My chronic bad back makes it increasingly difficult to put in a full day at work and management changes have made me no longer really enjoy my work. I have also found that I can work and spend time with Charlie, work and spend time with my kids and grandkids, but not all 3 due to distance. I am seriously considering retiring but am afraid that not having a reason to get up in the morning might further compromise my own health or I will find myself at loose ends. Even though my daughters and I have a loving and supportive relationship, we do no SEE a lot of each other. I am not so unrealistic as to think that they will suddenly want me to be a big part of their daily lives when I have not been for so long. Any thoughts or experience with this?
I'm for anything that will help keep your own self intact, and I think there is more to be gained from being employed than just the pay cheque. You keep your skills up -- including people skills - and you are part of a bigger picture. Could you reduce your hours at work, such as job-share or part-time? As for your sore back (which I can sympathize with), sometimes a change of chair at work, or an exercise program, or a series of visits to a good physio will turn that around for you. We caretakers are isolated enough as it is, I don't like the idea of you further narrowing your world.
People that always need something to do had better have plans on what it is they will be doing. People like me that can laze around in a lawn chair all day and get up the next day and do it again are all set. I've been retired for six years and when other people ask me what I'm doing I answer "nothing". I love when a plan comes together.
With your back you've got a physical restriction that may do better if you take off the strain of doing a full day's work. That may be one reason to consider retiring. The main thing about retiring is how we feel about what's going on. That's why I started with what type of person you are. Busy people need things to do and those things only last when they're actually things we feel involved in. For example gardeners are always happy in the summer. Readers are well off no matter what season it is. Social people need to get themselves involved with contact with others like volunteering or organizations.
Everybody goes through a transition. Ideally this is a period where we allow ourselves to do some of the things we like. My wife and I planned to explore a new area and so we moved to a new city just as AD started to set in. We still enjoy driving around and exploring though. My wife still comments how beautiful things are out here in the country.
As to the other choice, I would urge you to consider being reasonably close to your children and grandchildren. You may not suddenly be a big part of their daily lives; but, you will be close enough to join in on so many family occassions and you will be more involved in their daily lives. Every grandmother I've ever met wants this. Retirement ideally is a time when we allow ourselves to be more honest about what we want and can have in life. Good luck with your choices.
I retired from my "real" job & moved across the country to help take care of my brother. He died before we got here, but daughter & son-in-law had retired from USAF and moved here; so we came on. I got an easy part-time job to get out and meet the community. Had to quit to stay w/hb. Daughter & family live nearby (just a woods between us), but we don't see or talk to each other every day, but know we're here for each other when needed. I've joined a couple organizations that hb can either come w/me to meetings and sit quietly, or a family member comes to stay w/him. When I had to quit the pt job, I thought I would be lost--was for a couple days; now I've adjusted and enjoy not having that responsibility as hb worsens. Lately have been taking him to 2 care groups a couple hrs 2 days; and he's happy with them. Retirement is an individual thing, and as wolf says, depends on personality and what you enjoy doing. I'd think w/back pain, not having to go out to work everyday would lessen stress. Nice to have choices to sit in lawn chair (if you're so inclined) or be a bit more active in community as you can. Bottom line: list pros & cons and make a personal choice. (Lotsa ramblings to get here:))
It took me a year and consultation with my Dr. to make the decision to stop working and go on disability. The deciding factor back then was what the Dr. pointed out, "With your CMT you have limited pool of energy each day. You have to decide on the most important places to spend it, because you can't do it all." At that point I became just a wife, homemaker, and Mom. Several years later, when our daughter was approaching High School I located some part-time work I could do at home, just a little extra income--grocery money. I did that through her High School and college years, while caring for DH. The last little job folded in Oct. 2008. I had to plan for satopping work, and plan my days---it's too easy to slide into drifting along, and things don't get done. Stopping work for me was like retiring. I had to become my own boss, get organized, and make it work. Nothings changed now, and in a couple years when Soc. Sec. bumps me over from SSDI to SS it'll stilkl be true. The only real change for me will be that if I chose to find employment, and am successful, there'll be less restriction on how many hours and how much I can earn without affecting my SS check. If I want to.
Five years ago, just two years after Dh was dx'd, I retired at 65-1/2. He was doing pretty good and I thought we could do a little traveling and I could spend more time with him. I loved my job/career though. After one year, DH just could not travel anymore - so I was stuck at home. However, I had a wonderful employer/lawyer, who lets me come in ANY TIME I WANT TO. I don't have the same management job I had, but they still pay me the same thing I was making while full-time, only for the hours I work. So...I have the best of two worlds. I usually go in M-W-F of one week, for 1-2 hours first thing in the morning - which is when DH is the best. The next week I'll go in Tues. and Thurs. for a couple of hours. I try to stick to that schedule, but don't have to. I am happy doing this and it gets me away from ALZ for a few hours each week - plus the paycheck comes in handy also.
Unless you are worn out and/or hate your job, I'd try to go part time at first and see how that goes. It's a big decision I know. Good luck to you!
ehamilton--could you take a leave of absence from your job for a little while to see how it goes? Or get some time off under the Family Medical Leave Act? That way you could try out retirement without actually giving up the job.
Yes, I could take Family Medical Leave, however that would be unpaid leave and I can't afford that. I have to have something coming in, either a pay check or a social security check. I am not planning to retire until the first of the year at any rate. I will continue to weigh the pros and cons and listen to any advice forthcoming from here. It is not a have to make a decision now sort of thing, just something I am kicking around and looking for feed back. Thanks.
Lots of good advice here. Wolf, you said it all. I was surprised how quickly I adjusted to being retired, how great it was to drop the job responsibility. BUT -- I was not coming home to be a full-time caregiver at that point.
ehamilton--check with the Social Security Administration. I think there's a way you can sign up for benefits and then stop them later (without jeopardizing yourself financially) if you decide to go back to work. You can call their 800 number and find out whether this approach might help you.
I retired at 62 - I was going to have to teach a building full of mac users to use PCs (!) and my boss had changed and I didn't like the new one (neither did anyone else but none of the others had the nerve to quit!) and I wanted to travel. That was twelve years ago, almost 13. I have never regretted it for one minute, but I was called back to fill in many times in the early years so it was a bit of an easy slide. I've kept up my skills and still do a lot of computer work and training, mostly pro bono.
briegull - sounds a little like me -in reverse. Our upper management has changed and no one likes her or what she is doing to our agency. They are going to make a lot of changes to our computer system that at almost 62 I really don't have the desire to learn. There was a time that I would have enjoyed the challenge of learning something new but I just don't think my heart is in it anymore.
My dh retired when we sold our business and started his SS benefits. However, he continued to work for the new owners for about 6 months, at their request, and we discovered he was going to have to pay most of his benefits back to them because of making too much money. We applied for and stopped his benefits - paid back what he had already received - and restarted SS again after he stopped working. I was worried we would never get it straightened out, but it eventually worked out.
Imohr, surely don't want to be in a situation where I have to pay anything back, I wouldn't have it to give back. I could probably work part time and not affect my SS benefits, but I am not sure that I even want to do that and do not know if it would even be an option.
You can work and still collect SS - there is a limit. After that they deduct $1 from SS for every $2 you go over the limit. The positive to still working part time is that you are still paying into SS so it could give you a higher SS payment later on (notice I said could). The 2010 limit is: $14,160 / For every $2 over the limit, $1 is withheld from benefits. Over 66 and there is no limit.