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    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJul 28th 2010
     
    My DW has always been very calm. It's part of what I liked about her in highschool. In almost 40 years of marriage she's never yelled and has barely raised her voice (did kick through two different doors when we took care of her mother who was quite demanding at that stage). Our specialist said that bodes well and so far that's been true (around stage 5). While a lot of other things have changed including that she's on a 75mg anti depressant, her calm manner has been the same familiar rock steady. She cried a bit 3 or 4 times last year wondering what was going to happen even though she's 99.99% in denial about having AD.

    I don't think that would help if she starts feeling paranoid at some point; but, I wonder if previously really calm people tend to be less aggressive or angry longer?
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      CommentAuthorJerry*
    • CommentTimeJul 28th 2010
     
    My DW has also always been very calm, but about one year ago she was often quite distressed and upset, became very angry with me at times and even violent on occasion. Her doctor added Abilify which helped immensely within a week or so. Over the past year she has progressed to late stage 6 and for the most part, she has been very mellow and easy to care for. Main problem now is that she doesn’t know me on many days and wants to leave and go somewhere (doesn’t know where).
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJul 28th 2010
     
    Wolf- she may remain this way through her journey, or she can be like Jerry's wife. We just never know. Would suggest enjoy the ease of her now and do not dwell on whether she will get angry or violent. My hb is easy going as was his dad. His dad never got violent but he was a runner which may have been his way to express whatever was going on.
  1.  
    My wife has always been the calm, stable one in our family. She still is basically easy to care for (late stage 6), but occasionally will refuse to do what I want. Today she would not get out of bed, and screamed when I tried to get her up. Later, I wanted her to get out of her chair so we could go on to the next activity, and she resisted, saying that everything was wrong. Usually, if I wait a few minutes, she will forget what she was resisting and come along peacefully.
  2.  
    I think the only unqualified statement one can make about AD is that it's terminal--if something else doesn't get you first! So 'does a calm nature help?' I'd say, 'yes, no, sometimes, maybe, it depends, it couldn't hurt.'

    I think DH was a calm person, he never yelled, never hit me, but underneath, I often felt he was holding himself in. Well, I've done that, too. Did I want to scream at my toddler for this or for that? Yes, usually I'd hold it in, but sometimes I'd let loose. DH only wanted to protect me, he'd be the caveman at the entrance with a big stick keeping anyone, anything--human or animal--from his wife & children inside. So how did the day come when he stood in front of me, seething, eyes bulging, fists clenched, screaming that he could kill me?