely leave him alone, but If I ever do again I am going to leave a large message on the counter to let him know where I have gone. I never thought about him forgetting where I said I was going....when you stop to think about it, if they can't remember much how are they going to remember where you said you were going.
Sounds like he's reached the point where you can't leave him alone. He may not remember about the note either. One time I let my husband sleep while I went to work. I only work until 1:30 in our mobile home park. He woke up and didn't remember. He was outside in his underwear, looking for me. A neighbor came to work and got me.That was my wake-up call. I started him in day=care while I worked.
I agree with Carolyn - you can't leave him alone anymore. I marvel at how many people leave their spouses alone; my DH is quite functional but I have not been able to leave him unsupervised and alone since he got lost driving 2 years ago. If they can't remember simple things they can no longer be left alone in my opinion.
You gals are so right. Sometimes I wonder how dense we can be (meaning myself) like I must be a slow learner. It is just so strange that a simple thing like going to our daughters for just a little while could cause such panic in him. I felt so sorry for him and I could hear the panic in his voice. I will never do that again.
JudithKB, I leave mine alone in the mornings only - his best time of the day for an hour or so. I go into work 3 blocks away 2-3 days a week for an hour or 1-1/2 hours, but I always call him 2-3 times while I'm gone. He knows how to call me and he does sometimes, but at times he can't remember where I am, so I just call him about every 15 min. I rarely leave him alone in the afternoons and, of course,never at night.
Judith, don't beat yourself up. There is a first time for everything in our journey & that was yours. My DH was getting increasingly nervous when I would go to work (& I only work one day a week) & finally one day he went across the street to our daughter's house (thank the Lord she lives across the street) & he was upset because he didn't know where I went so he stayed by her house until I got home & then he was angry at me for leaving him. So now when I go to work he goes to one of my daughters houses (I have 2 daughters in the area.) He doesn't like me going to work, but we need the money & I need to get away.
I took pictures of everywhere I go, including inside our retirement facility (library, dining room, auditorium, mailroom, swimming pool, etc.). Also pictures of the mall, grocery store, etc. etc. Then I printed the pictures out and mounted them on large pieces of cardboard. Underneath each picture I wrote what the picture represented. I then attached a piece of string to each one so I can hang it up on the inside of the front door. I also put my cell phone number on the inside of the door. I did this about a year ago, when I returned home from lunch with a friend and found the sheriff's police at the front desk. He'd reported me missing.!
The sad fact is, once the disease has progressed to the point where they are upset/scared of being left alone, it is the same as leaving a small child on their own--unacceptable.