I had a conversation with the owner of the home health agency I've been using last week. She indicated that due to several recent problem situations with other clients, she would not be willing to let her aides take my husband out of our home. He is in the middle stage, starting to have behavior changes at daycare, and I was thinking of gradually switching over to daily in-home help. However, it would be boring for him to sit around every day, and I had hoped that the aide could take him out for errands, to get lunch or a snack, etc. I have had absolutely no problem taking him anywhere, to restaurants, shopping, visiting my Dad, movies, errands, etc. He enjoys and expects to go out every day and has no physical limitations. I'm wondering what others have experienced.
Marilyn, the legal liability for that agency should your husband ONE TIME do anything, say the wrong thing, look cross-wise at someone who took offense, they could get sued, and they aren't willing to do that and I know I wouldn't want that over me either. If he jumped out of the car (as some have done) or have an anxiety attack, he could be hurt.
What we can do with our spouses is one thing, but they run a business. Should they grab the wheel of the car............
I'm not saying that your husband would do those things, I am trying to explain why they won't take the risk. This is why I found things for my husband to do at home. (kits to build; artists supplies so he could draw and water color - he used to love to paint; jigsaw puzzles; etc.) And took him for rides after I got home from work, even if it was to pick up the cleaning and get his medicine. He loved to go. We'd stop and get something on the way home or eat out. He still got his outing but I supplied it. AND I have now 400 DVDs because he got obsessive about watching movies. And we knew the first ones by heart and out of self defense, I bought 2 or 3 a week so I wouldn't go crazy. He still will occasionally seem to pay attention to a few of those movies.
If your photos are not organized and in scrapbooks, maybe he could do that for you.
My husband's aide took him on walks until she thought he wasn't capable of going anymore (and she was right). The agency I got her from allowed the aide to take patients on errands, doctor's appointments, etc. as long as the aide was comfortable doing it.
Find out why that agency won't do what you want them to do. There might be a good reason. The aide might not feel your husband can do the activity. Either way, you need to know.
Mary--I get what you are saying about legal liability, but other agencies do allow their employees to take patients in the middle stage out. Starling--It sounds to me like she has made a policy decision based on recent problems with several other patients. Re grabbing the wheel--it is the same as if we take them out--at a certain point, they need to be in the back seat with a seatbelt. My husband wouldn't like it, but would accept it if he was told it was a State regulation, or something like that.
As far as puzzles, games, art projects--so far, no dice. My husband was never a guy who liked to sit still. Not a big reader, he was a high-energy, never tired, on the go type. He enjoyed work, travel, golf, and socializing. This may change, but I doubt it.
I have quite a bit of energy myself, but I use the time the aide is here to go to exercise class and other places. Many days I do take him out after the aide leaves, but I don't think I could/should keep that pace up 7 days a week. Right now he's in daycare 2 days, so that's an outing for him, but I'm thinking about when the time comes that daycare will no longer work.
Both agencies I used allowed them to use their own car to transport my DH. They could do grocery shopping, Drs appts, go to Mcdonald's..whatever.
One aide who took him out the most, got mileage per month. I wasnt supposed to give cash for gas, but I gave them a checkcard to use for expenses and told them to get some gas with it on occaision. My DH loves to go for rides!
Both agencies has copies of aides car insurance policies and I believe it was the personal policies that would have to cover any issues that arose. None did, Thank God.