I think if I could sit down with a group of spouses this would be my first question to them. I would really like to know what were the changes in your spouses condition when you said to yourself....guess he/she is in stage 6 now or looks like he/she is in stage 7. I imagine many of the changes are minor and some major. Would love to hear your response to this post.
From Stage 6 to Stage 7 in three days. Pneumonia. He went from walking, talking (not always making sense) and feeding himself to unable to walk, feed himself and refusal to open his eyes. Four weeks later he is feeding himself pureed food and occasionally knows my voice. He opens his eyes for about an hour at a time and sleeps a great deal of the time. They try to get him to walk, but he just sits down after about 10 minutes and goes to sleep in the wheel chair. He is unable to move the wheel chair or get out of bed himself.
When he knows me, he puckers up and smacks his lips, meaning he wants a kiss. How many time can one heart break!!
Thanks Dels....my heart goes out to you. This condition is such a burden to the caregiver and the family. Hang in there and know you are not alone. There is someone watching over you right now and I am saying a little prayer for you and your dh. Pneumonia is one of the major concerns I have about my dh. He has bad lungs and bad heart. About 5 years ago he had blood clots and pneumonia in both lungs.
He sleeps a lot during the day and when he sleeps more then 3 or 4 hours at a time I am afraid to go into the bedroom to see if he is still breathing. I am afraid he might have had another heart attack.
JudithKB---My DH is in stage 6 from Vascular Dementia. I was told when he was diagnsed, that he cuould go all the way through Stage 7 or he could go of a massive Heart Attack or Stroke at any time. That was 2006. He as just ending Stage 4. Now, as I see him fade, I would welcome such an event. Quality of life is fading fast and I'd rather lose him quickly than have him linger who knows how long. He'd never want this for himself, had he the choice.
My DH is not near 6 . However, having seen my mother and an uncle suffer this disease all the way to stage 7, I would hate this for my DH who once was so strong, smart, flew jets etc. He has other medical issues, diabetes, heart surgery history, and is a stroke risk that any of these events could prevent those terrible last stages. I hate the thought of losing him but I hate the thought of him being so debilitated even more...those last stages are a humiliation. I would not want his kids to see this either..they have NO idea what Alzheimer's Disease does toward the end. They have heard about it but have never seen it. Funny how people always "think" they "know" but don't.
John's docs would never "label" any of the stages of Alzheimer's. I just watched the slow deterioration. He knew us most of the time till the very end. Just was the "disapearing man". Faded away, bodily and in mind. Faded like a whisper on a breeze. His death certificate notes that the cause of death was the blood disorder he had and dementia as secondary.
Most of the obvious signs of stage 6 are physical. Incontinence, walking problems, inability to take a shower without help (water temperature is the earliest sign, and needing prompting comes next). But there are also cognitive symptoms that involve difficulty in talking way before the 6 word stage of stage 7.
My husband STILL has mainly the cognitive symptoms. With therapy they got the walking, and ability to help with showering back. He is still at the borderline of incontinence. But the cognitive therapist told me that he has lost most cognitive functions although it sounds like he is still talking. You need to actually try to converse with him to understand that he does not make any sense at all.
If you think your LO has gone beyond stage 5, where the big symptom is the inability to live alone anymore, he probably has.
Stunt girl, I have been thinking of my DH as the "disappearing man". And some times I can still see him or talk to him. I am still so new to this, that every time he says or does something "AD" it is like a knife in the heart. I know at some point it will not hurt so bad for me, I think it is more my thought of the losses for my DH that hurts me.
blue, you said "...not hurt so bad for me..." I'm sorry but that time never comes. In the early stages you are hurt because of early stage things. In the middle stages you hurt because things and people disappear. In the late stages you are seeing major losses, and those hurt too.
Starling. You are so right. My DH has had this disease since Jan. 2003 and he just turned 67. He cannot really do anything for himself. I am just grateful he can open his mouth for me to brush his teeth and get up and sit on the toilet and go for short walks. I am sad and fearful every day. A couple of times strangers thought he was my father. Thinking he may not wake up after a long nap is something I also think about. It does not get easier. I am just grateful to know others like yourselves share their issues and feelings. It is so sad to see an active person just fade away. I don't even know what I can do to make him happy anymore except to feed him what he enjoys. Sometimes it is like walking with a blind person. When I ask how are you feeling or is something bothering you, the answers are always the same (fine and no). We have to do a great deal of guessing. One day (one moment) at a time.