Mimi-sometimes when a caregiver becomes overwhelmed with grief, exhaustion and despair they just don't feel like taking about it. Hopefully they peek in and know we care about them.
Yep I am here....Summer is hot, and humid, and I am too busy and too tired to type...yes my fingers hurt. My dw can no longer stay alone, so my son comes over daily so I can get to work. My mom just went to the ER and I think she had a mild heart attack..she is staying overnight for observation and to have tests done...she is 88, and I doubt she will want any kind of surgery or complicated procedures... My sense of humor has disappeared, and my 3 ring circus is more active than usual. I hate to post bad news, and I seem to have very little spare time to do anything for myself.... I did manage to go rollerblading with my daughter on Thursday morning, and we went almost 5 miles.....Yes it was fun, but I think it is better to do it when the temperature is not 95 degrees...besides, both ankle belts broke on my skates, and I had to duct tape them to my feet...yes I did look like a redneck rollerblader....four beer bottles taped to each foot..... I still manage to read all the posts, but hopefully I will post more when summer is over---for Florida, summer ends when tourist season starts...
Hi, Phranque, I missed your post the other day..so I am so glad you are ok even if overworked, tired and just funked out. I have had a bad couple of days too and yesterday took a piece of cardboard out an nearly beat the big rubber trash can nearly to death again. Nothing DH did, it was the bil who opened his big mouth and blabbed and ruined a surprise for DH. It is good to know that when one of us goes missing for a few days that we are missed and the others are concerned and go looking for us..we know then for sure we aren't alone. There is consolation knowing the members of Joan's Club are here for one another when so many friends and family, for whatever reasons, aren't.
All the best phranque. Just because you've got your sense of humor off to conserve energy doesn't mean you can't just drop a word here and there when you feel like it.
Meantime, I got your back.
Now the intro goes into the setup. Right? Where's the setup? It was here somewhere. And then the zinger. Zinger. I didn't see them give me a...I'll get back to you.
Phranque, I haven't been here very long, but I gather you are the source of much humor for us. Well I understand when the humor gets put on hold, so when that happens PLEASE share your negative feelings with us....who better to share with then your friends here who will nod their heads & say, "YES, been there done that, I know how he feels!" I am so glad that a friend of mine told me about Joan's website. It has been a source of comfort for me. Thanks to all of you! Hugs, Elaine
Speaking of missing people. Does anyone know what happened to Kitty or does anyone hear from her. She was much younger then many of us but I use to love reading her posts. The last I read anything about her she was moving into an apt. and divorcing her husband.
Bluedaze, you didn't HAVE to go into so much detail!!!! LOL
We all have become so close over the last three years, and Joan's place is our home away from home....where our family is. And when we don't hear from someone, we worry...it is the nature of us....we are caregivers....
Thank you, phranque for checking in...
Bama, I'll root for the Tide when they aren't playing my Razorbacks! <grin>
Phranque...we do miss you when you're not around. About the redneck roller blading....aluminum cans of 'Bud work better than the bottles (when we can find some paved ground around here). Then, when we get hot and want to cool off, we throw a tarp into the back of my truck and fill it with water......or climb into the stock tank (the creek is too far down the hill). "You might be a Redneck if....."
Just checking in here too and mighty glad to know Phranque aand all are 'rolling' right along. Duct tape and all! Things are better here but so different. I've never rollerbladed or ice skated but the image of a wobbly beerbottled ducttaped redneck bobbling along seems about right. Hugs to all
Just to let you know that my daughter and friends did put a tarp in the back of a truck (at the friends house) and make a redneck pool twice this summer. Must have been a sight for the neighbors as we live in a subdivision. But when your 14 anything is possible!
Frank has been posting pictures on Facebook of the redecorating he is doing. Yesterday it was bedroom furniture with a flat screen TV. Today he posted his soon to be new counter tops. Evidently he is taking steps to move forward which is good to hear.
I saw my name on the marquee and I am just checking in....I am still enjoying the after effects of early onset alzheimer's. I thought the roller coaster ride on the alzheimer express was fun, but this is almost too much fun.....and the stop button does not work.....
Phranque, that roller coaster left the station and you're no longer having to ride along with the others. Give yourself time to reflect, to cry and then make a plan for your next chapter. What worked best for me was to get out of my house and I began to volunteer wherever I was needed. It's hard to stop being a caregiver in a heartbeat, and in a way, volunteering was a way to gradually settle back down to earth. It took my mind off of all I felt I had lost and I was able to find myself again. The myself that I thought had been lost altogether through the years of Alzheimer's caregiving. Gradually, I found that I was beginning to enjoy my homelife again. I made new friends who only knew ME, and not the US I used to be. Those dear (old) friends could not be with me without thinking of my late husband and every meet-up was guaranteed to involve long conversations about the past. I reached out to the new friends (and kept the old, of course) - and very slowly, life has evolved into something totally new and wonderful. Nothing like it was before, but it is good. It didn't happen overnight...it took almost a year before I stopped saying "We did this or WE went there.." Audrey has been gone only one month. Give yourself time. It WILL get better, I can promise you that. Love, N.
"Individual results may vary" I thought that was odd. I was going to have my people call them. What good is a brochure when you throw that in? But then the pushing started and my secure little world broke and out I popped a fat little fried tomato. Right away the terrible mistake I'd made became apparent. One of them picked me up and started hitting and another took a sharp object and cut me off from my lifeline. They all beamed as I writhed in pain. I wanted to pick up the nearest thing and begin hitting the sadist back; but, the appendages clearly attached to me were broken because they didn't do what I demanded and instead flailed around like someone urgently waving a taxi.
Nothing much has changed. I get by. I found out later I have another appendage and we quite get along. Not like the other four which took me years to train this one was always ready. But enough about me. Like everybody else I went through boot camp which was "stop doing that", "pay attention", "do better", "get higher marks", "stop slouching", "get up", and so on ad nauseum. Obviously the people around me had issues they needed to work out. Actually in our house it wasn't so much boot camp as slap camp:
Who broke the vase? (slap) What's that on your face? (slap) Put that in it's place! (slap) Why are you so dazed? (slap slap)
What a fine young man relatives said. Come closer and say that. I know how to work these things now. Slap slap.
Of course you can't do that. Not to anybody much older than you or anybody much younger than you unless you get a license and can prove ownership.
After that it's get a job or starve and five minutes later you're retired, old, and shrivelling up like an old potato. What's left of you gets to deal with the really tough stuff with a lot less money, reduced motor skills, and long term prospects that could charitably be described as 'bleak'.
In that landscape what you want to be doing is keeping your chin up and working towards a sunny disposition in the same way salmon hurl themselves upstream to their death. In both cases it's what feels right. Pursuing a philosophy while life puts the boots to your head.
I'm resigned to it just like my grandfather who passed peacefully away suddenly while his passengers screamed hysterically trying to stop the car. Hey, good luck.
Anyways, I know you're busy. I just want to point out I'm on topic. Being phranque.