Do you recognize these symptoms of stress: " a sense of irritation, tension, nervousness, anxiety, fear or sleeping problems lasting a month or more due to work, health, family or other problems"?
According to research which followed 1415 women for 35 years (ages 38-60 at the beginning of the study), which was published in the prestigious scientific journal Brain, stress can increase your chances of developing dementia.
Women in the study who had repeated bouts of stress in middle age had a risk of dementia that was about 65% higher than those who did not. Women who reported stress during each interview during the study had a doubled chance of developing dementia.
Since I thought their definition of stress pretty much covered the gamut of emotions felt by caregivers (except for grief, isolation, and depression), I thought it gave a pretty good clue as to why caregivers might develop dementia at a higher rate than the general population.
It is a very scary thought to me, this idea that caregivers could be at higher risk of developing dementia. We are not going to have a loving spouse on hand to care for us if this does happen.
Yes. The non-technical term is CD or Caregiver dementia. It can also lead to physical medical problems. FYI - a few yrs old stats but likely still accurate:
43% of CG's for AD fall into clinical depression that can linger for yrs, even after the LO dies
15% of AD CG's will die before their peers and many will die before their LO
Elderly CG's with chronic illness themselves have a 63% higher mortality than non-caregiver contemporaries
The CG spouse of AD suffers from depression 3 times that rate of others in their age group
So I tell CG's to take care of themselves, get respite. I know that many will tell me to go take a hike. It's not that easy. So I'm a nag, I didn't take care of myself, I understand, but I say it anyway.
Get respite....That's what I did a couple of weeks ago. A lot of good it did me. It was as if I never went away. When I returned from my short respite everything was worse than it was before. Going away made him so upset that all the relaxation I had for those few days went away in a matter of a few minutes. I suffered for those few days of respite for more than a week. I have some understanding now why he was so upset. I upset his world. I upset the rhythm of his life. I'm his lifeline. I won't be going away anywhere for quite a while.
I had almost 4 hrs. of respite twice recently, when he tried out two different daycare facilities. I can't describe how free I felt. But he was bored, hated it and refuses to go back to either place. So now I'm sadder than before, after having a taste of that few hours of feeling totally free, no interruptions, no crappy stuff at all.
Bev and PrisR---don't give up on respite. Break them in to it. This is why I repeat often--get some help in. Start with a couple hours once or twice a week. Try starting with "helping you" out with household chores. Get your LO used to other people around, helping. Shift into having the helper help the LO a little at a time. Then start making the excuse of running an errand while the helper is there. Expand on that. We become our LO's living security blanket. For our own health and well being we have to limit that role. For our LO's benefit we must do this as a preparation for the unforeseen. The LO who is used to this can handle us being gone for a Dr. Appointment, for a few hours respite, or whatever else might come up. Day Care is another option if your LO can and is willing to attend.
Keep in mind, using household help is NOT an unnecessary thing. With all we must do that no one else can, for our LOs and our households, our time should not be bogged down in laundry, dishes, mopping, etc. Anmyone can do those.
I reckon that the time away for respite does more good for the caretaker than it does harm to the spouse. It's not perfect: yes, you have to catch up; yes, you really need more time away, but I believe that you do recharge your batteries, even a little bit.
This all scares the bloody hell out of me. I hate to take Rx medications, try to use bio-feedback techniques to combat stress and pain issues, psychotherapy, try every other route I can to quell my anxiety...even though I'm now a widow. It doesn't stop. Family issues continue, financial worries, regrets, starting over. Scarey. I just want someone to shoot me if I show up with symptoms one day.
I went to Monhegan for most of last week, leaving Andrew (CNA) and Jeannette (daughter) in charge. Great for me except that I screwed my leg up again. When I came home L. said, how are you? He hadn't recognized at all that I had been gone. I am frankly encouraging him to bond more with Andrew than with me. The equivalent of putting him in a facility, but cheaper. He's pretty much bedridden but mostly happy and enjoying the TV he watches. Tonite he was playing toss with Andrew with pillows, laughing happily.
carosi, your advice is always so right on. You've said something like this to me once before. I know I should get someone in, I've just been putting it off, always fearing he'd get mad. I'm always worried about him getting mad. Getting someone in to help with the housework is the first step I know I should try. I have two places in mind where I can get help, and they call me every couple of months to ask if I want their help. I have continuously told them "He's been doing fine." But now, he isn't. He's entered the next stage.