Lately, my husband has been rummaging in closets, the attic, the garage. He finds things and then want to 'display' them. I found a Christmas ornament, a crossword puzzle dictionary, several pictures displayed in our living room. I believe these things are new to him. He goes in the garage and says we need to get rid of this stuff. We store things like toilet paper, paper towels, Kleenex, plus his tools and garden supplies there. I fear they may disappear. Does any one else experience this?
My LO has "moved" stuff,hidden,lost whatever ya wanna call it,things that have dissapeared never to be seen again include,car titles,insurance policy's,car keys, house keys,you name an they find it,still looking for the dogs food bowl that magically dissapeared a few months ago when there was snow on the ground,she never left the house that day but the bowl must have,now that I have custody of both ends of the dog I think it only fair that I should have the food bowl also
FOLKS...I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH...FOR YOUR PAPERS, TITLES, DEEDS, JEWELRY ETC GET A SAFE OR SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX.. (not yelling just trying to stress this important point,) My DH wanted his flight logs the other day..I got them out of the safe and have kept an eye on them..he has looked little at them and later today they are going BACK IN THE SAFE. If you have anything sharp, or swords ( us military types have a sword) or K knife or anything like that lock it up. I am thinking that this week I am going to go through the kitchen drawers and thin out all the knives I won't need. Hubby is not messing with things but I think I'll try to get ahead of the game on this. I lock up his meds so he can't get them until I give them to him ( mostly now so he won't mess them up) as later he will forget how many he has taken..he might forget now.
well as far as the meds go my wife would stand right there an take the pills as I gave them to her,only thing was she'd put them in her mouth swallow the water an walk away an spit the pills out,I have no idea how long this went on but the Namenda an Aricept that she was supposed to be taking I found all thru the house,just when ya think your on top of everything ya find out your not even close
I've found that cleaning a closet or seldom used room (and trying valiantly to DECLUTTER) is a good activity on days when dh is at home and getting restless. He will usually find something that intrigues him and may keep him occupied for a while. I use a big cardboard box to put things in that I want to trash, because he will object to anything bing thrown away. Yesterday he found a catalogue from an art auction that we went to years ago. He looked at it for hours and kept pointing out stuff to me. That was great. Then it backfired on me because he decided he wanted to go to this auction NOW (did not understand that the auction was years ago). So finally I gave in, got him in the car, drove to the grocery store and after he got out of the car opened it again pretending I had forgotten something and quickly hid the catalogue under the seat. After getting the groceries he did not miss it and has not mentioned it again. I'm going to start getting out the art books. He might enjoy looking at them.
I may have mentioned this before, but my DH has a VAST collection of DVDs. We store them in several cabinets and shelves. But he loves to "go through them" and take inventory I guess of his collection. He also does it with our VAST collection of books. This isn't a bad thing, in fact it may be a good exercise for his memory--it stimulates some interesting conversations. The only thing, he takes the dvds or books off the shelves, and forgets to put them back or doesn't realize where he got them, and he leaves them in a pile on the floor! Arrgh!
I am brining this up, because my DH has been going through his things in the closet for years now. I guess because of the bad weather it is all he can get to. Was walking the yard picking up one leaf at a time. Putting them in trash or his pockets. But now he is moving my clothes. Every time I go up my jeans, sweaters and things are mixed in his clothes. I ask him not to. I know don't tell me, he doesn't understand. But I have things missing now. I do not have a lot of clothes for them to go missing. It is going to be bad if he tries them on, I am very small. He has started going up at dusk and doing this. He will smush his all up and say he is making too for me. He had always had more clothes than I have. We have a huge walkin closet. I do not need more room. I really am tired of all these things. I am starting him in Trazadone tonight. I have been putting it off.
How can they rant and want a divorce and sell the house one minute and call you honey the next? Wish it would go away.
I remember DH bringing items in from our shed. It was like everything was new to him. Also started putting on my cloths. I ended up taking my clothes out of our bedroom closet and moving them to the sewing room closet. As time went by I had to take all his clothes out except one shirt and one pair of pants, as he started putting on everything in the closet at once.
That's a very good idea Blue, to move clothes away from their view and access. My DH, too, kept putting on layers on top of layers, rather than remove dirty clothes and put on clean ones. He is now living in an ALF and I've discovered that unless something is right in front of him, he is not aware of it. Never looks in drawers or cabinets. In fact, he's not aware of much that IS in front of him unless I bring it into the conversation.
I think I am going to move my clothes out. I am also gong to move my makeup and thing to the other bathroom. I just feel I have given up so much now I am having to change everything for AD. I know that sounds selfish, but I have given up my job, going places. I know it is a trade off for my sanity. Although I do not know if my sanity will last. When it gets warm again he will go out in his garage and "clean" it daily. Only what 3 months? Maybe sooner living in Georgia.
Jackie29, I know what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. I don't work, and retired before my dH's symptoms became too noticeable, and we have slept in different rooms for years, for reasons not related to his dementia. But I do miss travel, being able to go places, being able to leave home and leave him behind so I can DO things. And I hate having to modify everything I do so that it suits my DH - giving up my activities, changing the way we eat and watch TV.
My DH has been sorting and resorting his closet for years. Every once in a while he gets me to get one of the bins of clothes from the basement, and he adds these to the pile in his bedroom, and then a month or so later will have me take the bin downstairs with different clothes in it. I thought at first it was because his closet won't hold all his clothes, so he would switch from summer to winter clothes, as per the season. And this may be how it started, but now his room is a clutter of clothes from every season of the year. He sorts and re- sorts, and wears different layers, and several different "outfits" during the course of the day. Some of his choices are not suitable for the season (shorts in wintertime) but as he rarely leaves our house, and our house is well heated and insulated, I let him wear what he wants. I take comfort in the fact that he still bathes!
you know in the scheme of things, having a couple of drawers with just his things to rummage thru may be an easy tradeoff Jackie. yes we have to adjust to the constants of AD but its less stressful to just accept and move your things somewhere else. they go thru the sundowning and it affects them all differently but usually daily. its just not worth it to stress over the things that can be resolved easily. even though we try to explain and expect them to follow they are unable to process and understand what bothers us, small or big. take care and try to adjust without conflict. your life will be easier in the long run. divvi
With DW it was dresser drawers emptied on to the bed daily and the linen closet, towels , in particular that would go down the garbage shoot. I found Lorazapam given mid afternoon minimized DW's rummaging (Sundowning in general). Also simple diversion helped greatly. I emptied most of the contents of The dresser into plastic bins which I the placed in a locked storage closet. I'd leave enough items so as not to frustrate her searching. For whatever reason DW never pulled my side of the dresser apart. She'd then sit with those few items and compulsively fold and re fold them frequently taking a box of Kleenex apart and fold and refold the tisses too Door alarms saved our towel supply from going into the garbage
Timely topic. My DH usually tears the closet, dresser and anything else in his room apart after midnight. Clothes, shoes, bedding, you name is strewn all over the room and anything he deems "precious" gets hidden. Two nights ago he spent at least 4 hours rummaging. I've left some inexpensive costume jewelry in the room because he seems so attracted to it and I think when he gets into that it helps stop the rummaging because he thinks it has value. Decide to do laundry today and found the "jewels" hidden at the bottom of the laundry basket covered by clothes. Usually it's in his shoes.
Lloyd broke into our lockbox so I took the really important things out of it and let him continue to rummage in it. It was what he wanted to do. Thank God for any little thing that gave him pleasure. And he would put favorite things in his pockets...a Hot Wheels golf cart...a Swarovski crystal golf bag. I just took it as a compliment that he felt such an attachment ot things that I had gotten for him. You did good, Marty! She probably really enjoyed doing that or it calmed her. LFL, good for you, too! Just imagine your feelings after he is gone and you find one of his hidden treasures..................it will feel like he is with you again.
I feel bad that I am having trouble adjusting to this. I am a neat freak, everything has to be in its place. I have never been one to have a lot of things sitting out. I do not collect things. I always feel that my memories are in each other not items. Even when my girls were little everything was organized. They are the same way now in their homes. When they come visit now their rooms look like a disaster area, not like their homes. I just know it is temporary so I am ok. I am very OCD I guess. The bad thing I read an article that says OCD could be a precursor to AD. I guess I need to change that. DH use to be like I am. He always was neat and his car and garage were spotless and everything in its place. I think I am just very tired. It has been 6 months or more since I have had a break for more than a day. Some times I don't think I will make it through this.
Jackie, you will make it thru this...if you want to. And if you don't, that's okay too. Do what feels right to you. although neither of us were "neat freaks" our house was always presentable if not highly organized. Since your girls are grown and out of the house, why should they care what their rooms look like? No one, not even YOU should judge you. Think about what's important to you and try to let the other sh^t go. I know having my husband at home with me is more important than how our house looks. Not happy about the clutter and disarray but having him with me far outweighs the mess. I'll have enough time to clean up and straighten out after he's gone. I treasure every day together (as hard as it is many days) because I know I will lose him and never have him back. Let him rummage away!
jackiem29 I no longer sweat that things are not organized. I figure after this all over I will have more that enough time on my hands to sort and clear things. Right now I just let them jumble up, if someone comes over and does not like it, they are free to clear things and sort things out. Sounds like you need some respite in a desperate sort of way. Call someone to come give you a break before you break!!
I have baby proofed (or Alzheimer's proofed) the living areas of our house and just put out stuff it won't hurt for him to get into. But now he goes in the bathroom at 2:00 or 3:00 AM, turns on the hot water and floods the bathroom before I wake up. There's just no limit to what they can get into.
Now why in the world didn't I think of that, marty? Duh! I've been looking at spigots that turn off by themselves. Thank you so much. I will try that tonight.