Today I had a conversation that really took me by surprise. A little background--we live on a common driveway with 4 other houses. There's a blind spot where vehicles coming in either direction can't see each other, consequently, there could be a head-on collision. For a while, I've been thinking that we should put up one of those round reflector mirrors, as a safety precaution. Yesterday, one of the other neighbors and I had a close call, and so today, I called her and left a message about the mirror (which would have to be on her property to be effective). She called me back--hadn't listened to the message--and showed no interest in doing it. Her comment was "well, no accidents have happened yet". I said since I have a lot on my plate, I was hoping that as a first step, either she or her husband would at least call a third neighbor and ask him to trim some of his brush to allow for more visibility. She is a RN, knows that my husband has AD, and she works at the ALF where my father lives and knows he has VaD. Now here's the surprising part--her excuse for not doing anything to help with this was "well, everyone has a lot of stuff going on". It showed me that even she, a nurse who works at an ALF, has no idea what is involved in caring for a spouse with AD. I sincerely doubt that the "stuff" she has going on is as all-encompassing as dementia caregiving, but her comments were so ridiculous it wasn't even worth pointing that out. I wasn't going to let her turn the conversation into a competition about who has a worse situation!
Put up a good sized fisheye mirror set up just for you. In fact buy it and put the installation on your 'help wanted' list. Good luck. Remember what Robert Frost said. "Good fences make good neighbors." He didn't believe that. His neighbor did. But what the heck they're going to be in your face so sometimes you trade off what's best for getting along. That's not my opinion. My opinion is move the monkey. When the monkey is on your back (they are irritating you) move the monkey.
So another way to go is to get a picture of her blown up and place it on your dart board in the rec room. This would have two advantages. One is that you might have a skill for darts (may want to hide them when not in use) and the other is you could save a fortune on therapy that you live near a rotten neighbor (I assume that's what RN stands for ;D).
And that brings up the final plan. While driving through this intersection and past the RN's house always keep your hand firmly on the horn until you are well and safely past. This plan also has several benefits. It gives others fair warning that you are coming through and is so is safer, it reaffirms your opinion that a mirror would be helpful, and it also saves a fortune in therapy.
If I was going to do this which I'm not then I would never ever look at them like I told you so or any attitude whatsoever. I would keep repeating that the close call scared me and pretend I was in a minor tizzy. Practise odd looks in the mirror preferable something 1 part demented, 1 part hearing voices, and 2 parts odd jerky movements whenever you mention your close call which it's impossible to mention often enough.
Finally, when they suggest they should put in a mirror try to talk them out of it.
Wolf meet phranque....You are two of a kind. He hasn't been posting much lately because his hands are full but you will like him. And yes, you both are crazy fun.
I just wrote you on another topic. And to Mimi I think phranque might agree that strenuous and comedy don't work in the same sentence even though developing comedy can be strenuous
I've read numerous things from phranque going through the posts and he is a genuine and gifted writer. I smile at some of my stuff but I laugh out loud when I read phranque.
I'm not being self effacing. That's my opinion. Don is another who has a good funny bone.
But yes, I hope to add to that and just like phranque I have a desire to express in that vein sometimes. A decent laugh never hurt anyone.
Wolf--I knew you were joking, and also appreciate your, phranque's and don's humor. I'm not bringing up the subject again with that neighbor, except to verfiy that it's ok to put the mirror on their property (which I think she implied--if I pay for it and take care of the details). Ironically, I've noticed over the 20 plus years we've lived here that the entire family--husband, wife and kids--literally bolt up the driveway without considering that another vehicle might be coming!